Collection
by Crazee Canadia
Summary: What the title says, a collection of WaluigiXLuigi stories I had originally written for myself, now being shared with the fandom. WalGi not your interest? Don't like, don't read. Want to explore? Come in, and make a map to get out if you need it. Read the chapters in whatever order you wish. Some mature parts inside.
1. Scrapbook

**If you're here, then you must have decided to look for an interesting take on the world of Mario with the not so popular pairing Waluigi/Luigi. Yes, I do support it greatly. I also support Daisy/Luigi, mind you, Daisy is my favorite character. If you came to explore, review if you like it. If not, leave without a word. Improving comments are welcome.**

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><p>"I found the scrapbook!"<p>

"You didn't!"

"I did!" Daisy danced into the room, waving an old scrapbook around as she did; "Now we'll look at it!"

"What if I don't want to?" Luigi muttered, face turning red.

"Oh well." Daisy plopped down next to Luigi on the couch, smiling as she pulled back the cover. "Besides, you look charming in these."

"I don't care, some of them are humiliating." Luigi continued to look at the TV.

Daisy reached over and slammed her hand down on the remote, cutting the power off. "Look."

Luigi sighed and turned his head, seeing the picture with him smiling at the camera while trying to avoid getting caught in the frame. He noticed the suit he was wearing and realized that was his wedding photo.

"I do look charming in that." He muttered, looking down at the next picture, seeing Daisy holding a fist of cake in her hand and getting ready to throw it at Luigi. "That was when the looks stopped though."

Daisy giggled, "Oh, look here. You spilt wine on your brother."

"He deserved it." Luigi looked at the picture where his wine glass was tilting, the contents flying towards Mario. Both of the brothers' faces were very amusing.

"Well, better then Peach flipping out over getting strawberry juice on her dress. She was in the bathroom for the majority of the time. Rosalina was with her, remember?"

Luigi laughed, watching as Daisy turned the page, "Yes, yes – hey, look! Waluigi's in that one!"

The picture they were looking at consisted of Waluigi having dragged Luigi and Daisy onto the dance floor with him, and in a state of confusion he was holding Daisy while Luigi was hanging off his shoulders.

"That was weird." Luigi said, "He knew that you and I were dancing."

"But you were dancing with him."

"I – I was not."

"Aw," Daisy giggled, "yes you were."

"Hush." Luigi looked at the next photo, "You let that in there?"

"Yep." Daisy smiled at the photo, Waluigi and Luigi shoving cake into each other's mouths, "It's quite humorous." She looked below it before groaning, "The next one's gone!"

"Good." Luigi reached over and flipped the page, "Maybe it's in that box of the rest of the pictures."

"Hmm." Daisy admired the next picture, "Aw, you were tipsy."

The image of Waluigi lounging on some chairs with Luigi on top of him made said male blush heavily. "So?"

"It's cute!"

"I don't care."

"Oh, look, I still got it in here!" Daisy jammed her finger against the next photo – that part that came after "You may now kiss the bride." Daisy squealed as she made comments that Luigi couldn't understand.

She always got like this after looking at that picture. It was hard to continue looking in the book, because she wanted to just keep on looking at that one.

_**oOo**_

"So what'd you do today?" Waluigi asked, holding a paper up to the light.

"Oh, Daisy found our wedding scrapbook again. I should hide it somewhere in the attic. She hates it up there." Luigi grabbed a soda out of the fridge. "How was your day?"

"Normal." Waluigi muttered.

Luigi snorted while reaching into his pocket, "I want you to look at this, tell me this doesn't make you want cake."

"Hmm?" Waluigi looked at the picture that Luigi slid across the table, leaning back and smirking while saying, "Well, it was a good cake."

"Exactly why I didn't want to share it."

"But I made you."

"Then you stole some for later that night." Luigi laughed, remembering how _that_ went.

Waluigi only scoffed, holding the image of that picture that Daisy also loved (Maybe even more then the other picture). "You know, it's a wonder copies of this haven't been made. The lighting's good and everything."

"Yes, yes. But who'd want a copy other then Daisy?"

"Hey, it's a picture of us making out while trying to share a piece of cake while it's in our mouths! What girl wouldn't want that?"

"Anyone who doesn't know us." Luigi leaned against the counter, smirking at Waluigi while reaching towards the container of cake they got yesterday. "But now that you've said it out loud, I'd like to do that again… and maybe replay what happened on our honeymoon –"

Waluigi had knocked down the chair he was sitting in, scooped up Luigi and the container, and was heading upstairs before Luigi could even change his mind and say he was joking.


	2. Journal

The thing about Waluigi and his eating habits is that he won't swallow anything, unless it's an eggplant or grape candy. I know I'm not really supposed to worry about Waluigi and his nutrition, but I can't help it. Lately, I've noticed, every time he goes out into public he either wants to sit on a park bench or go home. When he sees Mario and me, he just nods away from us.

He's supposed to make our lives _miserable_.

I decided I was going to make sure I was right about his eating habits – I can almost see his ribs. But walking up to his house was like suicide, even when his piranha plants started snapping at me. I didn't want to hurt his plants, but one of them might need stem surgery now.

At the door I stood there, staring at the chipping paint. Should I knock? I wondered, narrowing my eyes. Of course, how else do you go into someone's house? Well, Waluigi doesn't know that – he just busts on into my house – so, I decided to give him a taste of his medicine.

"Waluigi!" I called out, walking inside as if this was my house. "Waluigi, where are you?"

I got no reply. So Waluigi leaves his house unlocked when he's out and about? I'm surprised he hasn't been robbed yet.

Walking further into his house, I decided to go check out his kitchen. First turn on the right, I entered and it looked like the room was something you'd find in a haunted mansion. Clean, but old. I dug through his cabinets and fridge, and all I found was a bunch of eggplants and grape candy. Exactly what I thought he'd eat.

Exploring some more, I slid into his living room – ugh, purple makes me want to barf at this point – and I was surprised that he keeps this room looking like it came out of a magazine. Flat screen TV, all the latest Nintendo systems (was that a SNES I saw? Mine's about gone), looked nothing like the kitchen.

One of the cabinet doors to the TV throne was open, and some movies were peeking through at me. I walked over, going to fix it before I saw what they were. Ugh, Waluigi – the kind of guy who'd have... adult entertainment movies.

It didn't scare me until I realized, _there's two guys on the cover of it._

Disturbed, I trotted out of the room quietly to go up the stairs – he's probably napping up here.

Looking down the hall at the landing, I saw that the house only had one bathroom and two bedrooms. I figured Waluigi used one for all of his junk collecting, but I literally jumped when I saw it was _clean_ as could be, curtains closed.

The other bedroom – I saw upon entering that Waluigi surely _was not here, so now I've broken into his house –_ was definitely being used. Waluigi didn't make the bed, and his dresser had clothes spewing from it. The closet was full of magazines (some similar to the "movie" I saw downstairs) and his desk was littered with papers.

Ah, I noticed, he had a journal. I picked it up and flipped through it, not caring about all the entries he'd first written. I flipped to the most recent one, realizing that Waluigi had pretty decent handwriting.

But not decent thoughts.

He had written about how he wished people would leave him alone now that a lot of his so called "friends" were gone, and how he planned on giving the rest of his food to the plants in the yard so he wouldn't be tempted to eat anything.

I stopped reading for a second to freeze. So Waluigi was going to starve to death?

Reading on, my inference was correct. Waluigi was going to starve himself, mainly because of reasons he could have fixed – people didn't like him, and he felt like crap all the time, I wouldn't show him any affection –

_Wait, what was that last sentence?_

Apparently, he's still in the closet, and he's had a crush on me for _years_ now.

_Well, I can see that he's hitting on Daisy to keep his cover. _

I kept on reading, sitting down in the chair for temporary comfort. After mentioning me, he went off about how he wished he knew if I really was the same way he was or not. Following that was paragraph after paragraph about the ways he admired me – pff, talking about me like I was some girl he was in love with. I could tell his French side came through when he used poetic terms to describe my eyes and hair.

Well, those terms made me blush.

The passage ended with the words being somewhat sloppier and pressed harder onto the paper. He ended with a sentence that declared that he wished I'd love him – he was going to kill himself because he knew I'd never!

Talk about drama. I already feel bad for him starving to death. Should I look at him and ask if he wants me to be a little more than a friend to him?

_Should I go ahead and offer to love him, in other words._

No, he'd probably be one for domestic violence, I tell myself, but I don't care! I feel bad for him, I don't want him to die, ugh, I wish I knew where he was so I could pull him to the side and talk to him –

_Shit._

_N-no, I don't have feelings for him._

But as I sit here, looking at the journal entry again, I can't help but disagree with myself. Waluigi didn't want a pity party, I figured that out.

I set his journal down and stand up, sighing. I decide I'm going to go find Waluigi and ask him a few questions. Act like I never knew about his journal.

I kept my eyes on the book though, mouth a thin line. Now I feel bad for reading his journal, damn it! I grimace, trying to turn around – but guilt makes my feet stay still.

This is why I hate guilt. It makes me stand here until I hear someone hurrying up the stairs, as if they were panicked.

_Waluigi is home. _

Slowly I turn around just as Waluigi comes into view of the doorway, and we both freeze. I put on my "shit, I'm busted" face, taking a step back. Waluigi looks at me, hands tightly grabbing the frame of the door.

"Um…" I start, "…hi?"

Waluigi just sighs. "Why are you in my house?"

"I – I was worried about you." I look away from his face to his body. His usually tight overalls are sagging on him; he's probably nothing but a skeleton and flesh now.

"Worried? Whatever." Waluigi growls, storming forward. "C'mon Eyeballs. In a tree you go."

Then, without any self control over myself, I hold my hand up. "You don't want to." I mutter.

Waluigi stops moving to look at me, "Whatever." He snarls again.

"You don't." Now I can't control myself. I have to speak. "You're just doing it because you feel like I always spit on you, always have and always will."

Waluigi's eyes widened, he stood up straighter and his mouth was a thin line.

I continue, thinking I'm making progress. "Look at you; you're starving yourself to death because you feel like not a single person in this kingdom cares. You're upset, love-lorn, tired, and most likely you're body wants you to eat something." I narrow my eyes back up at him, "I saw you getting skinnier, and that made me worry."

Waluigi snorts, "So you break into my house?"

"I originally was going to come and make sure you were eating OK." I swallow, ready for a punch to my face for what I say next. "But you weren't home. I invited myself inside, and looked around. Then I read your journal…"

He stops looking like he wants to kill me, and then he gave a look of embarrassment and worry.

"You… know your way to describe someone." I feel myself start to turn red. "So… I figured… you really wanted to, well, date me?"

Waluigi collapses onto the floor, but I catch his torso before it slams down. He's hyperventilating, clinging to me and I can feel tears soaking through the fabric of my shirt.

He's talking unintelligibly, but I can somewhat understand him, and I hug him until we're on his floor with me rocking him back and forth.

When he's calm, I force him to look at me. I turn my head just so, and pull him forward.

I want to kiss him and make him feel better.

I want him to know that – I too – have wished he'd be in love with me.


	3. Water BombOmb

"A little rough, don't you think?"

"Nah, its fine."

"You sure?"

"Yep."

Luigi crossed his arms and stared at Waluigi, "But aren't you worried about being caught?"

The taller snorted, "What's there to catch me? All I see is a few plants."

"Yep, a few plants that may have guards behind them."

Waluigi held the Bomb-Omb higher and said, "You're just jealous you can't create these things."

"Oh yes, I'm so juvenile."

Waluigi tightened his grip, "It's just gonna explode water."

Luigi gave a firm tug on the taller's sleeve, "I don't care, c'mon, they're gonna see us."

"Makes it even better."

Then, Waluigi threw the Bomb-Omb towards the gate, a few Toads having the misfortune of being the victim of the explosion.

"Waluigi!" Luigi hissed.

"Yep, let's go." The taller snatched up the shorter into a bridal carry and started to run, hisses of argument spat at him.

Meanwhile, Peach stood over the balcony overlooking the gate and said to Mario, "Aside from a few bugs, I think they're gonna be a good couple."

Mario only scoffed, "You haven't seen Waluigi at his worst."


	4. Chance

"I'm just fine without you bothering me."

"Are you sure?"

"Like I'm sure that you're annoying? Yes."

"You know I'm gonna be persistent."

"I can just drive away from you."

"I can just wait at your house."

"I can label you as a stalker."

"I'll just say I'm trying to win you."

"Yeah, talk to the judge."

"I will."

"Will you ever leave me alone?"

"Nope."

Luigi turned on his heel, embarrassed that Waluigi – of all people – was walking behind him while making comments about courting him. Worse, people actually heard those comments and seemed to be thinking about how the two would work together.

The shorter just wanted to jump off a bridge.

To be honest, Luigi had past experience with being in a same-sex relationship. (Stupid Prince.) Certainly Waluigi wanting to date him was a nightmare he could live without.

"Luigi, just one chance." Waluigi called.

"No. That's that." Luigi called back, speeding up his pace.

Waluigi didn't seem to lose him, but instead caught up, "Look, I'm not gonna make this one like your last."

A few toads walking by looked at them confusedly.

Luigi shook his head and started to jog, "No thank you, Waluigi. I'm happy the way I am."

"I can make you happier!"

"Ugh!" Luigi stopped and turned to face Waluigi again, "Leave me alone! I'm fine!"

"How can you be so sure? What happened after Daisy? Oh dear, I don't feel fine, but I'm gonna act like I am! What happened after your secret date? I don't feel fine, but I'm gonna act like I am! What's going on right now? I'm not fine; because the Prince broke my heart, but I'm just gonna act like I am!"

Luigi started to shake in anger.

"Yet, where was _I_ during all of this time? Hello, right in front of you, offering to help you – but someone would walk by behind me and you'd run after them!"

"Because I know what you'd do! I wouldn't like it!" Luigi shouted before marching off again.

A toad that was sitting at the nearby table looked at Waluigi – still standing there, frustrated – and said, "Can't win 'em that way buddy."

With a sigh, Waluigi started to think about how he _could _win. "I know."

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><p><strong>Written in response to learning that PeasleyLuigi was a popular couple. Which I don't agree with, honestly. But that's my opinion.**


	5. Introduction

"Oh, look, he's blowing kisses at you." Daisy giggled, hand wrapping tightly around her glass.

Luigi didn't want to look, he knew who it was. Well, not his name, but he knew what the guy looked like and that he had a bit of an attraction to Luigi. "I – I don't care…"

"Go on, look." Daisy pushed Luigi's chair so that he wasn't facing the table anymore, but across the room where the people who came here more often were hanging out.

There was _that_ guy again, super tall and decked out in dark colors. There he went again, getting Luigi's eye contact and blowing a kiss.

Luigi wanted to throw up.

"He's interested." Daisy sang, "He is!"

"No, no, no." Luigi turned to face her. "Look, I'm gay, but I'm not the gay that throws himself at other gays who just blow kisses at him from across the room."

"Would you if he came over and talked to you?"

"Probably not."

Daisy slammed her fists on the table, "Why not?"

"He's…" Luigi looked back, trying to make the stare unobvious. But that guy saw him, giving a wink before Luigi yanked himself back around, "…just flirting, because he's bored. He's not interested."

"How can you tell?"

"You don't see anyone else in here doing that, do you?"

"Um, yeah. I see gays doing it. I see straights doing it."

Luigi rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, "Daisy, I'm just not into him. I don't even know who he is."

"You should by now, seeing as how we've been coming in here for the past week." Daisy fiddled with her hair, "Not to mention that I dragged you out here to _meet someone_?"

Luigi scoffed, "Look, I'll be fine. If I want a good fuck, I'll make my brother drunk and deal with him like I've done before."

"Yeah, but incest isn't smiled upon." Daisy leaned back, smiling as she proved a point, "Besides, doesn't your brother fuck the same way _every time_?"

"Fine, you got a point." Luigi sighed, "B-but with him I know how it's gonna be –"

"That makes it _boring_ Luigi! You gotta find someone who'd give the sex a little _spice_."

"Why are you adding emphasis to the last word you say?"

Daisy groaned, "Meet someone, your brother is the same every time, you gotta add some spice."

"I'm fine the way I am." Luigi stood from the chair, "If you'll excuse me, I need a bathroom break."

"Make sure you flaunt it."

"Shut up."

With a laugh, Daisy watched as Luigi started to walk towards the bathrooms, smirking when he remembered that guy was standing near them. She also swore that Luigi started to walk a little more like he was a complete girly gay when he got near that guy.

And that guy actually looked at his ass.

It was either the beer that Daisy was drinking that made her think it was so funny, or it really was just funny – even when the guy leaned over to his friends and mouthed something like "I'd tap that."

A few minutes later, Luigi was coming back out the way he went in, doing that walk again. The guy checking him out, again.

"I saw that." Daisy said when Luigi sat down.

The Italian blinked, "Saw what?"

"You were doing _that_ walk when you got near him."

Luigi shrugged, "Did he look?"

"He said he'd tap that."

Eyes widening, Luigi grabbed his arm – like he usually did when someone told him something he didn't know what to believe.

"He did." Daisy looked back at the guy, seeing him arguing with his friends.

"I – I think we're done coming here." Luigi started to push his drink away.

"Do you not want that guy hitting on you?"

"No, it's just – I don't like strangers, that much."

"Then how do you meet people?"

"I meet new people through introductions by people I already know." Luigi sighed, "Who's driving?"

"Who's more sober?"

"How many have you had?"

"I don't know."

"I'm driving then."

On their way out, Daisy looked back at the guy once more, seeing him sigh in disappointment. Yes, he was interested alright. Daisy just threw her hands up at him, mouthing "Tomorrow, OK?"

_**oOo**_

Another night, another time sitting at the table, Luigi rambling on about how some strange guy pinched his ass while he was out at the park today, doing all the gay like things and asking questions like "Daisy, honestly, do I have like a killer ass?" or, "Daisy, should I do something about myself? Like, go to the gym? I really feel fat."

Across the room, Luigi's admirer was eyeing at Luigi, again.

Daisy leaned over, "Why don't you ask him?"

Luigi shook his head, "I am not asking that guy. Forget it."

"C'mon."

"No!"

Daisy threw her hands up, "Seriously Luigi." She slapped them back down, "What if he started walking over here right now?"

"I'd, be, dead." Luigi started to run his fingers under his hat, through his hair.

"Don't try finger combing now." Daisy grinned, "Because he's coming."

If Luigi had a stand-still contest with the wall, he'd win. He's also beat a tomato at a being-red-faced contest as well.

Daisy's smile grew bigger, "I think I'm gonna run over here." She got up.

"Wait –" Luigi began, turning around to stop her, but of course it'd be impossible to see through the guy's body, right?

Daisy just leaned against a wall, watching as Luigi stuttered and hid his face while Waluigi smoothly started a conversation and sat down next to him.

She knew Waluigi alright, so this should count as an introduction Luigi was used to.


	6. Bite Himself

It was just an evening where Waluigi would come over, bug Luigi, and go home. That was just it.

But things changed whenever Mario was out, making this a lesser challenge. Things changed whenever Luigi jumped up from the couch to grab the remote and shut off the TV, blushing as he did. Things changed when Waluigi leaned over and saw that his cousin had been fiddling with a rose and a glass of wine while he was watching his romance movie.

It was enough to make things change.

Luigi quickly started to snatch up the rose and wine glass, muttering a speech about how Waluigi should at least get a girlfriend or go out drinking and stop bothering him.

Waluigi just stood there, arms tightly folded against his chest as he looked down. Truth was, he had seen a little bit of one of those cheesy romance movies a few hours before he decided to come bother Luigi. That little bit of watching made him think about said relative of his.

Luigi started to defend himself after Waluigi questioned the occasion, making up excuses while he did. He was bored, he felt like having wine, nothing else was on TV, the rose was just there.

Waluigi just sat down on the couch, waiting for Luigi to get back from the kitchen. He just stared at the blank TV screen, imagining himself as the shorter, sitting there, just watching it with a rose and glass of wine.

Five minutes later, Luigi was starting to try and convince Waluigi to leave, red still on his face. Mario would be home soon, Waluigi's oil company may be looking for him.

While there was all that hand gesturing and that head moving, Waluigi found himself entertained by Luigi. Not his voice, not his actions, not his looks, but just Luigi.

Right there, Waluigi felt himself want the shorter.

He made a sexual innuendo when he could; enjoying the look on Luigi's face when he heard it and pictured it in his head. He started to recline on the couch, trying to look as sexually inviting as he could.

Finally, Luigi threw his arms down in frustration and demanded to know what Waluigi wanted.

With a smirk, Waluigi got up and walked in front of Luigi, kneeling down so they'd be face to face. Luigi's face turned just as red as it could be, but then he said that it was hot in the room. Waluigi just said it was because he was in heat, with a wink, and reached around – successfully pinching Luigi's ass.

Waluigi never heard such a sexier gasp come from his rival.

The next thing he knew, he was pinning Luigi down on the bed, laughing as he dry humped Luigi's thigh and slammed their growing erections hard together.

Then he found himself dizzy, staring down at Luigi as his clothes slowly came off. Waluigi just wanted his cousin nude, right now, but then again it'd ruin the sex.

Before he could figure anything else out, Waluigi was enjoying that look Luigi gave him, his facial expressions as he enjoyed the thrusts of the taller, the sounds that escaped him as well.

Now, Waluigi was regretting it all. As he looks at Luigi while he is sleeping, Waluigi wishes that this wasn't how the night was supposed to end. He reaches over, poking Luigi on the shoulder, watching him blink awake and mutter the question of what was wanted.

Right then and there Waluigi wishes he could bite himself.

He'd fallen in love with his so-called rival.


	7. Mouth Taped Shut

His mouth was taped shut.

Waluigi didn't want to admit the fault of his attraction to Luigi, no, he didn't. Luigi was his rival, and rivals weren't supposed to love each other.

He had to settle for teasing him, being a bully, just so he wouldn't fall on his knees and beg to be loved back. He had to hang the shorter in a tree by his overall straps, just so he wouldn't smother him in sloppy kisses. He had to act like he wanted Daisy just to keep his cover.

Which caused Waluigi to be a loner. He stayed at home as often as he could, hardly ever went out to even grab a drink. Waluigi didn't want his cover blown.

Even Daisy herself started to come up to his door and ask what's been keeping him in his house all the time.

Every one, except Luigi. Luigi seemed to be thankful that the taller was locked in his house.

Daisy, finally, had to break into Waluigi's house one day just so he'd talk to her face to face. Arms crossed, stern look on her face, she growled the question of why he didn't even come out to tennis matches anymore.

Waluigi just pulled the blanket over his head and muttered his begs to be left alone.

The Princess just ignored him, kept on questioning, even yanked him to his front door and kicked him out of the house onto the lawn. He wanted to go back inside; Waluigi hadn't taken a shower today.

Daisy then knelt down next to him, pressing a kiss to his forehead and asking, "Is this enough to make you come back out?"

Waluigi wished he could kill her and bury her in the desert. "No." He pushed her away and went back inside.

The rest of the week followed with Daisy breaking in, kicking him out of his house, either to the sidewalk, the curb, or the outskirts of the city.

The last day of the week, Luigi saw the situation and ran over, asking what was wrong.

"Mr. Shut-in here," Daisy replied, "Hasn't been out of the house in weeks."

"So what, Daisy? Leave him alone."

"Please." Waluigi begged, "Even Luigi wants me inside!"

"Maybe if Luigi went ahead and told you." Daisy smirked, "You just might stay locked in together."

Waluigi saw Luigi blush, kicking the ground. Daisy punched his shoulder, "Go ahead, Weegee."

Waluigi just sat on the ground, brushing dirt off the side of his face.

Luigi looked up and said, "C-can we go out, sometime, Waluigi?"

Dream come true. He didn't even have to open his mouth.


	8. Rounds

As they lay there in bed, recovering from their fifth round, Waluigi could do nothing but stare at his normally seen rival sleeping peacefully. The sweat had collected around this forehead, starting to go down his face, somewhat giving his usual, cheerful look a tiring view.

But Waluigi liked it. He reached forward and lightly brushed his fingers against Luigi's hairline. The smaller just shook his head in his sleep and sighed.

Waluigi only stared with half-lidded eyes and smiled. He'd never thought that he'd ever fall for his rival – who, to be honest, was very cute in all ways. He just wanted to be kissing him all the time, enjoying that little giggle he gave in adornment and embarrassment.

But everyone else thought they were rivals.

Waluigi readjusted the blanket so that it covered both of their shoulders and scooted closer to Luigi, wrapping an arm around him and kissing his forehead, whispering "_Je T'aime_." In hopes Luigi would hear.

He felt disappointed when Luigi didn't reply, but kept on hugging him and occasionally kissing his forehead.

Soon, Luigi woke up, snuggling into Waluigi's chest and muttering "_Ti amo_."

"Same here." Waluigi whispered.

They laid there a moment before Luigi kissed Waluigi's neck, the taller taking this message quickly. He crawled on top, and started their sixth round.

It was hard not to just attack Luigi with those faces he made, ones wincing in pain, ones smoothing out with love, and others just showing how much he was enjoying himself. Waluigi could only make one face the entire time, _a face that said he'd die if Luigi never let him do this again. _

His whimpers of pleasure also made the taller want to just stay like this forever. Luigi's voice, as a matter of fact, was like some sort of music that could never be played unless someone deserved to hear it. Waluigi deserved to hear it.

As they start to recover from the sixth round, it is three in the morning, Luigi's dead asleep, and Waluigi's starting to feel tired himself. But he doesn't want to sleep, he wants to lay there and watch Luigi.

The next thing he knew, he blinked and Luigi was coming out of the bathroom with some towels and saying, "Morning! How's about a shower before we start the day?" 


	9. Glad

"I could use a break." Waluigi threw the oil rag to the side, "I'm starting to get a headache anyway."

Luigi leaned back from his cart; oil smeared across his cheek and other stains on his sleeves. "You? Headache?"

"Yes." Waluigi walked by. "I actually have a headache coming."

"Shocker. The headache gets a headache."

"Shut up."

Luigi went back to tinkering the engine, occasionally looking up to see if Waluigi had returned. He could use someone to start the cart for him and see if he made the correct fixings.

Of course, Waluigi may as well have gone home, leaving Luigi the last one in the shop. With a sigh, Luigi threw the wrench he was using to the side and shut the hood, leaning against it as he figured what he had to do.

Right then, Waluigi returned with his hands in his pockets. "You leaving?"

"I was getting ready to." Luigi grabbed an oil rag, wiping his hands on it before tossing it back, "How about you?"

"Huh, it can wait." Waluigi replied.

"The cart?"

"No, Luigi, the bills. Yes the cart."

Luigi scoffed as he walked towards the door, "Well, help me and turn off that light over there."

To his surprise, Waluigi actually did what was asked without any complaining. Luigi turned around to look at him, but saw nothing but the dark. "Waluigi?"

"Yes, Eyeballs?"

Luigi shrieked, jumping back and landing on the floor while Waluigi stood above him, chuckling. "Things haven't been the same since you've returned from that mansion."

"Shut up…" Luigi replied bitterly.

Waluigi knelt down; sighing as he slowly reached out and grabbed Luigi's hand. "Glad you're back though."

"Thank you?"

"I mean it."

Luigi just stared. "Um, explain why you're so happy I'm back?"

Waluigi just looked at the floor, grip tightening around the hand he held. He took a deep breath, bringing Luigi's hand up and kissing it.

"What the –" Luigi managed to yank his hand away. "Waluigi?"

"Wouldn't have been able to do that without you here."

"W-why would you want to do that?"

"Because I can."

Luigi rubbed where Waluigi had kissed his hand, eyeing him while starting to get stiff – just as stiff as he did in the haunted mansion he had to save his brother from. "W-Waluigi, a-are you alright? You're k-kinda…"

"Pale?" Waluigi asked.

"N-no… just, acting stranger and stranger."

Waluigi crawled closer to Luigi, managing to catch him against the wall. Turning his head, he spoke, "Well, imagine how I'd be if you were stuck as a painting."

"Um, happy?"

Waluigi sighed before launching forward, scaring the already frightened Italian and applying a lot of pressure to his lips. Waluigi's skinny arms wrapped around Luigi's torso, and he started to poke his tongue at Luigi's bottom lip. _Let me in._

Luigi found himself relaxing five seconds in, slowly raising his arms to wrap around Waluigi, and shyly letting his lips open a little.

Tongue invasions never felt so wrong, yet somewhat pleasing before. Luigi sighed, letting Waluigi keep his dominance of the kiss and enjoying the feel of his hands roaming his back, breathing deeply as their tongues rubbed against each other.

Sadly, before Luigi could fully enjoy this moment, Waluigi pulled back slowly – making sure to suck on Luigi's bottom lip before their mouths were no longer in contact. "Do you think I'd be happy?"

With his heart beating like a jackhammer, Luigi smiled and replied, "No, don't think so."

Which is why Daisy was so glad she forgot her cell phone in her cart, and had parked it near Luigi's. 


	10. Blue Shell

If Luigi could be the angriest person in the world, it'd have to be during a kart race that he was _this_ close to winning. Nothing would cheer him up, you could see him sitting off to the side, frowning at the fact he was second because of the damn blue shell that his brother saved to use when he was close to passing.

You could see him pouting as he merely wiped a little blood from his cheek, which had a straight line of red on it. Maybe he had bruises in other places, but he was ignoring them.

Waluigi only got up to third, which he was pretty happy about. But he knew exactly why Luigi was much pissier about his loss – Mario made him lose it. The fat ass always had to feel like he was always a winner.

While every one else rolled in their karts for the day and wait for the trophy awarding, Waluigi strolled over to the shorter and sat down next to him. "Upset?"

Luigi just growled, "More."

"Could kill someone?"

"Absolutely."

"Hm. Maybe your points total will make you first."

Luigi just looked up, staring at Waluigi while talking through his teeth, "I wanted a perfect streak."

"There's tomorrow's cup." Waluigi looked at the cut on Luigi's cheek. "Hey, you got a little something there…"

"I know." Luigi wiped his hand over the cut once more. "Leave it alone."

"Keep touching it, get infected."

"It'll be fine."

"It'll leave a permanent mark."

Luigi slammed his hands onto the dirt behind him. "I don't care! I just want to be alone!"

Waluigi scoffed and leaned back on his hands, "That's not gonna be happening."

"Oh, right I forgot – you love seeing pissed off Italians don't you?" Luigi spat back, starting to stand up before Waluigi threw his hand in front of him.

"Nuh-uh." He said. "I know how you feel right now. So many times they took first from me…"

"Hmm."

Waluigi looked back at Luigi. "Anyway, I'm still worried about that cut."

"Since when are you worried about me being injured?"

"Well, that could get infected and you'd have a hideous looking face blemish." Waluigi leaned forward, "Or you could buy concealer and cover it up."

Luigi shot a questioning look over to Waluigi, "Um, OK? Since when does my face matter to you?"

"Maybe I like the way you look."

Luigi looked down, cut literally blending into his face as he blushed, "We've already been over this Waluigi…"

"Oh, sure we have." Waluigi narrowed his eyes at Luigi, "You didn't even finish the conversation because Mario dragged you off."

Luigi sighed, looking up from the ground back at Waluigi, blinking at him slowly before saying, "So what?"

"I'd like to finish that conversation."

"…fine."

"So, starting from the sentence about asking if you still liked Daisy…"

"Pff." Luigi sat up straight, apparent that he forgot the race. "Not after she sold me out to Mario about trying some vodka and… y'know."

Waluigi nodded, "Yeah. By the way, you were bragging about being a cute, drunk princess."

"Shut it."

"The cute part was true…"

The shorter turned away to look at the road, focusing his attention on it. Waluigi growled, scooting closer and reaching to grab Luigi by the chin and forcing him to look back.

"Alright, I'll fast forward." Waluigi muttered. "So because you don't like Daisy anymore and because we woke up in the same bed that morning…"

Luigi was quiet.

"…I figured you'd be OK if I asked you out."

Luigi quickly went hysterical, jumping back onto the dirt and stuttering a mix of English and Italian while trying to remain calm at the same time. Finally, he managed to make the sentence, "Wh-wh-wha-what? G-go ou-out with you? L-l-li-lik-like-like as in us dating?"

"Duh."

After looking blank, Luigi turned red again while making a dumb sounding giggle. "Uh, heh, uh… well, interesting question… I'll… get back to you on that."

Waluigi groaned and threw himself backward so he was lying on the dirt, "Good gravy Luigi, I want an answer now!"

"Why?"

Looking up and over, Waluigi took a deep breath before responding, "I got wine."

Luigi perked up, quickly grabbing Waluigi's hand and saying, "Can I take some?"

"I dunno." Waluigi sat back up, idea quickly growing. "It's the kind that you'd go broke buying. Best served at parties or to drink at the end of a –" he gave Luigi a sharp glare, "– great date."

Luigi bit his lip, looking at the ground while thinking. He was quiet for five minutes before he said, "How about a test run?"

Laughing, Waluigi reached over and pulled Luigi on top of him, "It's a money back guarantee, but you surely won't regret it."

They missed the trophy awarding, Waluigi having decided to kidnap Luigi and take him off somewhere (with some thoughts of "fun" in his head) be the reason why. But it was good that they missed it, Mario was really frustrated that Luigi got the trophy. 


	11. Gum

"This is the last, _last time_; you steal the rest of my gum." Luigi snarled, throwing an empty gum box down on the ground.

Waluigi only chuckled, annoyingly smacking the gum he stole. "I'm too cheap to buy my own."

"I can see that." Luigi leaned against the counter, sighing while grabbing his forehead. First, Waluigi broke into his house, annoyed him, and even walked in while Luigi was in the shower – as if it was _his_ house!

Now, Waluigi took the rest of Luigi's gum. Not that it was a big deal, but Luigi needed gum to chew to focus on working math problems. Mario needed to know this and that for the plumbing business, and he was _horrible _at math.

"Now, why exactly are you making a big deal over gum anyway?" Waluigi questioned, casually propping his feet up on the table, "It's just sugary rubber."

"I need it to focus."

"On what? Fapping?"

"Math, Waluigi, I need it for some math."

Waluigi laughed, "Why are you doing math at 20 years old?"

"For the business." Luigi growled, looking in the cabinets for something else to chew on. If he ever got to working. "Don't you have something you need to be doing?"

"I got someone else to do the work for me. With all the money the oil company forks over I can hire someone to do all that paper work and math and I can just hand them the bills and sleep."

"Well, unlike you, Mario and I are still working our asses off to make a living." Luigi slammed the cabinets closed, starting to get stressed.

Waluigi stopped chewing the gum, eyeing Luigi – looking shocked that he slammed the cabinets like he just did.

"I'm – I'm just sick of all this work! One day off, one day where I don't have to deal with kids screaming while I try to figure out which toy is clogging up the shitter, one day where I don't have to deal with old people breathing down my neck, trying to sound like they know what's wrong, just one fucking day! The other six I'm either running around town or sitting at a desk, doing math until my hand and head hurts!" Luigi started to slam things around, marching from the kitchen. "I can't even relax until Sunday – and even then I can't get an extra hour of sleep because Mario always wants me to run around town with him!"

Waluigi followed Luigi into the living room quietly, sitting on the couch while Luigi continued to complain and whine, spit about random things about having a small business, throwing papers off the desk and even throwing a calculator across the room. The taller had to duck twice to avoid getting his eyes gouged out with pencils, and even jumped whenever erasers started to fly and Luigi started cussing in Italian.

All of this because of no gum?

"I wish Mario had just stayed a demolition man!" Luigi ended his rage, throwing a marker across the room and looking after it – face red and he was taking heavy breaths.

Waluigi casually stood up, slowly walking over to Luigi – making sure eye contact.

"Where are you going?" Luigi snapped.

Waluigi just finished walking over, standing tall in front of his rival and keeping his eyes open.

"What?" Luigi shouted.

This was when Waluigi slowly knelt down to Luigi's level, slowly getting closer to his face, temporarily cheeking his gum. He pulled Luigi closer by wrapping an arm around his torso so that their foreheads touched.

Luigi started to get flustered. "W-Waluigi…"

Waluigi only chuckled before hurriedly pressing their lips together, taking time to slowly apply pressure to their mouths and run his hand down Luigi's back to his ass.

"Waluigi – hey!" Luigi jumped - broke the kiss, to Waluigi's dismay – feeling a sudden pinch down low. He reached around, grabbing Waluigi's wrist and throwing it like it was a pencil.

With a growl, Waluigi lunged forward, knocking Luigi into the nearby recliner and continued to kiss him. In the confusion, Luigi found himself rubbing tongues with Waluigi, breathing heavily and desperately grabbing at the neck of his shirt.

They stayed on the recliner like that, Waluigi literally shoving his tongue down Luigi's throat and sucking the other's tongue out of his mouth. Luigi was surprised he himself didn't gag on his so called rival's tongue.

Waluigi – after what felt like seven minutes – pulled away slowly, biting Luigi's bottom lip before leaning back completely. "Better?"

Luigi looked back up questioningly, "What do you mean –" he remembered his hissy fit earlier. "– oh. That."

"You got your gum back, by the way."

Luigi then moved his tongue around his mouth, feeling a tasteless gum. Narrowing his eyes up at Waluigi, he got ready to spit it out, up at the taller.

Waluigi just smiled, "If you spit it at me you're gonna be taking a big risk."

Luigi shrugged, taking a deep breath, turning his head, and then spitting the gum towards the trash can. He didn't make it, but he didn't care.

"Oh, you call me messy?" Waluigi laughed. "What about your math work?"

Luigi just reached up, pulling Waluigi closer to his face. "It can wait until I get more gum."


	12. Cuddling

Cuddling.

Not the manliest thing to do.

But cuddling... Why not do it?

Especially with him - he's so adorable when it comes down to cuddling.

It doesn't matter when it happens: when he wakes up, watching TV, after making love, or whenever he's cold, he always makes it cute.

We're both slim guys, him more than me. Not to complain, but it makes him easier to grab and pull in no matter where he is- standing, sitting, lying down.

He also mutters nonsense, in both Italian and English. He also sounds a bit like a baby, snuggling into my chest while we get so close to the point were melting into each other.

The way he does things amuses me.

I'm fragile with him in everything we do - those brawls we had in the park were me just going easy on him.

If I treat him like he's rare glass he'll be at his full enchanting power. I can't keep my eyes off of him when he is like this - we cuddle before a sports match and he wins with grace, the way he flaunts in a new pair of overalls, how he purposely bends over in front of me to tease - the list goes on.

But it's better when he's clumsy.

He could be walking over to me and knock over a vase on the table before blaming it on his big butt (_I like how it looks, I get good grip during sex, heh heh!_). He could be asking for something when it's right in his hand, or even when I'm waving it in his face.

Cuddling solves all those problems.

Yet, he tries to make it so he's not as feminine as I'm turning him into. I've been dominated more times then I can count and he's still got a couple of things to learn. He cleans perfectly, but tries to drag me into helping him - and ends up slacking off on it. To make this short, I'll just say the carpet matches the curtains. It's Mario's fault for leaving him at home to be a housewife all the time.

Housewife... I think that's the best way to describe him and how much he cares about me.

I used to hate how people reacted to us in public.

Waiting in line for anything always gets boring, unless he's there with me. People always grimaced at our cuddling; now, they just brush it off like we're a normal couple. Some even have guts to ask if we're getting hitched anytime soon.

I would ask him if we could, but I feel we're better just the way we are right now.

Cuddling under the covers tonight, that's really all I look forward to.

* * *

><p><strong>**Drabble, that's all this really is. **<strong>


	13. Height

If there's one thing I hate about our relationship, it would have to be my height.

Honestly, that's our problem.

I'm probably on the short side of normal height, which isn't very tall if you ask me. I can reach my top cabinets just fine, and if I need to I'll pull a chair over to a shelf if I need to get something from it.

Now, my boyfriend, _he's_ a tower.

He's probably a good foot or two taller then I am, and it's hard to try and get his attention whenever we're in a packed place out in public.

Along with that, he uses his build to his sad advantage over me.

I hate it when he decides to steal something from me, and then hold up while I claw at him, trying to use him like a ladder. I also extremely dislike it when he uses me like a stool or table to prop up against – his bony elbow digging into my head!

He's more leg than he is anything else, so he's a fine athlete when he feels like it – mainly whenever I'm on the opposing team during any sport. When it's nothing athletic, however, it's more like hell. I can't count the number of times I've been pinned or held prisoner by his legs and arms, or how many times I've been tripped onto a couch by him.

I'm endlessly embarrassed by him, people have cooed at how sweet we are hugging in public (my head reaches only his chest, how in the heck is that cute?), and whenever I'm sitting he can make it look like we're doing something obscene with hardly any effort – a-ahem. You catch my drift?

_Then again, being short has its advantages_.

It's easy to tackle him when he least expects it, I could trip him just by crawling on the floor behind him and waiting for him to move sideways, and I have more room on our bed than he does (but he hardly sleeps anyhow).

I have a reason to make fun of him whenever he tries to drive a car ("You look like a frog over there!"), and I can avoid being hit in dodge ball very easily – he's one of the first people out!

He whines a lot whenever I start "teasing" him, which I don't see how I do it. Do short people have bigger hips or something? I wish he'd stop giving me that look whenever I bend over to pick something up! The only teasing I ever do on purpose is running my hands down his torso until I'm almost to his private area, and then I just take my hand away and ignore him. (Hey, he can't do that to me unless he's sitting!)

_But this is still kind of an awkward relationship_.

I've had to borrow his clothes before, and I ended up ruining a good pair of his overalls due to their length. His shirts are great for sleeping in during winter, and who doesn't like getting drunk and forcing your jeans onto your too tall boyfriend? Guess what, he's got high waters!

It's fun to make him squat down a little in public, just so he can kiss me before we leave to go home or something, but I'm terrified when he picks me up to do the same (he could drop me and I'd die!).

We've carried each other bridal style before, it looks so sweet with him carrying my around, but when it's switched I look like I'm a Chihuahua with a German Sheppard sized dog bone in its mouth.

I wish I was a little bit taller, but then again, I've never seen Waluigi bow down to someone five feet, three inches.

* * *

><p><strong>*Another drabble. I have homework, but I don't want to do it. **<strong>


	14. Bar

The little bar that was hidden by a few other flashy businesses called the attention of certain men, ones that had no interest in what a woman had to offer – ones that wanted to see their own gender moving fluidly like a slut.

Luigi felt that his part time hidden profession was giving him more freedom and energy. It was quite exciting; sneaking out after big brother Mario went to bed on the weekends, thinking that Luigi was still as sweet and as innocent as ever. Much better was the feeling of walking down a dark street in the city, looking as if he were wearing normal attire – when he was really wearing it to cover tight pants with the thighs cut out and only held the lower leg parts with elastic straps.

The people who usually entered this business were people Luigi didn't know, and who didn't know Luigi. It'd be best if no one knew, because they probably couldn't picture the sweet, shy Italian man dancing around a pole and getting money for kissing and pleasuring other men.

Maybe he had the guts, that would've been his reason for not dating Princess Daisy – but he was too sweet to say that he didn't really like the girl that much.

Besides, he was gay – and he was the only one who knew that secret. Getting a part time job at this run down place for others like him was the only place he could cheerfully flirt and whisper kinky ideas into the ears of another man itching to screw him.

Then _he _had to come in one night…

oOo

Hours ticked on like water moving around in a river, with no real business or purpose whatsoever.

Tonight seemed one of those insane nights, Luigi was the only man doing his job while the others were sitting in a corner, laughing and having their cutesy-manly drinks.

While some man-on-man flirting action was going on in that corner, the majority of the club had their eyes on Luigi; who was a little bit _too_ talented with pole dancing and – occasionally – laying down on the micro stage that surrounded the pole so that people close enough could get a chance to touch him where they wanted, or even give him the stupid little tips of one to five dollar bills.

As of right now, Luigi was exhausted, staring up at the various colored lights that didn't make the place seem any brighter, a couple of men hitting on him while another was cautiously reaching out to touch him.

All he wanted to do was sleep, go home and sleep for the rest of the week; even though his body was on a healthy time schedule.

Then again, this was only one out of two chances this week to find a temporary male to please.

Luigi sighed, ignoring the growing volume of guys hooting at him and his looks while getting off of the floor, swatting away the hands of drunks who tried to grab him to drag him off somewhere.

The bartender looked up from a glass, smirking at Luigi while holding up a bottle of water – mouthing that free alcohol wasn't going for Luigi tonight.

"C'mon man," Luigi muttered when he got closer, hearing his coworkers finally getting out of their corner to do their parts of the job, "I don't want water, I need a beer. I'm planning on leaving soon anyway."

The bartender widened his eyes, "Y-you can't do that without the boss' permission!"

"Well, he can deal with it." Luigi spat, "If I'm the best one here, I deserve to leave when I want to. One drink and I'll get back to work for another hour."

"I can't do that Luigi; the others have already taken the portion set aside for employees…"

Luigi's hand curled into a fist, eyes narrowing before he threatened, "Look, I'm starting to get irritated. If you'll just pass me a drink – anything but water – and let me take my time drinking it, I'll count it out of my pay."

The bartender's eyes widened before he spoke, "How's about this? I give you a drink, and we go out to my car in a few?"

"Um, no." Luigi replied, "First of all, you don't look like you're the size I like. Second, I'm supposed to screw _these _idiots, not the ones I work with."

"Well then!" The bartender snapped, "I don't think I'll even get you a water now, you gay whore!"

"Thank you." Luigi smiled, although his eyes still showed anger. "I know that I'm a –"

Luigi jumped when someone slammed some bills on the counter, hand on Luigi's shoulder while they demanded a beer from the bartender. Said man behind the counter eyed the newcomer before hurriedly dashing away.

Ready to continue with his job, Luigi turned to look at the man with his flirt mode in full swing. "Well mister, you've got some guts doing –"

Luigi was suddenly shock still, heart beating so hard it began to hurt and adrenaline burning his veins. He swallowed once he made eye contact with this man, wondering what convinced him to come here of all other places he could've gone.

The bartender set a beer down, glaring at the other before storming away. After he did, the beer bottle was snatched up and shoved into Luigi's hands, the arm stick slim and as bony as could be.

"Fancy seeing you here, Luigi," Waluigi growled, pulling Luigi a little bit closer to him. "I'm surprised that you're even in this outfit. When did you start working here?"

"W-W-W-Waluigi?" That was the only thing Luigi could manage.

The other male gave a short laugh before looking away towards another man in the bar, who must've been shooting hungry eyes at Luigi. "What?" he snapped.

"W-why – what are you doing here?" Luigi asked in a squeak.

Waluigi returned his attention to the shorter, "I'm a regular here on Wednesdays."

Luigi's eyes widened, "T-then what are you doing here on a Saturday?"

"I got a call from a friend of mine who comes here that there was this beastly dancer. Came to see who it was, but I didn't expect it to be _you,_ Eyeballs," Waluigi's smile didn't falter as his hand slowly followed the curve of Luigi's back down to the top of his pants, "You're rocking this outfit, by the way."

"D-d-damn it! Don't touch me like that!" Luigi wriggled his way out of Waluigi's grasp, still holding onto the beer that had been purchased for him. "I don't know what's making you talk like this tonight, but I really hope you're not being serious!"

Waluigi squinted back at him, "Surprised that someone knows your secret now?"

Luigi stopped breathing, most likely stopping his heart as well. "S-secret? This isn't a secret! Mario knows!"

"Nuh-uh, your eyes are widening, I can tell you're lying." Waluigi replied calmly, "Besides, if Mario did know about this, I highly doubt that he'd let you keep on."

Luigi's mouth opened and closed, as if he had been trying to figure out something to say back, but could come up with nothing. Finally, he sighed, "Please, don't tell anyone."

Waluigi could be seen smirking as he replied, "Why would I? Seeing you like that, I just might have a newfound liking towards you."

Red painted Luigi's cheeks flawlessly, "O-only because I'm wearing this!"

"And I might not ever see you normally ever again." Waluigi nodded at the beer, "You gonna drink that?"

Luigi looked down at said beverage, "Uh… sure… thanks…" he looked back up, swallowing as he remembered his job, "So, do you want me to dance a little more for you? Maybe go home with you when the bar closes?"

Waluigi's eyes seemed to fog up with lust as he replied, "How soon can you leave?"

* * *

><p><strong>**I don't know.**<strong>


	15. Not Now

****Luigi is so cute in Mario Kart Wii. I mean, his cuteness factor is just _way. Too. Extreme. _He's cuter then his little baby self – wait, I take that back – they're both head asplodingly adorable. Why am I saying that? I have no clue. ****

**oOo**

The Grand Prix was over, just as soon as it had started.

Luigi had the same amount of confidence that he was going to win just as he did for the same race last year, and the year before that. Half of the time he was right – he did win – other times he lost it to characters he was sure he could've smoked.

This year Luigi did it – he won the Special Cup. Now all that needed to happen was the award ceremony, and then tomorrow was the ceremony for who won the entire Grand Prix – point totals from the past 16 races added together.

But with grime from racing all over his face, Luigi didn't want to go stand in front of a cheering crowd and the losing characters unless he was clean. Thus, Waluigi's search for the shorter male landed him in the men's room of Luigi's Circuit – seeing him splashing water all over his face and using up all the hand drying paper towels.

Luigi didn't hear the door squeak open and Waluigi muttering – because if he did he would've dropped what he was doing and acted like the sink was broken. He kept wetting his face, looking up at his reflection every so often while narrowing his eyes, getting soap from the dispenser and once again making a clean mess.

At first, Waluigi was going to scare Luigi by pinching his hips as hard as he could. Upon seeing Luigi's hurried washing, however, the taller male just had to stand back, leaning against a beat up bathroom stall while watching in amusement.

"Stupid roads, never being clean even after a rainstorm. I hate the engines, the exhaust, the gasoline," Luigi growled as he rinsed his face for the umpteenth time before looking up again. "Took me thirty minutes just to get it all off."

"Luigi, Luigi, such a _girl_ about your looks." Waluigi sung, cackling at the reaction of Luigi spinning around. "Do you need me to get your make-up bag so you can re-apply mascara and your foundation and whatever make-up you like?"

With red painting his cheeks, Luigi immediately spat back, "Says the man who wears _blue_ eyeliner!"

Waluigi stuttered as he began to defend himself. "T-that's from lack of sleep – I – I'm an insomniac!"

"Whatever, you wear eyeliner!" Luigi pointed at him, anger starting to rise.

"OK, OK, relax, re-lax!" Waluigi knelt down and placed his hands on either side of Luigi's head, holding it still while he continued to speak, "You're still such a pretty little man, yes, pretty~!"

"Shtop it!" Luigi pulled Waluigi's hands away before he leaned in and spoke quietly, "I don't want someone walking in and seeing us."

"They're not; they're getting ready for the ceremony." Waluigi leaned in as well, kissing Luigi's cheek lightly, "No one is going to know."

"Until Mario hears about this." Luigi snapped, "Then he'll tell Peach, who'll tell Daisy, who'll tell Toadette, who will tell Toad, who will tell Toadsworth, who will be overheard by some other toads during tea, and then the entire kingdom will know!"

"You're just making it up," Waluigi rested his forehead against Luigi's, smiling. "Besides, if anyone did find out, they'd probably have to go through me before they tell anyone else."

"Huh," Luigi let go of Waluigi's hands to pull said character closer to him, "You can try."

"Try? There is no try," Waluigi copied Luigi's action, as if they were in a crowded room trying to stay small instead of just hugging each other in the bathroom, "There is only a do. Or something along those lines."

Luigi scoffed, moving his head to where he could snuggle into the crook of Waluigi's neck, "You're a nut."

"I like nuts, especially when they're yours."

"H-hush…"

"So," Waluigi breathed, hand slowly starting to trail down Luigi's back. "Are we going to get somewhere today? Or do you want to wait until this evening?"

"Hm?" Luigi slouched a little, "Why do you want to get to get somewhere? Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"Ah, but you won. Can't we…" Waluigi's hand found its way to Luigi's ass, groping and massaging it, "…celebrate, my dear?"

"N-not – unh – not now! T-the ceremony, w-we might be late for it if we – if we –"

"Just a quickie, Luigi." Waluigi chuckled, squeezing his grip a little tighter. "You'd be walking out with a glow that just screams you've just been pleasured."

"A-ah…" Luigi leaned into Waluigi a little, "…n-no thank you, Waluigi, I – I can wait…"

"The ceremony isn't for another thirty minutes," Waluigi whispered, his hand now sliding around to the front of Luigi's torso, "You don't need longer to get all prepped up, do you?"

"A-actually, I wanted to talk to my brother and see where he was in – p-points – ah!" Luigi brought his head up out of the crook of Waluigi's neck, arm that was wrapped around his torso now in a position to where he was tightly grabbing Waluigi's shoulder. "I-_idiota_, get your hand away from there!" he hissed.

"You say no, but your body says go." Waluigi smirked, hand fondling a now obvious bulge in Luigi's overalls, enjoying the others sudden grabs at his clothes. "You're sending me mixed signals, _Mon Cher_."

"S-stop the French…unh!" Luigi's knees gave out a little below him, hanging onto Waluigi for support, "…you bastard…"

"See, my hands are useful for much more than making bomb-ombs and fixing your engine for you." Waluigi smiled, "By the way, you're completely red faced."

Luigi took a deep breath before he growled, "W-why are you even – hm – s-stop that!" the shorter of the two began clawing at the taller's back, ignoring the hungry stare he was getting and wishing that the hand squeezing at his crotch would stop already.

"Stop? Why would I want to stop?" Waluigi grinned as he continued to fumble. "You're so cute when you're flustered, and when I'm making you…" he gave Luigi's crotch a light slap, enjoying the gasp he got in return, "… horny."

"I – I said to stop it…you're not being – _Waluigi_!" Luigi managed to stumble away, ignoring the heat rushing to his face and the disappointment of not being fondled anymore. "Not right now, I want to talk to Mario."

"Mario, he's not your complete and total –"

"Blah, blah, blah." Luigi interrupted, "Waluigi, I don't want to do anything right now. If you really wanted to go talk to someone for something really important, would you want me trying to give you a hand job?"

"Not really, but I'd let you give me one anyway – due to sudden urge to pleasure me." Waluigi growled, standing back up. "Since you seem so _eager_ to talk to Mario, I'll just leave."

"Fine, you –" Luigi stopped Waluigi threw the door to the bathroom open and marching away, leaving said male to stand there and watch as the door slowly closed. "Hmph. Someone's on their man period."

Luigi returned to the sink, seeing his red blush in place of the dirt and grime on his face. He tapped his fingers against the sink, thinking about what Waluigi spat at him.

A smile slowly started to crawl across his face. He knew what to do now.

* * *

><p><strong>Probaby going to be continued next chapter.<strong>


	16. Backwards Clock Love

****This is a really, really short one. I don't know why I wrote it, but I wrote it very late the day before a huge math assignment was do. I could've been doing that instead, but screw radical fractions : ). More WalGi, enjoy! ****

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><p>The sun was setting, the air was warm, and the fields were open and bare - save the two of them and a large tree that they were sitting under.<br>"It feels nice, to escape the city and its prying eyes." One said, mindlessly wrapping his arm around the other.  
>"Agreed," the other said, "I enjoy this peace and quiet."<br>The couple remained silent for another hour, the sun chased away by stars that began laughing at it in the sky.  
>"L-Luigi," one began, turning towards said other and swallowing nervously, "I - I want to ask you something."<br>Luigi's eyes didn't move from the sky, "What is it?"  
>"Well, um, we've been going out for a while now..."<br>"Yes."  
>"...it's gotten to the point where I can't stand being separated from you every night."<br>Luigi gave a small laugh before staring at the grass, "Waluigi, you're asking me to move in, aren't you?"  
>The taller seemed baffled by Luigi's quickly gain idea, but continued on smoothly, "In a sense..." he sighed, pulling up some grass in aggravation, "...Luigi." He finally reached over, pulling the head of the other so they could face each other.<br>_"Will you..."_  
>oOo<br>"...go on a date? W-with me?"  
>A tall, red-headed teenage boy leaned against the wall of a high school, glaring at the shorter before replying, "Are you high?"<br>An embarrassed blush covered the brown haired boy's face instantly, "N-n-no! I - I just..."  
>"Listen, Eyeballs, I'm glad for the offer but I don't think I'll take it right now - because this is our last week of high school and I don't want to leave everyone thinking I'm curved."<br>"I - I was just asking..." the shorter looked down, kicking the gravel disappointedly, "...I- I sorta had this crush on you for a while now..."  
>Silence.<br>"Luigi?"  
>"Y-Y-yes?"<br>Waluigi brought his head up so they were face to face, smiling as he said, "Saturday good?"  
><em>"Y-yea! That's a perfect day! We could..."<em>  
><em>oOo<em>  
><em>"...play house!"<em>  
>A young, eight year old boy frowned at a girl a year younger than him, "But Daisy, I don't like that game..."<br>The red-haired, orange dressed girl crossed her arms and stuck her bottom lip out, "But I wanna play it!"  
>"Sorry," Luigi sighed, "I don't like to-"<br>"Hey, Waluigi! 'Mere!" Daisy yelled across the yard to a ten year old, frowning at the grass before looking up to see who called for him. He soon got up and walked over, crossing his arms and acting intimidating.  
>"What do you want?" he snapped when he got closer.<br>Daisy smiled, "Luigi won't play with me, so I'm asking you to make him."  
>Waluigi snorted, "Yeah?" he looked at Luigi, heart speeding up the slightest bit, "He's not gonna play unless you get something he likes in there."<br>"Fine!" Daisy spat before her eyes lit up with an idea, "I know! Why don't _you_ play with us? And you and Luigi are the husband and wife?"  
>Luigi blinked at her, "Wait, two boys can be like our parents?"<br>Daisy nodded while Waluigi grimaced at her in disgust. Why today, of all days, when his best friend decided he was going to crack down and beat up a boy who liked guys?  
>"No thanks," Waluigi began walking away, "I'm fine."<br>"What are you, a baby?" Daisy called after him.

"Nope, just don't feel like it!" Waluigi replied while plopping back down on the grass.

"Fine, sit there and be bored to death!" Daisy spat back, slowly turning back to Luigi, "You're going to play with me now, right?"

_"Uh…"_  
><em>oOo<em>  
><em>"…yes, I will..."<em> Luigi's eyes were wide with joy and anticipation.  
>Waluigi could only smile back down at him, glad he agreed to the task. "So, when do you want this wedding?"<br>With an embrace surrounding him, Luigi giggled before he replied, "Saturday."  
>"Alright. Who do you want to invite?"<br>"Daisy," the name didn't even take any thought, "She'd be happy to see us getting married."  
>Waluigi began laughing, "She's not gonna be our maid, is she?" he stopped to ask.<br>Luigi shook his head, "No, she'll be fine not seeing us make-out every day."  
>After that sentence, an orange dressed princess silently back away from the tree, heart still pounding from excitement and now having a dire reason to go home and call some people.<p> 


	17. Knock The Daylights Outta Me

****Trying to be Mature. ****

Waluigi had dragged him upstairs and had started to get them both tipsy within the hour. Luigi didn't mind though, he was bored, fratello was out, and Waluigi certainly had interesting things planned for tonight.

"Y'know." Waluigi slammed the bottle of wine he was drinking down on the floor, "We should dare each other."

"Dare?" Luigi pulled his wine glass away from his mouth. "Like Truth or Dare?"

Waluigi nodded, laughing, "Hurry up and empty a bottle."

Luigi only set down an empty bottle he had already, nodding at it. "Spin it." He said.

The taller complied, taking the bottle and spinning it furiously on the floor. "Whoa, slow down!" he said after watching it.

When the bottle came to a halt, it stopped pointing at Waluigi. He held his arms out as he said, "Dare me."

"Alright." Luigi giggled, immature thoughts entering his head, "Take off your shirt."

"Ugh, you're a pansy." Waluigi started to do the task anyway, Luigi was so glad he was just wearing his jeans today. Waiting for him to undo overall straps would be hard for him. Satisfied with seeing the taller throw his shirt to the side and his chest showing (wait, were those – was that a forming six pack? Luigi had to be drunk), Luigi reached forward and grabbed the bottle.

"You didn't spin it right." Waluigi commented as Luigi let the bottle go into a crazy spin.

"I don't care." Luigi watched as the bottle slowed down, aiming at himself.

With a laugh, the taller made the comment about the spinning pattern, then asking for a truth or dare.

Luigi felt brave. Grinning he said, "Dare."

Waluigi seemed to think as he rubbed his bare arm against the floor. "You take _your_ shirt off."

"Alright." As long as he was stripping in front of Waluigi he'd be happy.

Waluigi then took his turn, bottle ending up back on Luigi. With a giggle, Luigi took a sip of wine as he said, "Dare me."

"Hmm hmm!" Waluigi smiled deviously as he said, "Take off your pants, darling."

Luigi gave an airy laugh, setting his glass down next to him as he said, "You just want to see my underwear."

"Maybe."

Giggles escaped the shorter as he undid his jean button and zipper, going slow so he'd tease the taller. He looked over and smiled, enjoying that hungry look he was getting as he slid his jeans down slowly. Waluigi seemed to mutter something like, "Hurry up."

"Patience is a virtue." Luigi laughed, pulling his jeans down further – to his knees before he remembered that _what he really wanted to be seen in was in the drawer_.

Finally, Luigi kicked his jeans to the other side of the room, rolling onto his side and laying there with his legs open. "This OK?"

Waluigi's pants started to have a bulge in them. He just looked down at the bottle and muttered, "Spin it…"

Reaching forward, Luigi said "Oh, you know you like it."

The bottle spun again, the end pointing at Waluigi's arm – which was still technically Waluigi. He sat up and grinned, "Dare."

"Your pants look kinda tight." Luigi purred, "Take them off."

Waluigi's eyebrows rose as he started to reach for the button, "You really wanna see this?"

"Just your boxers." Luigi smiled.

Waluigi yanked the zipper on his jeans down before cocking his head, "Y'know, I could tease you like you teased me…"

_Oh don't._ Luigi thought.

"…but I won't." Waluigi started to chuck the clothing off, throwing it over his shoulder and laying there in his own boxers. "My turn." He sang.

Luigi took another sip of wine, waiting for the bottle to stop spinning – thinking about his next dare. No truths, just dares. Maybe Waluigi would make him take his boxers off? He was actually kind of expecting that. Maybe he'd get Waluigi to do something nasty to him – ugh, he felt like such a gay slut right now! He didn't know what he wanted now…

"Hey, truth or dare?" Waluigi snapped Luigi out of his daydream.

"Oh! Dare me!" Luigi yelled, still not certain he was ready for it.

Waluigi's devious smile returned, "How'd I know?" he winked, "Mind letting me see what other underwear you got?"

Luigi felt himself turn red, "Go ahead." He started to chug the rest of his wine.

Waluigi was already up and going through the drawers before Luigi could finish the glass, and made a sound when he was pouring a refill.

"I dare you…" Waluigi turned from the dresser, holding (_Oh shit he found it._) some of Luigi's more mature undergarments, "…to put this on for me."

"In front of you?"

"That'd ruin the fun." Waluigi whined.

"Fine, gimme." Luigi got up, snatching the garment from the taller and marching to the bathroom.

_**oOo**_

Luigi was suddenly much sober.

He was standing in front of the mirror, seeing that – yes, this fancy, gay sluttish clothing fit him well. Daisy knew his clothes size like the back of her hand.

For some reason, Daisy thought that dark green, tight pants (which, surely made Luigi's ass feel big) with the thighs cut out and elastic straps connecting the bottom part to the top was defiantly Luigi's style. He felt the straps were elastic for a reason, someone to pull them and make them snap back. Along with that, Daisy had shoes attached to the bottom, so he wasn't in socks anymore. Luigi actually looked taller wearing this.

A couple of inches less Waluigi would have to kneel to kiss him.

Luigi smacked himself, getting those thoughts out of his head. Yes, the wine was still in his system. He looked at himself in the mirror, running a hand up his thigh and around his ass. _Oh boy, I'd fuck myself._ He thought.

"Luigi! You bailing out on the dare?" Waluigi knocked and called.

"Hang on!" Luigi ran his other hand on the other side, getting a feel for this clothing. "I'm making sure I'm comfortable…"

"I'm just gonna rip it off soon." He heard Waluigi mutter.

Luigi stiffened and his heart started to race. He watched as he face turned red, and he grabbed his thighs.

Oh, so Waluigi wanted sex?

The wine started to take over again, Luigi gave his reflection a glare and he mouthed, "Fuck the daylights outta me then."

* * *

><p>** <strong>I don't know. I failed. <strong>**I. Can't. Do. It. Oirjgkldjf djfjdgadf gkjdgjfgkj! Shmeeeeehhhhh...**

**Another update for ya'll. Hope it's passable. Been busy as crap with school and babysitting that I don't wanna do and blablabla. ****


	18. Girlfriend

Waluigi seemed to be enjoying how much he was pissing me off right now. No, he wasn't stepping on me, nor was he being annoying.

He decided that he wanted to piss me off by showing off this girl he met the other day. I don't think he saw me seeing him kissing her cheek and giggling with her.

I bet he's doing it because I didn't get Daisy to date me yet, or some other random reason. So I went to Daisy's to try and work up the courage to ask her out on a date – just so I could show Waluigi that _I too am a man!_

At first, Daisy seemed to be questioning why I was there, asking me if I wasn't busy somewhere else. Thing number one that was awkward.

When I asked her why, she said that she heard I was helping set up some parade Peach was having for Valentine's Day. I scoffed, saying I'd much rather be lazy than set up a stupid parade.

Daisy bought it, and the next thing I knew we're in the park, and I'm making advances on her. Every single time I felt Waluigi and his girl nearby, I'd lean over and kiss Daisy's cheek, and surprisingly she giggled. I thought about kissing her throat, but I changed my mind. I don't want to look like I'm trying to make Waluigi jealous of not getting laid or whatever.

Then, I had to treat Daisy to dinner. Thing number two that was awkward. Because I only had fifty dollars in my wallet, and I was sure that wasn't enough to pay for a fancy place to eat. How would I get in with overalls on anyway?

I felt bad for explaining this to Daisy, hoping she wouldn't take this as a message of "If we go you gotta pay too". She laughed and pointed across the street to some normal restaurant, saying that was were she wanted to go.

Not an hour later, Daisy and I were giggling at our own table, talking about something that happened last year with Mario and Peach's evening out. As if on queue, right as we were getting to my favorite part, I saw Waluigi and his girlfriend at a table close to ours.

Ignoring them, I went on talking – but Daisy kept on looking at them, nudging her head towards them, and even coughed and flicked her wrist out at them.

I didn't know what she was hinting at, so I just acted like I didn't know about her gestures and kept talking.

Finally, it was time to go. I handed my money to Daisy and asked her if she would please-be-nice and go pay for me while I went to the bathroom. She seemed to brighten up, taking the money and saying she'd wait on me.

At first, I figured she didn't like the date. Maybe I was a jerk somehow? Maybe I didn't smell good? Maybe she didn't really like me?

I was staring at myself, thinking these questions, not using the mirror to look behind me or anything. So, I didn't realize Waluigi was in the bathroom with me until I felt bony arms wrap around my torso and heard him whisper, "Hello, Eyeballs."

Thing number three that was awkward.

I stiffened, grabbing the sides of the sink and being thankful that no one else was in the bathroom. Nervously, I spoke, "W-Waluigi?"

He just tightened his hug and nuzzled his face into the back of my neck.

"…what about your girlfriend?" I spat, not trying to sound jealous.

Waluigi chuckled, "What girlfriend?"

"That – that girl you just had dinner with!"

"Her? She's just a supervisor."

I growled, wiggling out of his hold and standing on the other side of the room, "Then how come you were smooching her, hm?"

Waluigi turned pale.

"Oh, you didn't know I saw? I saw alright, I saw you kissing her and shit like that. Trying to get some –"

"And yet you decide to go run and drag Daisy on a date?"

"Well, I figured if you were gonna play the Hey Look I Got a Date and You Don't game I may as well show you I wasn't playing!"

"Where'd you get that idea?"

I growled, "You know that I didn't have a girlfriend, right?"

"Yeah." Waluigi replied, "And I was hoping you weren't going to get one for a while."

"Oh, so you could be the only one of us with a GF?"

"No, so I could ask to be your boyfriend when I broke up with Walgina."

I stiffened, widening my eyes and straightening my arms. "W-what?"

"I broke up with Walgina a few minutes ago. She seemed cool about it, so I figured – hey, Luigi's here, why not go ahead and ask him out?"

I gave him a questioning look, "Why? W-why?"

He shrugged, "I dunno, just wanna give you a try. So, us together or no?"

I stared at him, "_No_."

"Aw, c'mon! I've been waiting for months now!"

I scoffed.

"Please Luigi?"

I shook my head.

"…please?"

"No thanks." I started to walk out, but Waluigi grabbed me before he could and dragged me into a stall.

Pinning me to the wall and making sure the door was locked, Waluigi giggled while pressing against me. "What if this changes your mind?"

"Waluigi –" and his sudden attack on my mouth started a heavy make-out session.

* * *

><p><strong>**Pft. Wat?<strong>

**Yes, I did take the Walgina idea from Stupid Mario Bros. on YouTube. *shotshotshot* **

**Also, I have another story I was gonna upload today, but I think it's controversial and overkilled... still want me to upload it?****


	19. Dreams

****This is one of those rated M parts. : I wrote this at one-o'clock in the morning. Squee! And… uh, heheh, why am I even uploading this? Oh yeah. Derp. **

**I don't use the exact words though, I give a picturesque feel to it. *coughcoughnop*niswordsforyoucough****

* * *

><p>"Uh- Uh - uhhhhhhh - ah!" Luigi's whimpers quickly traveled from his mouth, eyebrows curving in time with his eyes closing in embarrassed bliss.<p>

Waluigi could only look on with wide eyes, starting to water from the pleasure of his release slowly fading away.

"Hnn, gna..." Luigi's sweat covered face was dusted with red across the cheeks, along with white liquid dribbled on across. How it dripped down the corner of his mouth, the way his tongue poked out to lick and swallow as much as he could.

Waluigi had to grab the arm of the chair firmly just to keep from shoving Luigi's head back down, quickly getting excited just from the sounds that were escaping the other's throat.

Yet, he returned on his own, looking back at Waluigi while he took everything into his mouth slowly, still with some white on his face but not taking away any attractiveness.

"Ah, mon dieu!" Waluigi's eyes screwed shut, tight fists almost snapping the chair arm in two.

Luigi seemed to chuckle before he resumed the torture, slowly bringing his head up while tickling after with his tongue, twisting it around the top slower than what should be humanly possible.

Shame he couldn't last much longer, once again letting it fly along with a deep, pleasured groan coming through his teeth.

Of course, Luigi let the mess cover his face again, giving a small squeal of excitement before bringing his hand up to his face, "Ti è piaciuto che?" he whispered, bringing stray liquid from the side of his face to his mouth with a finger.

"O-oui!" Waluigi managed, "Oui, mon chér!"

Luigi giggled, his other hand slowly pumping what provided his current delicacy, "Perché non darmi qualche altro, allora?"

"Hng - Nya - T-tout ce que vous voulez, me forcer si vous avez à prendre..."

Luigi gave a devious smile before replying, "Vuoi ancora un po?"

"Oui, dammit!" Waluigi's head fell backwards, his eyes closing once again from the sting of an unattended need.

"Waluigi?"

"Hng!"

"Waluigi!"

"Hmmh!"

A smack over his head suddenly woke him up, "Walugi! Ho fatto una domanda! Qualsiasi altra cosa volete?"

"H-huh?" Waluigi squinted, the sunlight surrounding the porch he fell asleep on blinding him, outlining the wonderful figure of the man he'd been dreaming about.

"Since you can't seem to understand Italian, I'll say it in English," The ever adorable, heavy accented voice spat, "Do you want anything else?"

Waluigi took no more time waking up, the nasty taste of drool in his mouth and the uncomfortable feeling of wet pants forcing him to sit up, "Oh! Uh, n-no thanks!" he managed, finally looking up at Luigi's face, "I'm good."

With a smile that was the same in the dream, Luigi replied, "Alright. Oh, and don't sleep on that table, that's mahogany and I don't want anything bad to happen to it."

Oh, I think you're a little late on that, Waluigi thought as he pressed his thighs together, eye slightly twitching at the squishy, wet feeling of wet dreams.

Luigi sat down across from him, vanilla ice cream tub thrown onto the table, "It's so hot out here, it's a wonder the house isn't on fire." He commented, cheeks red from the heat.

Waluigi nodded, trying to keep another erection from forming, "Y-yup, I wonder that too."

Luigi brought a spoon of vanilla to his mouth, prepared to eat it before jumping at the sound of a bumblebee, melted ice cream flying into his face just like in the dream. Flustered, and not one to waste anything such as ice cream, he began to clean up by bringing everything to his mouth with a finger.

Waluigi tried to control his breathing, but his pants were getting tighter and his heart was racing.

He just had to make that sound, "Hnnnguh..."

Waluigi sucked in a quick breath before he held it, eyes clenching shut thighs squeezing together as he came for the third time. His hands, which he used to prop up his head, were now propping up his forehead as he tried to hide a blush, but even they were making fists.

Although the warmth that spread through his body was a wonderful sensation, it was just as embarrassing to be doing it right next to the man he had fantasies about.

"Waluigi?" Luigi's innocent voice broke a silence which had overcome them afterwards, "Stai bene?"

"O-Oui! S-something just bit me, that's all..." the taller replied while releasing his breath.

He could hear Luigi's devious giggle as he set down his ice cream, "Looks like someone's enjoying themselves over there."

Waluigi's eyes flew open and his head shot up to look at Luigi, quickly processing the half-lidded eyes, suggestive smirk, and the raised eyebrows as a sign he was busted. He couldn't speak; all he could do was sit there.

Luigi sighed, "It's not fair, you're having all the fun."

"W-what fun?" Waluigi asked. Oh, his organ was reacting to everything today! When would it stop?

With another giggle, Luigi slowly began to disappear below the table, "Qui, mi permetta di ottenere che."

"What - what're you - L - Luigi - don't - I - I - n- non! Non! Laisser mon pantalon - ! Ah! Aih! Aih! Nyahhhhhh!"

* * *

><p><strong>*So? I think I made Waluigi a bit too uke at the end, but I don't care. It's cute!<strong>

**As for the Italian and French… don't ask. They're both really sexy languages. I had to! Of course, I used my iPod's translator (I wrote this on my iPod's WriteApp, best thing ever!) so some things may not be correct. However, corrections are welcome, if you know the language well.**

**If you hated this chapter… wait, why are you reading this far? Meh. I said it was bound to come sooner or later. **

**Anyway, bye! ****


	20. Watching

He was not moving.

Not a smidge.

He was never going to move, ever, even it meant his life would be taken.

It was just fine with him, as long as he didn't lose sight of them.

Ah, perfect couple, perfect house, perfect family, perfect Luigi and Daisy. Always kissing when they the chance, Luigi always taking cookies his wife brought home, Daisy usually forcing her husband to watch some cheesy show with her -

Perfect.

Just, freaking, perfect.

Waluigi didn't mind though, there was always a window that never got covered up.

The bathroom window.

He would always look down and see who was in there at the time - and to see how the mood of the house was. He hated when Daisy was in the bathroom for nineteen years, but when Luigi was in there he wished he would stay there for a long time.

Luigi was perfect - his face couldn't be carved better, his body couldn't raise anymore erections, and his voice couldn't sound any more heavenly.

Daisy, on the other hand, was an obnoxious nuisance. She was a female, which didn't appease Waluigi at all; she was very loud and very demanding.

He wanted to save Luigi from that hell, but how could he without being labeled as a stalker?

From his room - which had a sheet covering the windows at all times so he wouldn't be seen - he had taken many notes and pictures of Luigi to the point where he carved a foot tall figure of the man out of wood. The pictures of him on the walls where disturbing, showing him stripping for the shower or walking down the street with a close up of his rear end.

He even had toys which he used for his fantasies of intercourse with Luigi, eyes closed and smiling like crazy with a picture of a flustered, scared, needy, willing Luigi flashing across his mind - causing the furious use of the toys.

A lot of time went by before Waluigi began a new project - one of getting his man to come into his house just to have the satisfaction of fucking him.

But how? How could he even go about introducing himself? "Hello, my name is Waluigi and I've been creeping about your life for a long time now, please may I invite you to my house for a round of harsh sex and alcohol one evening while your wife is out?"

Surely, some day, he'd figure out how to get Luigi in his grasp, in his bed, for his love.

But until then, he sat there with his countless photos, drawings, carvings, and poems, watching Luigi as he undressed in his bathroom daily.

**** As of right now I have 69 stories :l So here's a chapter about Waluigi being a creep. ****


	21. Arrest Me Officer

****Oh my gosh I watch too much truTV. ****

_Frustration could settle in and stay for the night._

Luigi was glad that he had stepped up from plumber to police officer, after hearing all the bull going on in the Mushroom City. Two weeks on the job and he had already booked in a few drunk drivers and two people fighting over a game in a bar.

Now it was _this_, and he certainly wasn't ready to deal with it.

Luigi had caught a speeder going into the city late this evening on his way home, so he figured he'd go ahead and take care of this idiot. But when he got the guy to pull over and walked up to the window, things quickly became awkward and shaky.

With a sigh, Luigi began, "Evening, what seems to be your – hack!" he leaned against the car for a moment, confused as to what just happened. Looking away to get some fresher air, Luigi took a deep breath and tightened his hands.

The driver could be heard slamming his head against the back seat, "Damn it, I told you!"

A weird mumbling replied.

Luigi looked back, "That smell of alcohol is really…" he coughed, "…strong."

"I know, I know, he's been drinking since yesterday." The driver responded, looking at the roof.

"Well if he's not feeling good you should have called an ambulance." Luigi grabbed his radio, knowing _this_ was going to take a while, "Maria, I need an ambulance at my location, heavy drinker."

The passenger groaned before throwing the car door open to spew all over the side of the road, the driver eyeing him as if he wanted to murder him.

Luigi coughed to grab his attention, "Its coming. Meanwhile, let me see your –"

The driver shoved his license into Luigi's face, muttering something and tightly grabbing the steering wheel.

"…right, thanks." Luigi replied, "Don't drive off."

"I know better."

Scoffing, Luigi went back to the patrol car to run the information, only looking up after a good twenty minutes to idly watch the paramedics heave the passenger into the ambulance, stopping to let him puke twice.

One of the people had to talk to Luigi, so he stopped what he was doing to do whatnot. Saw speeder, guy wasn't feeling good. What else was there to talk about?

After the roadside drama and the ambulance leaving, Luigi finished running the driver's license. He tensed up whenever he saw that this guy had been arrested before, twice for bar fights and everything else for D.U.I. Every time, he was bailed out, must've been his passenger that done all of that.

"Oh boy…" Luigi muttered, "…better, go give this back."

Returning to the car, Luigi held the license out, "Scary record you got there…"

The driver just kept staring forward, smugly smiling and grabbing the license. "You might wanna test me for alcohol."

"W-what?" Luigi blinked.

"Make sure I'm not too drunk to drive officer." The driver eyed Luigi, "I've been drinking."

Luigi sighed, wishing he didn't see this car at all. He just wanted to get home, talk to his brother and stuff like that. "Step out please," He grabbed his side, "While I go grab my breathalyzer."

The driver was surprisingly cooperative, and was leaning against the car when Luigi returned, quickly intimidating the officer with this height, and the way his eyes stared at him…

"Um, mind, lowering yourself?"

"What happened to walk on the line?"

"Let's be honest, I really want to go home." Luigi stood there, "Let's go."

"Can we just say I'm over the limit?"

"No. C'mon. I want to go home." Luigi held the breathalyzer up, "Here, won't have to bend down as far."

The driver sighed; "I'm telling you…" he knelt down, stopping at the tube to blow in. He sighed, "I don't want to."

"If you're looking to be arrested, I can for your ignorance." Luigi snapped, hoping the car camera wasn't working.

The driver seemed to smile, "Fine." He held his arms out.

Luigi snatched the handcuffs from his side belt, letting the breathalyzer fall onto the ground while arresting the driver. "Jackass." He muttered.

It wasn't five minutes later; Luigi was driving back to the station while desperately trying to ignore the other man's comments about him. Not comments about how he did his job, not comments about anything related to being a police officer at all!

"Did you hear me?" he man said again, "Honestly. Your eyes. Do women let you arrest them when they look into your eyes?"

Luigi coughed, wishing he could go just five miles faster.

"By the way, watched you walk back to your car out of my car side mirror when you first pulled me over." The man gave a small laugh, "Boy, you look more like a gay model."

"Shut up." Luigi mumbled. "I'll make sure you don't get out on bond this arrest."

The man scoffed, "Why don't you call me by my name, hm? You saw my license, didn't you?"

"Sir, hush."

"C'mon officer, I'm desperate!" The man whined, "You're good looking, just let me do something to you!"

Luigi growled, tightening his grip on the steering wheel and pulling to the side of the road, "I've had it. I'm kicking you out here." He looked at the camera. Off.

The man sighed, "Fine. I'll go somewhere else for a fuck."

"Good idea." Luigi got out of the car, opening the backseat door and working off the handcuffs. "But don't get to hasty there."

"Uh huh."

Luigi stepped to the side, putting his handcuffs back on his belt, "Go." He said, noting that the man was still in his backseat.

"Hang on, I dropped something…" he reached for the other side of the car, Luigi stepping closer in curiosity.

"Sir, you can't – hey!" Luigi shouted as the man bounced up and grabbed him, yanking him into the backseat and closing the door with his arm that wasn't holding onto the officer's collar.

Pinned to the seat, the driver on top of his laughing in victory, Luigi felt humiliated. "Officer." The man started, "Is it possible for me to be arrested for…" he brought his face closer to Luigi's, "…over-the-top lust?"

Luigi scoffed, "You can get arrested for harassing a policeman."

"But what if I'm doing him a favor? I'm sure those long days of dealing with drunks and criminals surely give him a migraine by the end of the day."

"That's what wine is for." Luigi blinked before mentally slapping himself for saying that.

The man seemed to get excited, "Oh, a wine drinker huh?"

Luigi narrowed his eyes, "Sir, what do you want?"

"Well," The driver rested his forehead against Luigi's, "This…" he said before quickly kissing the officer, "…and maybe a bedroom."

Luigi never felt so uncomfortable before, the tone the man used made Luigi feel like his pants suddenly shrunk a size.

"But, since that might take to long, this will have to do."

Oh joy.


	22. Snow

****A drabble that I felt didn't deserve to be made into its own story. Typed while listening to Eternal Force Blizzard ver. Namine Ritsu. So preeeeetyyyyyyy... ****

* * *

><p>Snow - at least knee high, with more falling - covered the entire kingdom one winter. Kids were playing in it at ten o' clock at night, ignoring their parents' weak cries for them to come home.<p>

Away from the town, there was a forest whose paths would've taken a Toad to where Goombas or Koopas resided. Yet, nobody dare step off the paths out of fear that they would've gotten lost.

Families stared out their windows at the sight of two figures, running to a line of trees of this forest - not following a path, but making their own. One was the tallest man in town, therefore the snow didn't have any effect on his speed as he ran, pulling along the shorter figure which most people mistook for the legendary Mario at first glance, before realizing it was his brother.

"Where on earth are those two going?"

"They're gonna freeze."

"They're laughing, you hear that?"

Yes, laughter was pouring from the vocals of Waluigi and Luigi as they sped away from the town, scarves and coats flying out behind them as if they were wings ready for takeoff. They left behind snow boot tracks that were messily perfect - you could see where both of them stumbled, slowed down, or sped up to their location.

What were they laughing about? Even they didn't know, maybe it was the fact that their breath could be seen, or the fact that Luigi's face was turning red from just having his hand held by the taller.

Finally, the two reached a clearing in the woods, far enough away from the town and just in time for the moon to shine down upon them, the last bits of snow falling from tree branches.

With a devious glint in his eye, Waluigi yanked Luigi forward into an insane waltz around the clearing, dragging his partner most of the time. His lengthy legs had them lapping the clearing at a high speed, and with the added twirling the shorter became dizzy.

"Waluigi, stop!" Luigi laughed, trying not to be picked up or dragged along.

"Not until I'm dizzy!" Waluigi lifted him up anyway, his waltz carrying them to the middle of the clearing. There, they fell into the scintillating snow, Luigi on bottom with Waluigi holding himself up above him.

The moonlight was aimed perfectly. As soon as Luigi managed to open his eyes from the sickly feeling, all he did was look up into his partner's eyes.

Waluigi stopped breathing for a moment, taking in the charm wholeheartedly.

Reflections of the sky blinked back at him, skin a calming shade of blue while rose increasingly began to cover cheeks. Brown hair flopped out from under his hat, which was lightly brushed with Waluigi's fingers.

"Damn it, why can't I love you enough?" Waluigi whispered, leaning down to the other's face.

He suddenly felt force on his shoulders, soon pushed onto the ground to his right, Luigi hovering over him with a playful smile. "You're so goofy!" the Italian giggled.

While he was looking up in a daze - wondering why he was suddenly dominated - Waluigi's reddish brown hair appeared mussed from where his hat had been on it all day (said object was lying on the ground next to them, knocked off from the force of the flip.) His own empty eyes, though not as glossy as Luigi's, gave a slight reflection of the tree branches above, reminding the younger Mario brother of his boyfriend's past, demented nature.

_'How I melted that cold heart, I'll never _know._' _Luigi thought as his smile never drifted, allowing Waluigi to sit up.

"You're strong," Waluigi replaced his hat on his head, "Getting there, maybe soon you'll be able to move that table of yours by yourself."

Luigi's face went from rose to crimson, "Hush," he whispered, "Don't make me think about house chores right now." he sat on Waluigi's legs, the taller barely wincing at the weight.

"Nice night to be out here, huh?" Waluigi pulled them together, rested his forehead against Luigi's.

"Minus the cold, yes." Luigi laughed slightly.

The devious smile returned to Waluigi's face, "Want me to warm you up?"

Luigi's eyes lit up, "Cuddling?" he asked childishly.

"Since that usually leads to more...interesting things, yes."

"Kiss first?"

"...ah, you're so adorable when you ask."

Pressing their lips together, the moon seemed to get brighter in the clearing, and the snow appeared to glisten even more - making the feeling even more cordial.


	23. Psychotic Love

_Darling, I do believe that heart of yours is mine._

Come now, don't run from me like you are - it's the truth.

We are meant to be, you and me. The two of us were inseparable when we were together, now you want to be as far away from ms as possible? Sweetheart, that is like man growing wings to fly to the moon.

If I can't be by your side at all times, then at least let me watch you at all times. This window that I'm watching you sleep through is quite inconvenient.

Ah? Your brother seems to want to kiss you goodnight. How sweet of him, as well as daring. Looks like someone is losing their sibling soon...

* * *

><p>Good day, <em>mi amore<em>, what has you troubled? Oh, that note on the table perfectly explains why your dearest brother is gone. What will you he doing today?

Seeing your new girlfriend? You seem like I wasn't worth crying over, as you were to me.

Oh, I hate how that red-head is holding your hand. Looks like there's gonna be a princess missing in the morning...

* * *

><p>Rise and shine, <em>Mon Cher,<em> why are you dialing your phone and redialing like you are? Ah, your lady not answering? So you're going to ask about her by seeing her cousin? Okay, to the castle we go.

Oh, she hugged you, did she? Seeing your look of concern and worry, she just had to earn herself a spot on my list tonight.

* * *

><p>I'm glad we are together in this forest, my love. You heard about three bodies found outback your house? I have nothing to do with them, but let's be honest here...<p>

Only I am allowed to kiss you.

Only I am allowed to hold your hand.

Only I am allowed to hug you.

And your heart is mine.

Why are you running again? I knew this would happen, so I came prepared with this knife, just in case.

I shall chase you down, pin you to the ground, and cut your beating heart straight from your chest and keep it locked within my house. Your body shall be preserved nicely, wrapped in plastic and hanging within a glass case on my walls.

Because, your_ love_ is mine.

Your _mind_ is mine.

Your _heart_ is mine.

_You are mine._

* * *

><p><strong><em><em>Psychotic Love Song version Ted Kasane. Go listen to it. Now. **


	24. Candies, Special for longtime readers!

****A story I started a long time ago, and was buried in the archives of my laptop for months. This was actually a plotless story with no intention of being uploaded, and this was also one of the first stories that began to form my current writing style. Of course, it's plotless, drabble-y, and pointless. It's…one of those stories that you sit down and start writing and then come back later and add onto what you feel like it needs. After reading over it, I decided to share it. It's long, and I mean _long_, but I'm too lazy to break it up into separate chapters. **

**I must warn that this chapter has a lot of mature themes in it that aren't pulled of so well… a lot of cussing from Luigi's part as well. As a matter of fact, Luigi in this entire story is kinda like a daze-er person that thinks a lot, and easily gets angered. Yeah. So… I hope you enjoy this _long_ story. If you stop reading halfway through, I don't blame you.**

**And remember, this crap is **_**old, ancient**_**. So if there are some things that seems off or stupid about it, it's from little kiddish me. ****

* * *

><p>Little assortments of different flavored candies could sit on a kitchen counter top can be ignored or eaten. Or, someone can blindly reach into the group and take one. There's the possibility of getting a flavor you like, or a flavor that reminds you of someone you hate.<p>

Like, Grape flavor.

Why not apple, to remind you of yourself? Or maybe a cherry flavor to remind you of Fratello? Or, how about watermelon to pick on fratello about his girlfriend? Or citrus-orange, that reminds you of...

Her.

That one princess that always has the orange-fling going. The one that makes green look and feel boastful.

Doing the same for fucking purple.

Of course not – well, OK, maybe orange has an effect on other colors, it's sassy and spunk-like, saying that the girl is very boastful.

Don't chew, just let it sit in your mouth and dissolve. Or, spit it out and grab green, so that way you can feel like you're not taking advantage over anyone. Just yourself.

Now, Fratello might come by and snatch up a handful, saying, "Don't let the pasta boil over. You're the one complaining about me cooking and burning crap all the time."

Of course, make _me_ stop what I was thinking and look at the pasta that is completely _fine_ Fratello!

Now... where's another apple flavor?

I mean, it's green, and I feel fine eating it. But... I always throw out the grape flavor. Why? It reminds me of my suck-ass cousin. Well, we call him a cousin, because our parents were related somehow – _damn_. Since when does pasta water boil over the top and get on the stove and scare me?

"Luigi?"

"I'm fine!"

"No your not. You're shaking. Something wrong?" How does fratello pop up over there all of a sudden?

"It scared me. What do you think is wrong?"

"You're thinking."

"And... that surprises you... how?"

"You're always focused on cooking."

"So?"

"Ahem. Luigi." How does he get behind me all of a sudden? I must turn around and ask. Why is he getting in my face –?

"Mari- mmph!"

Why does all of a sudden he feels like kissing me? Isn't this incest? Yeah, and he's pushing me against the counter and making out with me.

And why does he keep me from fixing the pasta!

* * *

><p>I think I'm gonna start throwing out the red ones. Yes, the red ones must go.<p>

They're gonna remind me to much of yesterday. I moved out, yes, that's how fast I got away.

It disturbed me... mainly how Mario looked at me whenever I shoved him away and ran up the stairs. Later on, he was apologizing, but talking about how nice it would be to kiss me again while he traced my face with his fingertips.

He scared me… I thought he liked Peach.

Nuh, the look in his eyes will always scare me...

I'm at my mansion – lovely greens and everything I could ask for – even a landscape that resembles Italy.

_Dear... I need to get security. _

My bowl of no red candies is sitting next to me as I'm cooking. No red, and hopefully no purples either. Maybe I should throw out the watermelons to – because they'd remind of me fratello's girlfriend – which will remind me of him.

Besides. Cherry has that sweet kind of taste to it, but it can also be sour. That's sometimes how Mario is. And watermelon is always sweet, but it leaves that aftertaste that makes you want more to get rid of it. That's how Peach is – after I first met her. Heck, she's _all over_ Mario. I guess she digs red clad plumbers.

Uh, maybe I shouldn't be in the kitchen. I mean – yes, the ghosts are still here. This mansion used to be haunted by them, until E. Gadd let them go again. I asked him to, and made deals with them.

What do they do? Scare me. Not that often though. Which is good, seeing as how if they _did_ they'd be back as a painting again.

_But not a single one of them warns me about the person lankily walking in the front doors. _

I bite down on my next piece of hard candy. It tastes weird... either it's a bad apple or a bad orange.

_They don't tell me he knows where I'm at._

I spit it out – oh fuck, its grape.

_They don't tell me he's silently walking through the dining room – although I'm sure Mr. Stuff-My-Face should be in there eating plates of cheese._

I throw the candy in the trash. OK, so I miss a candy occasionally. Oh great, now I smell alcohol –

"So, Luigi."

Oh, fuck my life. Waluigi could be the only one that makes grape taste nasty – because he's always snarling. I hate him – and he's right behind me! What's that poking at my back!

"Waluigi."

Oh, dear... alcohol radiating off of him...

"What! Hey, _idiota! _What the fuck are you doing?" Why is he grabbing me? Why is he pinning me on the floor? Is he so drunk that he's _raping me in my kitchen?_

Why? He's not even being careful! Oh my g-

_Pain!_

And he has that knife... he's holding it against my throat – of course he would, he wants to fuck and he's getting it. But – why _me_ of all people!

The ghosts could have helped!

Of course they come after he's done with me. Played with me and threw me like I was some girl who got a new doll and then decided it wasn't worth the fifty bucks her parents spent on it.

Waluigi makes it out drunkenly while Melody helps me to my feet. I'm hurting so bad...  
>_<p>

That's why I hate grape. It tastes nice up until you keep it still in your mouth for a while – then it gets nasty and you have to hurt your mouth muscles just to eat the damn thing.

That's how Waluigi is. He's nice up until he has something against you – which is the truth for any one who's lived here as long as we have. New people Waluigi either makes friends with or picks on and hurts them.

I always buy two bags of that hard candy and throw out all the colors that I hate – purple, pink, red.

Leaving it just orange and green. They're nice flavors and they don't leave behind a nasty aftertaste or make you have to move the damn thing.

Still sitting here in my mansion with _great _security, Waluigi tried to enter twice – both times sober. Mario wanted to come in, but after his show I won't let him.

I'm shut out from the world.

Occasionally Toad or Yoshi will show up, I'll let Peach in some days. All she wants to do over here talk. And I like talking to her – we talk about things I'm fine discussing. But some days I don't want to talk to her. Or anyone. So I tell my security guards to tell them that I'm out and that I'll be back Saturday or something like that.

Where am I? Out.

Out where? Out.

It's a funny word. But so is shut-in.

I got a cook for my kitchen, and my ghost friends leave him alone and avoid him at all costs. Even if that means they have to spook me. But they apologize and go on with life while I'm still stuck having to deal living with the dead.

Melody is my friend. She and I had some hard times when we first met, but now she's like my lifeline. Whenever that day Waluigi raped me in my kitchen comes around, she's right there and she always lets me vent about it. Whenever that day about Mario kissing me bites, she shows up and lets me cry.

I don't cry in front of anyone but her.

So, if there was a flavor for Melody that could explain her, it'd be something like strawberry. But they don't make those. They make gum like it, but not hard candy. Especially the brand that I like.

Great, nothing left but citrus. I think I'll enjoy the last apple and go get some more later.

"Luigi! Phone! For you!"

"Hang on!"

"Hurry up, it's Daisy!"

"D-Daisy?"

"Yes, darling."

I'm at my phone in no time flat, "H-hello?"

"Hey Luigi. I was wondering, would you mind coming over here and help me out?"

"With... what?"

"I'm learning Italian, but it's hard. This guy isn't a native speaker. You are, aren't you?"

"Um... y-y-yeah."

"Then come over here and help me!"

She's learning Italian.

I'm over at her place in a few minutes, and soon we are started.

She's already got the basics down and all, so I have to teach her how to say other things. Like, goodnight children. Why she asked me to go over that one first I will never know.

"Um... buttanote bambini..." Is that right? I have no sense of focus here!

"Really?"

"Yeah..." I don't know if I said it right myself. I can't remember my first language when I'm around her damn it!

Stay cool...

"Y'know, you talking in Italian's kinda hot..."

I gulp. What is she implying?

Oh.

Oh!

_Oh!_

The bastard I am!

"D-Daisy, uh... what if –" she's doing this to me like I've done it with her before. I'm still getting over being raped by Waluigi!

"Nothing's gonna happen." She hisses at me.

Can't she tell I'm shaking like crazy?

* * *

><p>I haven't been called over for Italian lessons since. Daisy must've thought I sucked. Although Italians are the best lovers there can ever be. Maybe French people are up there to.<p>

Screw my life.

I can hardly keep a relationship with a girl I like. Hell, I can hardly go outside without thinking that I need to stay huddled up in my mansion.

That's five times this week I've only taken a foot outside my door. I'm usually so happy to be in public, but now I'm not so sure...

Waluigi's there again, he's talking to my security guard. I can see it over the screen of the camera. I thought that twice he was gonna punch the man in the face, but that was more like a threat.

Y'know what? We're gonna see what he wants.

"Let him in. If he starts anything I'll call you."

The guard steps aside. At first Waluigi looks like he's gonna walk away, but then he shrugs and walks forward.

The bastard.

"Hey."

"What is it?"

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"Y-y'know."

"Oh, that." I'm waiting for Melody to appear out of no where and say something to him. Ha, that'd be nice to see, the look on Waluigi's face when a ghost pops up.

Our conversation is nothing but small talk. It's pissing me off.

"Look, either tell me what you want directly or get the hell out." I say, trying not to show how pissed I am.

Waluigi just stares at me. Staring at me like I'm gonna kill him with my bare hands.

"What?"

Stare.

"What?"

"Idiot."

"Damn -"

"No wonder I raped you."

"H-h-huh?

Yet again my mouth in conquered by another _male's. Male_.

I'm not gay, I hope they know that. Both Waluigi and Mario.

I'm gonna have to refuse him whenever he asks that question, but it's gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt him.

* * *

><p>Daisy's back in Sarasaland. No wonder she hasn't called.<p>

Waluigi keeps on trying to woo me; I keep on looking for some girl for him to hook up with.

Mario calls and calls, I'm not going back over there again. Ever.

Peach is here right now, visiting.

"Y'know Luigi, Mario is actually kind of... lonely without you there."

"Didn't you hear what happened?"

"What?" she gives the normal blonde look of confusion.

"He kissed me." I replied as if I was saying, 'He threw carrots at me.'

Peach's eyes widen.

"Don't hate me. He's the one who did it. Not me."

She only stays for another thirty minutes before she leaves. And when she does, my cameras show she ran to the kind of transport she hates – the pipe that leads to Mario's house that I somehow managed to use my plumbing skills to let people skinnier then Mario go through. Peach is skinnier then Mario, so she goes down the damn thing.

Oh yeah Mario, I told. And I'm gonna keep telling until I'm happy enough to go back into public.

* * *

><p>Melody is trying to get me some more candy, after I told her I didn't want to go out. Anywhere.<p>

She doesn't have to, I mean, I don't think they sell only bags of apple flavor and nothing else.

"Luigi?"

"Yes?"

"I just made a phone call, to the candy manufacturer. They said they'd make special deliveries for those who –"

She is just too sweet to me. I thank her and say that if she wasn't a ghost I'd hug her until her guts fell out.

She's a sweet girl now that I've apologized for being so rough with her and the vacuum I used to imprison her. Maybe it's just me, being Luigi.

The cute, little brother who always wears green. I think I'm cute.

That brings up a discussion between me and Melody later that evening.

"Melody?"

"Yes Luigi?"

"Am I cute?"

"…you mean guy cute or puppy cute?"

"Both."

"A definite yes for puppy cute, and people would have to stare at you for guy cute. Why?"

"I've been thinking…"

"Tell me."

"…if I get a little more self-confidence I think I might go out in public again."

"And look different?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm. Well, that sounds great. Grow your hair out a little, though." She hums, "Do some weightlifting to."

I laughed before holding up my hand, "No."  
>_<p>

I listened to Melody. I let my hair grow out a little – now it sticks out from under my hat, and Melody said it makes me look similar to a guy model – and I did some exercising. I hate to brag, but I've got a four pack forming. (Thanks to muscle man ghost, we're getting along to.)

I also went down in clothes sizes. It's… embarrassing to go out in public in overalls to big dammit!

…but that's what the internet if for! Just make sure that you put in the correct size…

My first public debut was today, strolling down those streets like I used to was nostalgic to me. Huh, I even got some girls to coo over me.

I visited my usual places – coffee shop, park, y'know – before I decided to head home.

"Luigi!" I'm jumped on from behind, smelling that flowery perfume and hearing Daisy's laughter as she almost makes me lose my balance.

After getting her calmed down, she asks if she can come over today – and of course I happily let her.

Never before was my mansion so lively.

* * *

><p>I thought it would never happen.<p>

Daisy had to go back to Sarasaland while I stayed at my mansion, staring at the wall. Two months dating and this was our first obstacle.

I love Daisy, I really do. I just feel that something's missing… or, like something's not right.

Outside, I was sitting on one of the fountains whenever Waluigi popped up from the bushes snarling. Before he said anything I spat; "Come here to be jealous over Daisy?"

He blinked at me, then he laughed; "Why would you think that?"

Now I blink at him, "Aren't you…" I remember what he said a while ago. "…no."

"You considered it?"

"I didn't consider it!"

"Yes you did. The idea popped into your head just now."

"Hey, you were the one trying to woo _me_ almost three months ago!"

"Yes, then I gave you some space. I'm tired of waiting."

"Well, either wait until I'm done with Daisy and convince me why I should be gay with you, or woo Mario, or find your own girlfriend slash boyfriend."

He gave me that freakishly, devious, and charming smile before saying, "But won't it be fun? Cheating on Daisy? It'd put a little more spring in your step and make your skin brighter."

"I'm – I'm not doing that!"

"At least have one-night stands with me."

"No!"

"C'mon Luigi. Isn't something not right between you and Daisy?"

"A little…"

"Cheating will help you figure that out."

"…no. I mean, yes there are some things I feel that are missing and not needed, but…"

Waluigi grabbed my shoulder, getting right in my face as he whispered; "If there's an itch you need scratched, you can always get me to scratch it."

Why did that sound like a good idea?

"Well…" I was silent for a long time, "…Fridays."

* * *

><p>It's been over a month now; Daisy doesn't even suspect a thing. Nor does Melody.<p>

Because Fridays are days whenever everyone goes off and hides out somewhere away from the mansion. Daisy takes this time to visit Peach.

But I think I use the time wastefully, cheating on her with Waluigi. It's a time eating schedule.

Watching everyone leave, including Daisy.

Waiting for Waluigi to arrive, ushering him in incase if Mario's spying on me. I'm afraid he is.

Sitting in a room, talking or staring at nothing – being an awkward couple (that includes a _cheating man_ nonetheless!)

And it always ends with Waluigi getting me into that mood that I just _hate _with all of my being. I mean, it feels good right up until we're done and I'm trying to go to sleep.

Somehow, Waluigi leaves before even Melody comes back. I guess with his post-insomnia symptoms it makes him a terribly light sleeper.

Whenever Daisy's back, she doesn't even suspect that I spend my Friday's letting Waluigi's name pour out of my throat in that way that just sings pleasure. Neither does she suspect that whenever she's kissing me, that I was kissing Waluigi.

I guess I'll take the grapes back now.

* * *

><p>Daisy had to go back to Sarasaland for a month, and Melody has been getting the usual flavors of hard candy I want.<p>

Apple, orange, grape. She questioned the grape though, so I had to come up with a lie, quickly.

One day, I decided that I wanted to talk to Waluigi about this – me cheating with him. On a Thursday I dismissed the ghosts an hour before Waluigi showed up; acting like it was a Friday.

"Um, question." I said, sitting on the other end of the couch from him, "What if someone finds out?"

"Then either I'm dead or you are." Waluigi pinched the pillow next to him, "Whatcha wanna do tonight?"

I stood up, stomping at him; "Nothing!" I spat, "I'm worried about being found out!"

"How old are you? Twenty? Then you're still young enough to experiment with what kind of fucking you like." Waluigi said nonchalantly, "If someone catches us, we'll call it experimenting."

"Oh yeah, it's experimenting whenever it looks and sounds like the real thing!"

"It does happen. You should see what Daisy has on her laptop about you. She wonders – did my Weegee ever screw another man?"

That's enough to make me sit down and grab my head.

"…wait, are you saying that you're sick of me?"

"No!" I look at him, "I'm not saying that!"

Waluigi just glares, "You want me to leave you alone, don't you?"

"No!" I reply, "I'm just, scared… I mean, cheating…"

"It's good, isn't it? I cheated almost every single relationship I had and I never got caught."

"That's because you're so slick."

"Like lube."

"You've still got a brain of a sixteen year old."

He actually kept his mouth shut after that.

And that was the first night we didn't go to my bedroom for anything. Waluigi just left.

* * *

><p>Daisy came back and walked straight to the bedroom. She admired it before saying, "Well, it doesn't smell like sex."<p>

I looked at her like I had no idea what she was talking about, "Sex?"

"Yeah. A rumor is going around Sarasaland that you and Waluigi are fucking without me knowing it."

I look at her like she's insane, "Daisy, baby, I'd _never_ cheat on you!" I grabbed her shoulders, "You're the only one I could ever love!"

_Lie._

Daisy smiled at me, "If you ever do fuck Waluigi," she cups my cheek, "Video tape it for me."

I back away from her like she was holding a gun at me, "Are you crazy? I'd never even let Waluigi see me in my underwear!"

She laughed before going back down to the TV room.  
>_<p>

Another Friday, and Waluigi comes to the door while Daisy is out – as well as the ghosts – like any other Friday.

As soon as I got the door open, he attacked my lips like there wasn't a tomorrow, about tearing my lip as he did.

I shoved him away, "Waluigi – what the fuck is up?"

"I can't see you anymore."

"W-why not?" Why did this news break my heart?

"It's Daisy. She's onto me." Waluigi wouldn't give me space, "I know it. I'm getting out of here, moving."

"B-but near MK, right?" I asked.

"No, far away." Waluigi lifted me up, and while going to the bedroom he said, "Please, just let me –"

"You better go faster." I said, "One more time."

That was probably the best night of my cheating life, going almost seven rounds before I was so tired I could barely even moan. Worse, the bed was _wet _and _sticky_, probably would've needed ten washes just to get rid of the traces of me cheating.

Before Waluigi left the room when we were completely done, he kissed me and whispered; "I'll be ten miles north of the border, in case if that itch still won't go away."

I nodded, "OK." And then sighed, "Be careful."

He was silent before he said, "I love you." Something he'd never said before to me, even during sex.

* * *

><p>Daisy was smug as she watched me pull the sheets out of the dryer, "Isn't that the fifth time you washed that today?"<p>

I looked at her while trying to smell it – damn it! Still had that sweaty smell to it! "It has a stain on it."

"From what?"

"One of my ink pens."

"Did you use that booster?"

"Twice."

"How much ink did you spill?"

"The pen busted."

"Wash it again. I'll go get some more sheets."

Daisy walked away, I started the wash again before Melody came in.

"He raped you. Why were you having sex with him last night?"

I froze. "W-what are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb Luigi." Melody spat, "I saw him walking in a few weeks ago – that Friday whenever Daisy came back,

talking about getting a Chain Chomp. I heard everything. I've been dropping hints about _someone _knowing, and he thinks its Daisy. _You_ cheated on her, I wanna know why."

S-she knew? I glared at her, "Look, I felt that something was missing and something extra was added with Daisy. Waluigi said that cheating would help me figure that out…"

"Did it?" Melody crossed her arms, "Or was it a waste of time? I think it was a _total _waste of time."

"It…" I stood there thinking. Waluigi did help me figure one thing out with my relationship with Daisy. Oh, that room was so silent for so long.

"…I think that…" I swallowed, accepting what I really didn't want to accept; "…I'm gay."

* * *

><p>Daisy understood my situation, and broke up with me the best way she could without hurting my feelings.<p>

"I mean, I hear it's great to have a gay boyfriend but… you cheated on me…"

I looked at my feet, "Just. Go." I said.

She sighed before doing as I said, not slamming doors or anything as she did.

Melody entered through the wall, "That went better then I expected." She said snootily.

"What do you have against gays?" I spat.

"Nothing. I'm just surprised that she took it so well."

I growled, "Don't make me pull out that damn vacuum young lady."

"Then who'd you vent to?"

I glared at her before I walked to the closet, pulled the vacuum out smoothly and aiming it at her, "Waluigi." I snarled before turning it on.

* * *

><p>"A-all of that?" Waluigi blinked at me after I explained everything that happened to him, "Just because…"<p>

"Yes." I spat, "Now, are you staying here or coming back to my mansion?"

He'd better come back, or else my two-day trip up here would be a total waste of time and I'd go home feeling... dead, inside. Waluigi seemed to be thinking while he looked at me, eyes expressionless.

He looked at me before his devious smile came onto his face, "Sure."

And when we returned to my mansion – a long three-day trip later thanks to him wanting to sleep in a hotel for a day - the first thing Waluigi did was shove me into the bedroom; saying that this would be the "Welcome back" sex.

Now that I wasn't cheating anymore, and that most of the mansion's ghosts were paintings again, we did whatever the hell we wanted what whatever volume we could scream at.

By the time we were done, Waluigi chuckled and whispered in my ear, "Just as good as you were with Daisy. Maybe even better."

I nodded.

"Well." He pushed himself off of me, "I think I'll go wash off."

"L-let me join?" I panted

"Oh, want to make your mark on me, eh?"

"Y-yes."

"Then c'mon. I think I've had a good time in the shower before."

* * *

><p>It was only a month later whenever I decided to ask Waluigi something I knew he'd probably lie about, "Are you cheating on me?"<p>

"No, of course not. Why?"

"You said in all of your relationships you cheated on someone with someone else."

"That's true. Why I did that was because I felt like seeing who I went more towards – guys or girls." He smirked at me, "If we break up anytime soon, I'm going for a girlfriend next."

"Uh huh." I left without another word.

I decided to do this: if he said he was "going for a walk" this afternoon I'd accept that he was cheating on me and find out if I was right. If I was: I would find out with whom, and dump him right on the spot. If he stayed home, however, I'd go about my business as usual.

That evening, Waluigi kissed my cheek before saying, "I'm going for a walk."

He's cheating on me.

"Have _fun_." I said, watching him leave.

I expected him to come home very late with an excuse that could be believed – Mario stopped me, or I had to run down to the oil plantation to check up on things, buddies wanted me to go for a drink.

Instead he was home in an hour, slinking in with that devious smile that he always wore whenever he was up to something and holding a bag. I stood in the doorway to the hall, "What do you have?"

"Stuff." He walked past me to the bedroom, "Just stuff."

"Where'd you get it?" I followed him.

"One of my friends."

"It better not be drugs." I crossed my arms, "I thought Mario and I got you out of that."

"No, that ain't it." He laughed, I saw him rubbing his shoulder.

"I'll play the guessing game." I leaned against the doorframe, "New bat?"

"The bag is too small."

"Stuff you use for your bomb-ombs?"

"I'm not allowed to make those for personal use anymore. Only for the Grand Prix."

"Files? I've seen you do that before."

"Nope. Think, different, Luigi."

"Hmm." I hit my head against the frame, "Gimme a hint."

He turned and smiled at me, devious stuck as always, "Oh, c'mon. It's not _that_ hard."

"Yes it is."

"Hmm. How does it go…?" he faced forward while grabbing his shoulder tightly, "Je T'aime? Yeah, that's it."

I gave him my questioning look, "I don't speak whatever language you said. Italian, maybe."

"Well I had to learn French." He snarled.

"Uh huh." I walked towards the bed, "And what did you say?"

"How does it go in Italian? Ti amo?"

"Aw." I chuckled, "I already know that, Waluigi."

"So, does that give you a hint?"

I shrugged, "Sex stimulants?"

"Close, missed it by _that_ much."

I opened my eyes much wider at him, "You don't have any _toys_ in there do you?"

He nodded, "Not for us though."

"They better not be." I laughed nervously, "If it was, I'd have a heart attack. W-why do you have them?"

"Oh, just holding them. One of my friends said he'd be busted if his girlfriend caught him with them."

"Being the life saver, huh?"

"Yeah…"

I wish I had a built in lie detector, because later that week Waluigi had cornered me in the bedroom with one of the toys in the bag – smile as devious as ever.

There's not another word to describe it, aside from _devious._

* * *

><p>"Although you may have your kinky moments." I pushed Waluigi onto the couch, glowing in triumph as he looked back up at me in shock. "I have worse ones. So much worse." I smirked, "You're a smooth guy, using those <em>things<em> like you did. But I have something _much better_."

Waluigi – now completely dominated by _me_ – just laid there. "L-Luigi – this isn't payback for what –"

"You could say." I cut in, leaning down to his face. "But tonight, I'm going farther." I gave an airy chuckle, "Take my place tonight, I'll take yours. It's fun being the _catcher_ sometimes."

"L-Luigi –"

"Scared much?"

"N-no! It's y-your tone o-of voice..."

"Is it?" I listened to myself – yeah, who _was_ that talking? "What's wrong with it?"

"Uh –"

"Oh, you like it, don't you?" I continued to speak in a husky-ish voice – which, seemed to be something I could use in the future against him – "Making you... interested?"

"Damn it Luigi, hurry up." Waluigi hissed, bucking up into my stomach, I winced at what I felt. "Stop using your voice and just start fucking!" he whined in a way I never heard him talk before.

I smirked, "Of course, _darling_."

* * *

><p>I was out in public shopping whenever I heard the news: Mario was getting ready to get married to Peach.<p>

"Well, good for him." I muttered.

"Are you going to his wedding?" Toad asked me – being the one who had to run up and tell me.

"No." I said.

"W-why not?" Toad screeched, running in front of me, "Why can't you come?"

"First of all, I don't think Wal – I wouldn't want to go, and second he took too long to make up his mind!"

"Daisy's going!"

I stopped. Of course, if anyone wanted to bribe me into going somewhere, they'd always say that Daisy was going to be there. Daisy this, Daisy that. "I'm sorry, not going."

"Aw." Toad said, walking away while he was slouched over.

"Tell Mario I'm happy for him though." I called back, crossing the street carefully.

* * *

><p>If they were doing anything more, I'd screamed so loudly the paintings would be alive.<p>

Waluigi and some _woman_, sitting on _my _couch, sipping water from _my _glasses!

I didn't mean to be all properitive over Waluigi – but my teeth clenched together and I made a fist with my free hand.

Waluigi – seeing my attitude – jumped up and rushed over, laughing nervously. "Luigi! Hey, welcome back!"

I shoved him away, staring at his female friend, "Who. Is. She?"

Redheaded, long hair, wearing a purple shirt and a black skirt with extremely unmatching orange knee-high boots – this woman seemed to be Waluigi as a female. She slowly pulled her hair behind her ear, "Maybe I should leave now." She snarled. Hell, she _talked_ like Waluigi!

"W-Walgina, this is my boyfriend Luigi." Waluigi knelt down, trying to kiss my cheek while I kept his face away.

"Oh, so _that's_ him! Looks much better then I'd imagined him to be."

"Uh huh. He's kinda pissed right now so –"

"Explain _your_ relationship!" I spat.

"It's not what you think." Walgina stood up – good thing she isn't _tall_ – and flipped her hair back, "Waluigi and I used to sit in one of the alleyways and smoke pot before he quit."

"Drug buddy." Waluigi sneered, "Now she's working at _my_ company."

"Well, I better be going..." Walgina eyed me. "...before I get my head ripped off." She snarled.

"He's just tired." Waluigi mumbled through my shoulder.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, Waluigi." Walgina trotted to the hall, poking her head back in and adding; "I think Luigi should join us to."

* * *

><p>"Drug buddy? How about past flame – ex girlfriend?"<p>

"Luigi, she and I are _just. Friends._" Waluigi and I glared at each other on a balcony. "What makes you think –?"

"What did you tell me a long time ago whenever I was with Daisy? Quote on quote, I've cheated in every relationship I've been in!" I yelled.

"I'm _not cheating on you_!"

I was starting to shake, I was so angry; I started to breathe heavily, trying to look as pissed off as I could. "I don't want to hear it. Go home."

"Wha – Luigi..."

"_Go home! Now!_" I screeched, marching away from him to go to my bedroom. "_Security!_"

My longtime loyal security guard was dragging Waluigi away from my mansion by the time I was in my room. I watched as Waluigi struggled, occasionally yelling something I couldn't understand.

I think I'll call this relationship quits.

* * *

><p>It's a wonder what happens to me when I'm bored around the mansion.<p>

Without Waluigi snuggling against me all the time, and without any ghosts to talk with, and my guard living in front of my mansion, I've been locked up and looking for things to do.

My place is gonna look like a German house if I clean it any more.

I think I've played every game on the internet that is worth playing.

I've seen a list of things to do around the house when I'm bored, but that list depleted quickly.

I set up my own plumbing system, so I can take super long showers without worrying about a bill.

..._super_ long showers.

I know, I know, I'm not supposed to waste water for a shower – but, I'm _bored_.

It's a wonder how there's hardly any steam on the mirror when I'm done in the shower.

...I use cold water, yes.

Besides, it's fun to mas-

Uh...

It's fun to... stand there, in the shower stream.

...fine.

I get so bored that I end up taking cold showers and jerking off. I've even gone to those toys that Waluigi left over here to help amuse me.

It's gotten to the point where I usually go five or six rounds with myself before I have to just take a normal shower and get out.

It's better than Waluigi ever was, anytime.

* * *

><p>I was just done being... <em>bored<em> whenever my guard phoned up to me that Waluigi was back again.

"Is he in your face?" I asked, going to where I could see the front door surveillance.

"No, he's... asking for you to come out here."

I laughed, "Fuck him. I'll be out on my balcony."

At said place, I stood there looking down at the front of the mansion. Waluigi was talking to the guard before he looked up and saw me. "Luigi!" he called.

"What do you want?" I gripped the side tightly.

"I – I wanted to apologize..."

"For cheating?"

"No, for pissing you off." Waluigi threw his arms up, "I'm sorry! Will you just –"

"You're sorry? Well go ahead and start asking Walgina to be your girlfriend – we're done!" I spat.

Waluigi sighed, grabbing his face before looking back up at me again, "I wasn't cheat-"

"I don't care." I snapped, "You have one more sentence to say to me before you have to go."

He crossed his arms, glaring up at me before saying – "I can't go with Walgina, she's pissed at me because she had _my _kid!"

* * *

><p>"Shocker." I muttered, walking next to Yoshi. "Waluigi knocked up his own drug buddy, and now he's not paying for the child care."<p>

"_I didn't even think he had a drug buddy_." Yoshi stopped to sniff a plant, "_Maybe it's just me barely paying attention to him._"

"Hello? Yoshi! You were there whenever he started fussing about Mario and me getting him off drugs!"

"_Speaking of Mario, are you going to his –_?"

"No."

"_Why not?_"

"I don't want to."

Yoshi seemed to sigh, "_Oh well. Hey, thanks for walking with me around my track._"

We stopped in front of the finish line to Yoshi circuit – done with making sure the track was OK for the upcoming Grand Prix. Mario and Peach decided to have one after their wedding.

I'm going to stay home.

"No problem." I muttered. "Stay safe, OK Yoshi?"

Yoshi made his usual sound before I left him.

* * *

><p>My security guard was sleeping when I got home, and after I woke him up and got inside, I quickly figured out what happened.<p>

There was Waluigi, lounging on my couch like normal, holding a wine glass in one hand and his shoulder in the other.

"Waluigi." I growled.

"You're not going to be racing, are you?"

"I want to be home – _alone_."

"I'll take that as a no."

"Won't you leave me alone? I said we are over, OK? _Over!_"

"I can't."

"Seeing as how you knock out my security guard and break into my house!"

"Luigi. Don't get mad now..."

"Why can't I? I already –"

"I love you." Waluigi stared at the ceiling while he said it. "I love you. I can't just walk away."

I scoffed, "So?"

He was silent before he said, "You don't even care."

"Why should –"

"Seems like I've rubbed off on you."

"What are you –?"

"You're oblivious to what I'm saying and wiping it off like I used to. I see how you are now." Waluigi held his glass – which I now noticed was empty – high above his head. "Made an emotion shield."

"Because I –"

"Don't want to accept it?" Waluigi laughed, "Face it. If I bring this down on my face and let the glass blind me, you would freak out. You'd get your security guard down here; you'd get an ambulance, whatever."

"See if I do." I growled, although I didn't like the idea of him hurting himself.

Waluigi smiled, "Suit yourself." He started to bring the glass down onto himself.

I had quick reflexes, jumping forward and grabbing his arm just before the glass reached the brim of his hat. "Don't be stupid, you son of a bitch." I growled, managing to pry the glass away from him, "Get over me already, why don't you?"

Waluigi just smiled, "I see, I see…"

"Of course you can see. If you were blind you'd have a seeing eye Chain Chomp."

"No, you don't want me to hurt myself incase if you're gonna come running back to me."

"What the –" I sighed in frustration and grabbed my face, " – I don't want to be the one blamed whenever you can't see because you went and stabbed your eyes out with a glass."

"_Wine_ glass." He corrected.

"Whatever." I sighed, holding the glass by its long body, "What about Walgina and that child?"

"Oh, her? The company's gonna increase her paycheck. By a lot." Waluigi snarled, "But I'm not here to talk about Walgina."

"You're here to gather what you left and leave." I pointed to a box of his things he'd left over here that I just so happened to leave in this room – n-not the toys, I need those.

"No." Waluigi stood up, snatching the glass back. "I'm staying here tonight."

"Whatever." I laughed, "_Secur-_"

Waluigi scooped my up like I was his small pet dog after throwing a piece of tape over my mouth. (Where the hell did he get it?) Laughing in his victorious way, he balanced the glass on my torso and kept me from falling while I struggled against him. "Ah, Luigi, you're just so cute sometimes…"

I hit my head as hard as I could against his chest, thinking that I knocked a little air out of him, trying to say "Jackass" through the tape.

Waluigi just carried me higher into my mansion, going into one of the guest rooms while saying; "Why don't we kiss and make up, hm?"

I shook my head at him.

"Aw, c'mon. I won't bring anyone else into this house unless you're OK with them."

I managed to loosen my arm up and take the tape off my mouth, "Who says you're staying here? Why don't you go on back to your own house?"

"Yours is nicer."

"Well, do some house cleaning, put me down!"

Waluigi tossed me onto the bed, pointing at the window as he said, "I won't get _that_ kind of view."

I turned and looked, widening my eyes as I realized that I was hardly ever in this room. Ever. This was one of those rooms that only has a purpose when you have visiting family over for a while or something like that – one you hardly ever went into.

Yet, I wanted to make this room my bedroom before I figured I had to keep my bedroom close to the ground in case of emergency.

But the view, _the view_, of MK's forests and the top of Peach's castle – far away, but you can still see it – highlighted by a full moon, it made me remember why I wanted to sleep _here _every night. All the while, during that moment I just stared, I calmed down and relaxed – relaxed much farther then I used to be relaxed when I was still living with Mario – and thought he liked Peach.

Waluigi had used this time that I was staring to lock the door and quietly slide up next to me on the bed, not getting my full attention even after he was kissing my neck lightly.

"You think a one story can get that view?" he whispered.

"No…" I replied, turning so he could press more kisses to my neck, "…not unless you live on a mountain…"

"You always get the better stuff." Waluigi pulled my overall strap, "It makes me jealous. But not why I love you."

"It's so weird hearing you say that." I muttered.

"Well, I don't think so." Waluigi kissed me on the lips before jumping off the bed, "So, are you still pissed?"

"A little." I mumbled, looking at the blanket.

I heard Waluigi sigh, "Why don't you go take a shower? I'll wait on you."

I looked up at him, seeing that look on his face that he wore whenever he wanted you to do something whenever he did something else to surprise you – which is a rare look – and crossing his arms, standing up straight. I'm surprised his head didn't knock against my lights.

"…I suppose I could." I got up, "I had to go to Yoshi Circuit today, so I'm kinda grimy…"

"Take a shower, feel better." Waluigi said.

"I will."

* * *

><p>I wasn't taking a shower, instead I was being… <em>bored,<em> and sitting down while reaching my high for the second time, the water being wasted as it went straight from the showerhead to the drain.

I wasn't sure if Waluigi had no time on his hands, but I didn't care. As soon as I closed and locked myself in the bathroom I felt the need to do this.

Thankfully, Waluigi hadn't broken in here. Yet. He's that type that's a good pickpocket and lock-picker, I'm shocked he didn't reach into my overalls and steal my wallet.

So I decided to go another time, trying to think of something that would make me desperate for another release. I tried thinking about some new kink I could have, or something that a guy like me might find to be a … turn on.

But, what scared me was the fact that I could easily imagine Waluigi. That kind of Waluigi no one has ever seen but… me, sadly.

That kind of Waluigi that… uses the husky voice, breathes against your neck while he plays with your pants, kisses your face lightly…

_I was starting to pant._

The image of him nipping and kissing at my collarbone, him throwing his hat to the other side of the room…

_I closed my eyes and leaned back, just letting it happen._

…teasing, undressing slower then death…

_The water was loud enough to deafen the sounds of the lock being picked._

…maybe going slow, I imagined, in a candle lit room – green everything, of course. I'd hate for everything to be purple…

_He slides into the bathroom…_

…maybe a hint of mint in the air as well…

…_I – I'm getting there!_

…ugh, how good he would feel!

_I'm – I-I'm – ah – I'm -!_

"Luigi? Are you about done in here?"

I stood up, giving a small yelp as I heard Waluigi speak. "D-don't look! I'm –" I leaned against the wall, "– I'm almost done!"

_Of course I was almost done, until he had to come in…_

"I was making sure you were OK… I, heard my name…"

"You were hearing things, I wasn't talking." I quickly tried to finish myself off.

"No, I heard you clearly. Like, as if you were…" I saw Waluigi's hand reach for the edge of the curtain.

"Uh, uh!" I slapped my hand against the edge, trying to get to my high – "I'm almost done, just get out right fast!"

"You sound shaky, are you OK?"

"Fine, I'm – I'm –" _Damn it, too soon!_ "– W- Waluigi –"

Maybe, just maybe, if I had ignored myself and just acted like I was taking a normal shower he would've stayed out. But no, now I was coming down from a high just as Waluigi ripped back the other side of the shower curtain.

Acting like a complete girl, I shut that side of the curtain as I said, "Stop looking!"

Waluigi started laughing, "You were jerking off in here!"

"I was not!"

"I saw all of it!"

"Shut up Waluigi!"

"What, do you do that every shower you take? Was I not good enough for you?"

"Well –"

"Maybe if you hurry up," Waluigi started to sound… oh damn, _husky_, "I might just show you how much I've improved since we've been apart."

"You've improved in two weeks?"

"My secret. Take a normal shower, and hurry up."

* * *

><p>"Whoa." I about stumbled back from how warm the bedroom was from the bathroom, "Did <em>you<em> jerk off in here?"

"No, it's these candles." Waluigi replied, making me take a better look. Yes, he had some candles lit – thank goodness they weren't gonna cause a fire – and he had the curtains closed.

"Where are you?" I asked, not seeing him.

"Bonjour." He whispered in my ear, enjoying me jumping and squeaking before backing me up to the bed.

Just as I hit the mattress, it seemed that I had predicted my fantasy that I had in the bathroom, turning red as I watched Waluigi take his hat off while pulling his overall strap teasingly – before throwing his hat across the room.

* * *

><p>We're back together again, if that was what Waluigi was after.<p>

I mean, after last night, I really – _really_ – didn't want to force him out again; besides, it felt good to wake up feeling just as nasty as that night when he returned from living outside MK.

Even better, no worrying about having to wash these sheets – I didn't have guests coming over soon. (Although saying that makes me look lazy.)

I was up before Waluigi was, taking a shower (no _boredom_ there) and going downstairs like any other normal day.

Waluigi was along not an hour later, and I was happy he took a shower as well when he tackled me on the couch in the TV room.

Of course, that ended whenever my security guard phoned me and said, "Your brother is here."

Without a second thought, I was storming down the hall with Waluigi close behind, snatching up my old hammer while I did. "What the hell does he want?" I muttered under my breath, "If he wants me to be his best man he can suck my dick."

Waluigi made a sound of awkward surprise after I said that.

"What?" I turned around, "You shocked that I said that? I have a potty mouth to, ya know."

"I know. It's just, weird, hearing you talk like that."

We made it outside; I immediately started towards my nonchalantly waiting brother – pissing me off the way he stood there, looking like he did long before he smooched up on me.

"Hey Luigi." He started, "I wanted to – Luigi? What are you doing with that hammer…?"

"It's a warning." I muttered.

"Luigi, aren't you over it yet?"

"Nope."

"It's been almost a year since you've talked to me!"

"He's not going to your wedding." Waluigi walked up behind me, resting his hand on my shoulder, "He's staying home."

Mario gaped at him, "W-what are you doing here?"

I looked at Waluigi while I said innocently, "Ti amo."

"Je T'aime."

My brother seemed to be spitting over his own voice, trying to ask the obvious question before my guard made him spit it out – "You're dating Waluigi?"

Yes, fratello. Yes I am. And I do so rightfully believe that I love him more than I've loved anyone else.

* * *

><p><strong>** So, that was probably a sad presentation of the entire story, but I don't want to rewrite it. <strong>

**This is an _old_ story, remember? So if there's something that seems quirky, odd, or stupid about it you can blame the past version of me and the current version of me that's too lazy to edit it but feels its presentable enough for _Collection_. **

**Well, see you next time I upload something onto this story. ****


	25. Shoulder Bites

He bites his shoulder while he says, "You're mine."

"I figured."

"It's fact. Now turn to me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"You're keeping me straight."

He violently turns the other around, "Better?"

"You're a dumbass."

"Yet you want me to love you?"

"I never said that."

"Then why the hell do we keep on meeting up and fucking?"

"Why do we think about it instead of doing it?"

"I thought we hated each other?"

"I thought we loved each other?"

He sighs while pulling him closer, resting their foreheads together while saying, "We do."

"Then let's make it true. Kiss me."

Then kisses go overboard.

****Whatever this is, it isn't a story... but at least it ain't script format. I actually found this buried deep in my jump drive and felt the urge to upload it. ****


	26. Pictures Last Longer

****Super short, super cute. ****

"I see you staring at me." Luigi muttered, eyes glued to the TV. "Stop staring and come in."

Waluigi didn't move, holding onto the door frame and shyly peeking inside.

"I said come in." Luigi growled.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Waluigi slowly walked inside, hands behind his back and eyes stuck on the shorter. He couldn't help but keep on staring, even after he sat down and Luigi had moved around to situate himself.

After a few minutes, Luigi sighed, "Pictures last much longer."

"But they're not as good looking."

With a blush dusting his face, Luigi looked down. "Hush."

Waluigi ignored him, scooting closer and closer until he could wrap an arm around Luigi and pull him close. "Why?" he asked, pressing a kiss to the side of Luigi's face.

"Because I said so, hush." Luigi tried to pry himself away.

Waluigi only chuckled, smacking the remote to turn the TV off before making Luigi face him in the dark. "I don't wanna hush." He said before smashing his lips against Luigi's.


	27. Where Did His Innocence Go?

**** I found this one, I wanted to upload it. There. Happy? ****

Luigi was too innocent for this to be happening. _Was_.

Today, Waluigi figured, was just going to be a normal day. But actually, it was better.

He didn't have to go to work, because they didn't need him today. Maybe they just said that because it was his birthday or something like that. Just kidding. He knew today wasn't his birthday though.

It was tomorrow.

So today was even better when Waluigi found out that Mario and Luigi actually sent him an early "Yay you're older now!" letter. But Luigi seemed to have snuck in something extra.

Waluigi and Luigi were somewhat awkward lately, having woken up a few weeks ago in the same bed after happening to be at the same bar – drunk as hell. Luigi acted like it was just something weird at first, before he started to slyly sneak Waluigi something erotic – twice a movie that Daisy happily helped make that included said man being _undeniably sexy._

Luigi did it again, this time Waluigi found himself watching it over and over again out of finding it to be something _he could jerk off to._

Later on, he got phone calls from Daisy and his employees, telling him early happiness and all. Daisy seemed to be hinting at something, but Waluigi just blew it off as something stupid.

Later that evening, Luigi called Waluigi. The taller was nervous to answer, but found he just did before he could change his mind.

From the other end, he heard Luigi speaking with a voice that really didn't suit him. "So, someone's turning 21 soon?"

Waluigi swallowed, "Yeah."

"Oh, triple lucky seven then." Luigi giggled, "Well, what exactly did you want this year?"

"…nothing?"

Luigi laughed, "Nothing? Did you not get what I sent you?"

"I – I – I did."

"Did you like it?"

"Y-yes."

"Oh, well then, hurry up and answer your door."

Waluigi, who was standing right next to the front door, looked at it before slowly reaching out and grabbing the doorknob. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and looked outside.

Luigi was holding his cell phone to his ear, smiling. "Happy to see me?" he snapped his phone closed.

Waluigi just set his phone on the windowsill, "Y-yeah, sure…"

Luigi pushed his way inside, looking back to wink at Waluigi before walking towards his bedroom. Leaving the taller to wonder, _What the hell happened to his innocence?_


	28. He's Wearing My Shirt

"You~ lazy~ head~! Wake up~!"

Oh no, I'm not asleep, I just have my eyes closed.

"Wake uuiieeehp!"

If he keeps on whining like that I'll ignore him even more.

Ow, ow, ow - what the heck is he -

"Wal-u-i-gi wake up!"

I finally sit up and glare at him, only because he kept hitting me across the race with some -

Oh.

Hello.

"Yay, you woke up! I'm happy now!" He says while clapping his hands together - or rather, clapping his fabric covered hands together. "Look-et-dis! Your shirts are too big me~!" He waves his arms around, sleeves flopping around even more.

"Um, yeah, go ahead and ruin it why don't you?" I growl, surprised at how much sleeve is dangling off from his hands.

He sighs, "I'm not ruining it. I'm having fun in it! Lookit! I got wings!" he flaps his arms to make a stupid bird imitation.

"Luigi, you're twenty years old, shouldn't you be acting a little more mature right now?" I mumble, getting angry at how...happy he is.

"Nu!" he says while slapping me with a sleeve, giggling and hugging himself, "Your shirts are comfy~!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say," I step out of the bed, watching as he covers his eyes and turns away, squeaking about how I didn't even put on boxers after last night.

...I wasn't that tired...

I go into the bathroom for a quick shower, but when I close the door he's clawing at it five seconds later, "Kuu! What are you doing?"

"Taking a shower, gimme a few minutes!" I snap back. He can be so damn clingy sometimes...

He opens the door as soon as I turn on the water, saying that we should bathe together to save water.

No, he just wants to have an excuse to be in the same room as me.

But I don't mind it, no, I don't. I find mindlessly rubbing his back with a soapy washrag while he's cuddling me and rubbing his face against my chest to be quite relaxing.

* * *

><p>"Nya, meh meh meh!"<p>

"What are you doing?"

"Your stove! It won't - there it goes!"

I stand at the doorway of the kitchen, crossing my arms and glaring at his back while he's frikin' making breakfast.

Again, wearing my shirt.

"You know, you could catch the sleeves on fire if you cook like that." I say, trying to convince him to get into something safer.

"No, I'll be fine! Besides, your shirts are warm and cozy!" he sings, cracking an egg into the pan.

"But, Luigi - ah, never mind." I just walk away. If he ends up on fire, all I can say is that I tried to warn him.

* * *

><p>"Oops! I dropped it..."<p>

I really wish he's go put some normal clothes on. I try to stay focused on the TV screen instead of watching him as he bends over to pick up whatever he dropped.

My shirt may be too big for him, but it's not too long for him. I still see that he hasn't even been bothered to go exchange his briefs for boxers. "Hey, ever considered pants?" I snap.

"Pants? Oh, do you have any cozy pants?" he runs off to my room before I can answer, probably going to raid my closet and mess everything up. He brought his own clothes, why can't he wear them?

"Whee!" he plops down next to me, and I see he went and put on a pair of my fleece lounge pants, which are way too long for him. "These are comfy!"

"I guess that's good enough..." I mutter as he snuggles up against me, "What are you, a cat?"

"Nya~!" He flaps the sleeve around again, still rubbing up against me.

"Stop, I can't play this with you bumping into my arm."

"Nya?"

Damn it, why is he so cute?

"Hnnnyyyyyyaaaaaaaahhhh pewuuuf!" he lifts and drops his legs on the couch, giggling and still rubbing up against my side.

I try to focus on my game, but I soon cut it off and drop the remote on the table, "I give up..."

"Waluigi~ we should snuggle up!" Luigi quickly sits up, slapping my shoulder with the sleeves.

Seriously? All he wants to do is snuggle?

"Please~?"

Resist the voice.

"Pwease?"

He's starting to sound like a baby...

"Waluigi, please? I really want to snuggle." he says in a cracking, sad voice that breaks my heart.

"Fine." I give in, letting him cling onto me and bury his face in my chest, where he then proceeds to let out a cat sound in his joy.

"Nyuhh, hmm..."

* * *

><p>He's asleep on top of me, snoring and rubbing his head against my chest while his hands are folded under his torso.<p>

I can't help but to let him stay where he is, he's obviously comfortable and having good dreams. I stay still as I rub his back, staring all around the room as the hours tick into the late evening. He's supposed to be home, but I guess he'd rather tick off his brother than give up flouncing around in my shirt.

"Nyah... so happy..."

There you go, he's happy. And drooling on my shirt. But I don't care, it's Luigi, if it was anybody else I'd be flipping a table on then right now.

"Kuuu~!" He shoots up suddenly, wide awake, "Waluigi, I wanna stay the night again!"

Oh, and what, torture me with that adorableness and snuggling that's made me want to spin around the room with him? I guess he can, seeing as how I've actually enjoyed this day, only because of his laughter and weird baby sounds he was making while flopping around in my shirt.

"Whatever." I say, sitting up while he jumps off me to go run into the kitchen again.

"Yay! I get to stay with my boyfriend another night!"

Boyfriend? I really wish that word didn't make me blush like it does.

* * *

><p>"I, I wanna - I wanna stay up..." he says, even though his head is tilting forward and his eyes are closing, "...I wanna watch this..."<p>

"Luigi, you're bobbing around trying to stay awake. I think we should go to bed." I cut off the TV and wrap my arm around him, hoping that he'll go without a fuss.

"Buh-Buh it was almost over~!" he points at the screen, his head rests comfortably against my chest, "I wanted to see how it ended!"

"You're getting sleepy, c'mon, it's midnight anyway, way past when you normally go to sleep."

"Why do I have to? You stay up all night all the time." he pokes my arm as I sigh. I just want him to be energized tomorrow, incase if he does have to run home for his idiot of a brother. Besides, I'm starting to get somewhat tired myself.

"Well, what if I go to sleep with you?" I ask, getting up from the couch as he whines and reaches after me.

"Nu, nu, come back," he pouts, "I want my pillow."

I laugh as I pick him up, slowly working my way through the dark to my room as he gives a few last, sleepy chuckles. By the time I've placed him on the bed, he's out cold.

I quickly get situated next to him, wrapping my arms around his slightly feminine body - still in my clothes - and lay there waiting until either morning comes or until I suddenly fall asleep.

Either way, Luigi's still probably gonna be in my clothes in the morning.


	29. Now You Know How I Feel

"Boo."

That one word, whispered quietly, was enough to make Luigi leap out of his skin, freezing up and dropping his soda cup onto the tile floor. After that, he spun around in an attempt to try to punch whoever it was that had snuck up on him, only to find his fist caught in the large hand of his boyfriend, who was laughing like this was the funniest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"D-dammit, Waluigi!" Luigi spat, throwing another fist at the taller's stomach, only to have Waluigi's palm block and keep the shorter's other hand captive.

"Aw, c'mon, Luigi, have a little bit of fun in your day!" Waluigi barely pushed against Luigi's hands, still managing to keep them at bay, "You gotta admit, though, that was hilarious."

"Hilarious my ass," Luigi growled, trying to pull his hands back, "You want to clean this up, or do you want me to?"

"Clean what up?" Waluigi questioned while smirking.

"This." Luigi nodded at the floor, where soda was starting to soak into his socks, "I'd prefer it all cleaned up before it dries and leaves a sticky spot."

"Hm," Waluigi released his hold on Luigi's hands, stepping back to watch as the shorter yanked paper towels from the roll. "You know, it's a wonder why you even dropped that cup anyway."

"You freaking scared me, you idiot!" Luigi threw the paper towels down on the floor, white suddenly morphing into soda brown, "What would you do if I just appeared behind you like that while you were working?"

"Well, I'd jump, but then I'd ask why you were at my work." Waluigi narrowed his eyes, "I wouldn't spazz out like you did."

"Yes you would, it's the fight or flight instinct." Luigi grumbled, throwing away the soaked towels before grabbing another bunch. "So, what brings you here, Waluigi?"

"Oh, you know, I got off early, so I decided to come over here to kill time." Waluigi stepped forward, "From how you're dressed, I can tell you just got off as well."

"Yeah, yeah." Luigi finished cleaning up the spill, dumping the towels as he fixed an overall strap, "I'm lucky to have gotten off in time, damn idiots making me take care of almost all the calls – _eay!_"

"Quit being so jumpy, babe," Waluigi mumbled as he tightened his arms around Luigi, resting his chin on his shoulder, "Am I really that sneaky?"

"Yes you freaking are! Wear a damn bell or something!" Luigi struggled against the taller, trying to pull away only to find he wasn't strong enough. With a sigh, he gave up, crossing his arms and glaring at the cabinet in front of him.

"Aw, Weegee, quit being so grouchy." Waluigi pressed a kiss to Luigi's cheek, "C'mon, let's go upstairs and get out of this gaudy outfit."

"That's what I wanted to do after I enjoyed my soda." Luigi continued to pout.

Waluigi chuckled, "Fine, I'll pour you another one while you go change out of this," he tugged on the overall strap on Luigi's other shoulder, "Although I'd really love to help you out of it…"

"I can change clothes by myself, I'm not some baby." Luigi finally worked Waluigi's arms away, ignoring the groan of frustration that followed as he stormed out of the kitchen.

"You're just as cranky as one though," Waluigi called after him, "A cranky baby that just woke up with a crap filled diaper!"

"That crap filled diaper is you, ass wipe." Luigi called back.

Waluigi laughed, crossing his arms and shaking his head, "Be glad I was there to catch your crap!" He replied before moving on to pouring the drink as he promised.

* * *

><p>"So, how's my darling doing this evening?" Waluigi asked as Luigi walked by him, quickly reaching out to slap his rear end with a large smile upon his face.<p>

Luigi yelped in surprise and pain, covering his butt with his hands as he turned around to glare at Waluigi, "Don't _even_ start, idiot."

"Aww, why are you so grumpy?" Waluigi leaned forward, resting his head in his hands, "Did you have _that_ bad a day?"

"I already explained, I was doing _everything_ at work today." Luigi growled, taking a moment to take a large swallow of soda. "And then there's you, coming in and scaring me and spanking me."

"Oh, but Luigi, you love being spanked," Waluigi raised and lowered his eyebrows, "As you've said before, some days you're a _bad boy_, and you need it."

"I've been good today; I think I deserve no spanking." Luigi plopped down onto the couch, away from Waluigi, "As a matter of fact I deserve ice cream and cookies and cartoons."

Waluigi snorted, "Now, with what you did this afternoon, I think you only deserve a cookie."

Luigi threw a hand back at him, "Whatever."

The taller quietly scooted down until he was right next to the shorter, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and digging his nose into his neck, "Come on now, Weegee, you're being so snappy…"

Luigi grunted, trying to shove Waluigi away.

"C'mon, quit being a sour puss," Waluigi began blowing against Luigi's neck, sliding his hands to the sides of Luigi's torso to start tickling him.

"St-stop – stop it – aha – stop – stop that!" Luigi began squirming and flailing, laughing while trying to escape the ticklish grasp, "Waluigi – shtop – shtop!"

Long, slim fingers never stopped their torture, and chapped lips continually pressed against the soft skin, blowing against it whilst nipping cautiously.

After a few minutes, Luigi tired himself out enough to relax against the couch, still flinching and squealing every single time Waluigi started ticking or blowing against his neck after a short break. His throat sore from laughing, his torso aching from fingers digging into it, neck feeling numb from all the blowing and biting, Luigi finally began tugging against the bottom of Waluigi's shirt, "Stop, stop, please, I'm being serious, I'm tired!"

"Ah, I'm glad I at least got rid of a little bit of that tension." Waluigi planted a kiss on the last place he bit Luigi's neck, rubbing his sides while snuggling closer.

"No, you just made more of it." Luigi muttered, pinching the skin of the taller's arm, "If you really want to help me relax, go get me a pizza or something."

Waluigi snorted, "Those aren't healthy for you, with all the grease and hands of people who make it –"

"Well then go make me one from scratch." Luigi started jabbing a finger into Waluigi's ribs, "Or are you unable to even do that?"

"C'mon, really? Why not a salad or nothing at all?" Waluigi pressed against Luigi even more, "Or maybe even me?"

"You're not edible, and no, we're not gonna do anything nasty." Luigi began pushing back, "I want food, not sausage."

"But it's _French!_"

"French or not, I don't want it now."

"But you'd always want it when it's _French~_!"

"I want Italian, and I want pizza. That's it."

Waluigi stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, "Fine then. If I make you a pizza, _then_ will you –"

"Maybe." Luigi slapped the top of Waluigi's head. "Only if I get my pizza."

With a final groan in frustration, Waluigi got up from the couch, "Fine. Only because you said maybe."

"Grazie~ mi amore~!" Luigi sang.

* * *

><p>"<em>Now<em>?"

"No."

"C'mon, Weegee!"

"Ahem, I haven't eaten yet."

"W-well, eat! C'mon! Nom it! Bite into it! Pull against it! Chew it! Swallow it! Ooh, swallow it~!"

"Waluigi!" The taller found himself hit in the face with napkins, "Shut up, just shut up!"

"But Luigi!" Luigi turned away, biting into a slice of the home made pizza he was just served, "You're so cruel, leaving me to sit here almost hanging!"

The shorter scoffed, "It's still in your pants."

Waluigi was silent for a moment before he chuckled, "I _could_ take it out for you –"

"Sir, I am trying to _eat_." Luigi took another bite of pizza, now turned back around and glaring at the other.

"Sir, I am _impatient_." Waluigi crossed his legs, leaning back into the couch pillows, "Did I do a good job, by the way?"

"Eh, it's a little dough-y, but it'll do." Luigi said around the corner of his third slice, intentionally lying. It was perfect, he just didn't want to listen to any more of the other's whining about what he wanted to do tonight, and how soon he wanted it.

"C'mon, I thought you liked it dough-y?" Waluigi rolled his head back, "But okay, I guess I won't make it as such next time. If there _is_ a next time."

"There will be if you wanna get what you want," Luigi smirked, "I'm not one that just thinks that sex automatically relaxes all."

"Well, you seem to like it a lot. You remember the other night in the kitchen and the cucumber –"

"_I heard my cell phone go off~_ could you go get it?" Luigi completely turned his body around so that his back was facing Waluigi, trying his hardest to hide the blush crossing his face.

Waluigi shook his head while smiling, "Don't wanna talk about your kinks? Fine with me~!" he bounced up from the couch, "Do you still want your cell?"

"Um, yeah, I swore I heard it ring." Luigi threw an arm at him, "Just go get it, please."

"Only because I _love_ you." Waluigi sighed as he walked out.

* * *

><p>"Je T'aime."<p>

"Non."

"Ti amo?"

"No."

"…ich liebe dich?"

"Nein."

Waluigi quickly fished into his pocket to pull out his phone, fingers tapping across the screen as he pulled up a multi-language dictionary, "Te iubesc?"

"Nu." Luigi quickly retorted, smirking behind a glass of water.

"You're getting really tough, aren't you?" Waluigi narrowed his eyes at his phone, "Ya lyublyu tebya?"

"Nyet."

"Szeretlek?"

"Nem."

"Jag älskar dig?"

"Nej."

"C'mon, man, how do I have to say it?"

"Hmm," Luigi set down his glass, "Well, you've used a translator, so you probably haven't said it right those past few times, so…"

"Then how come you knew how to say no?" Waluigi asked, slamming the phone onto the couch.

Luigi's smile didn't falter, "I'm just that smart, darling."

"Well, stop thinking with your brain and starting thinking with your –" Waluigi started to crawl over to Luigi, stopping when the shorter slapped a hand over his mouth.

"If you're _super_ desperate, then I expect another favor." Luigi growled.

Waluigi rolled his eyes, crawling back and plopping onto his back, "What?"

"I do believe that I forgot to vacuum the hall."

A moment of silence before Waluigi sighed in frustration, rolling off the couch before stumbling off to the hall closet, Luigi watching him while trying to contain his laughter.

* * *

><p>"What else, your majesty?"<p>

"Are my dishes clean?"

"Yes."

"My bed fixed?"

"Yes. Though I don't see why you wanted it fixed."

"Laundry?"

"Done."

"My bills?"

"I paid them for you, love."

"Aww, you're so sweet. What about my groceries?"

"Your kitchen is stocked."

"Refill of wine?"

"I did it long before you asked."

"Oh! Well, how's my yard?"

Waluigi took a deep breath out of frustration before slamming his hands down on the table, "Luigi, I raked your yard, I cleaned out your gutters, I fed your chain chomp, I finished fixing your go-cart, I cleaned your bathroom, I carried your cell phone back and forth to you and your room, I vacuumed the entire house, I made you _another_ pizza, emailed Daisy back, talked to your brother for five seconds on the phone, tended to your dumb garden, got the newspaper for you, reshelfed all your damn books, all the while trying to keep from relieving myself! Is there _anything_ else that you could _possibly _want me to do?!"

Luigi just stared back, taking a small sip from his wine glass, "What time is it?"

"It's freaking nine thirty!" Waluigi snapped, "What, did you want me to sweep your walkway to?"

"No, I was waiting until nine thirty to let you stop," Luigi set the glass down on the table, "Because I wanted you to know exactly what I went through today."

Waluigi's glare only became harsher, "You. Suck."

Luigi laughed as the taller stormed over to the sink, snatching a cup from the cabinet and slamming the faucet on. "Come now, Waluigi, at least you got some exercise."

"I could've gotten more if we had just gone to the bedroom." Waluigi snapped, lifting the cup up for a sip.

"Come now," Luigi's whispering voice came across Waluigi's ear, "You at least get your reward now."

"Shit – " Waluigi tensed up, dropping his cup on the floor as Luigi's arms wrapped around his torso, "Okay, fine, you got your revenge. You gonna let me clean it up?" He asked, pulling on Luigi's sleeve.

"It's just water," Luigi began pulling Waluigi out of the kitchen, "It'll evaporate the sooner we hit the bed."


	30. Nothing More Needed To Be Said

****I'm writing, like, three other WalGi stories. Why can't I focus on those? I have no idea. ****

"How in the world have you managed to go for so long without being kissed so much?" A gloved thumb ran across Luigi's bottom lip, other fingers tightly holding his chin so that wide eyes would be focused upwards. Slowly, the man's mouth opened as he was about to speak, eyebrows curving in embarrassment and worry. "By now your lips should be swollen and bruised."

"W-W-Waluigi, I…" Luigi tried, but found a finger pushed against his lips from the other hand.

"Shh," Waluigi soothed, taking his hand back, "Just be quiet."

Luigi whimpered as he rested his hands against the table, blinking at the taller's devious smile and lust-hazed eyes. Waluigi's eyebrows furrowed as he took note of Luigi's stiff shoulders, "Why are you so on edge?

"T-this is… sudden." Luigi's top lip hit the tip of Waluigi's thumb as he spoke, crimson on his cheeks spreading and darkening, "I mean, all I expected today was a cup of tea and a discussion, like you said you wanted."

"I did want to talk," Waluigi smirked, "I wanted to confess over a spot of tea."

"Y-you really didn't need to do that…" Luigi pushed the hand that held his face still away, looking down now that he was able to, "…this is surprising."

"It's too much? I apologize," Waluigi sat down in his chair that was facing the green-clad male, taking a quick sip of his warm tea, "But I… couldn't figure out how else to tell you, per say."

"W-Well, Waluigi, I appreciate that you feel that way, but, I'm – I'm not really ready to be in any sort of relationship." Luigi lightly pushed his cup away from him, still keeping his eyes on the floor, "You understand, right?"

Waluigi sighed, "I guess I do. But, Luigi –"

"It's sweet that you…think of me that way, though. Thank you." Luigi folded his hands, looking back up to face the other, "Is that all you wanted?"

Waluigi's eyes narrowed as he frowned, "Why? Do you not want to be here?"

"I-it's not that, I have to be getting back home here in a while, Mario's supposed to come home from his latest adventure today and –"

"If that's the case, then by all means go ahead and leave." Waluigi broke in, snatching his cup up and walking over to the sink, "Your brother is much more important."

"A-are you sure? I mean, I can stay if –"

"Yes. Go."

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, but sighed instead as he slowly got up from his chair and began making his way to the door, "Alright then… good-bye."

Waluigi's response was his grip on his cup tightening.

"I-I'll come by tomorrow, maybe…" Luigi turned back and looked the taller, "…around three or so."

Waluigi merely coughed, resuming to glare out the window.

"Right. Bye." Luigi resumed down the hallway, sighing as he reached for his coat that hung on the rack while shaking his head.

_He could still feel the buzz from where Waluigi's thumb had been against his lip…_

Suddenly, there was a loud crack of glass breaking as it hit the floor, "Luigi, wait!"

Luigi had spun around upon hearing shattering, ready to walk back into the kitchen to check on Waluigi. Instead, he yelped as he found himself slammed against the wall, large hands firmly cupping his face.

"I'm sorry," Waluigi said, "But I don't want you to leave yet."

"W-Waluigi –"

When those two pairs of lips met, no more words needed to be said.


	31. Can I Get You Something?

With a blush he looks down, laughing, pressing his wrist to his cheek while his fork in still tangled in his Alfredo. He looks up for a brief moment, sky blue irises glimmering in shy admiration before he returns to a state of looking down and giggling.

I smirk at him, propped up against the table trying to be as chill as possible, "Before he even had a chance to get his fat ass up, they kicked him and he went rolling down the hill like a log. Think he broke his back, but I was laughing too hard to make sure."

"Oh, dear. Well, who would've cared anyway?" He asks, "Nobody likes him that much anyways..."

"True, true, true." I nod, admiring as his face returned to the same shade of pale that it normally was.

"So, um, Waluigi," he began after a moment of silence, "Today's competition was harsh, no?"

"Very harsh. You looked like you were about to collapse from playing so much." I reply, deciding to keep my comment about how his body looked so damn screwable and -

Ahem.

"Well, Mario sorta made me do it. I was the only one that actually practiced y'know." He twisted his fork mindlessly, "You were graceful as always." He bats his eyes, like the girly man that he is.

"Of course, I'm always a beast at striker games." I grin as I stroke my ego, "You not gonna eat?"

"O-oh, um, yeah, I am..." He blushes once more, focusing on wrapping noodles around his fork.

I chuckle; sometimes he's too damn cute for his own good.

"Oh! I'm so rude! Did you want anything?" He sits up, worried curves forming in his eyebrows.

I shake my head, "No, no, I already barged into your house while you were getting ready to eat dinner, no need."

"Are you sure? Not even a glass of water?"

"Hmm..." I grab my chin, "...well, I think I do want something..."

He stands up, "What is it? I'll get it for you."

I smirk as I lean back, "I think I want...the hand of an Italian, to hold as I'm walking down the street with him on a daily basis."

He stops walking towards the fridge as he seems to take in what I just said.

"Or, maybe I'd like a couch that is perfect for cuddling a lean man like you as some movie that you wanted to watch plays on the TV." I nod silently.

He holds his arms as he shyly starts to twist the toe of his shoe on the floor; his blush has started to return.

"Ooh, but if you don't have that then maybe I'll just take a little kiss; a nice smooch on your pale, smooth lips would be a nice little treat. Could you make it a French kiss, if possible?"

He reaches up and touches his lips timidly.

"If you don't have that, then may I ask for an embrace in your bedroom, lulling you to sleep in the warmth my skinny torso can provide just for you? Maybe I can sing for you while I'm at it." I get up from my seat, smiling as I approach with my arms open. When I get close, he flinches and backs away and I follow until I have him pinned against the counter.

"Well?" I ask, pressing my forehead to his, "Can I have any of that, Luigi?"

Luigi bats his eyes once more, "I... I think I can get you a kiss," he reaches up and grabs my chin, "And maybe I can get that couch for you, along with that embrace and hand to hold as you walk down the street."

I nod, "If you don't mind, that's what I want."

He giggles as he pulls our mouths closer, "Certainly, Waluigi."

****A mindless fluffy I wrote at 11:00 pm. I thought it was gonna snow and give my school district a two hour delay. Close, but no cigar ****


	32. I Know How to Rid That Headache

"Well, it's about time you decided to roll out of bed."

Waluigi's head shot up from where he had been looking down at the floor, dropping a bottle of pain pills he had snatched from the bathroom cabinet, "W-what're you doing here?!"

"That's what I asked myself," Luigi turned around from the stove, "when I woke up next to you this morning."

"Y-you're – we – what?" Waluigi's pitch rose as he spoke, "Don't tell me we –"

"Take a look at your bed," Luigi turned back to the stove, staring at the egg he had been cooking, "I'm sure that'll give you an answer."

Waluigi slowly knelt down to pick up the bottle, thankful that no pills had spilled out, "Well, I noticed my bed was, um, kinda messy when I woke up."

Luigi giggled, "You mean really messy? If I remember correctly, you didn't run out of steam until four in the morning. Five minutes breaks in between rounds… I'm surprised my spine isn't broken."

"A-ah… I must've been really… intoxicated." Waluigi sighed as he leaned against the table, "As well as you."

"Hmm," Luigi looked at the other over his shoulder, "You were the one that kissed me back."

"Whoa, wait, _you_ kissed _me_ and _that_ is how we –"

"I was experimenting. Oh, and it wouldn't have gone that far if you kept your hands off my crotch."

Waluigi clawed at the table, "I – I _groped you?!_"

Luigi hummed as he nodded, sliding the egg onto a pate he had sitting on the counter next to him, "You really wanted to get it on, and it didn't matter who you got it on with, as long as you were pleased."

Waluigi narrowed his eyes, "This is why I shouldn't go to Peach's parties. Especially ones that are crazy like last night's."

"Well, _I _had a good time." Luigi pulled a fork out of the drawer, "Especially when you let me on top."

"Damn it, _I let you top me_?" Waluigi worked the bottle open, "This is giving me a headache…"

"But you were fun to ride… though my hips may be bruised now." Luigi silently cut a bit of egg off with the side of the fork, "And you were so sweet the entire time, snuggling with me and kissing my neck, being cheesy and telling me how I was pretty and all."

"Shit, I was out of it." Waluigi held the bottle upside down to his hand, blankly staring at the only pill that came out. "Crap. I'm out of painkillers."

Luigi smirked as he set his fork down, "They say sex is a great alternative to pain medication~."

Waluigi snorted, "Y-you – you – what are you implying?"

Luigi glanced back with half lidded eyes, "Have you even looked at me, Wally?" he fidgeted with the hem of the shirt he was wearing – Waluigi's shirt to be exact. The taller noted how it just _barely_ covered what it needed to, thankful that his body build called for shirts to be tailored as they were. Then he realized it was probably the only thing the shorter had on.

"Y-you're – you – you're not completely dressed." Waluigi stuttered and blinked, his head slightly bobbing as he did so, "You're not completely dressed."

"Well, I was thinking that, maybe, you… did, like me in that way?" Red came across Luigi's cheeks, batting his eyes and lifted a loose fist to his mouth.

Waluigi swallowed, "W-well, I, I can't say that I'd deny that if we really _did…_ you know, and I did what you said I did."

"You do? You like me?" Luigi's eyes lit up.

"S-sure, let's go with that." Waluigi glared off to the side.

Luigi giggled before turning back to his egg, "I'm happy you said that, Wally."

"I bet you are." Waluigi rubbed his temples as he tried to think, "I bet you're just bubbling over with joy and happiness."

"I am!" Luigi spoke through a full mouth, "I'm happy that you're not currently beating my head in like you normally try to do!"

"Yeah, you'd be surprised if I tried to relieve my sexual tension for you in a public place." Waluigi grit his teeth, "Do you happen to have any painkillers?"

Luigi dropped his fork again, "As a matter of fact, I do…" he giggled as he reached for the hem of the shirt.

Waluigi's eyes widened, "L-Luigi, you're not –"

"Yes, I am." Luigi snapped, pausing his action to cross his arms, "Do you not want me to?"

"I – uh – well – not – uh – where are your clothes?" Waluigi quickly walked back towards his bedroom, looking around the floor and gathering every article of clothing that didn't belong to him.

When he turned around to return Luigi's clothes to him, the Italian was right behind him and grabbed him by his shoulder.

"We should take care of that headache, Wally." Luigi purred, causing the taller to drop his clothes and wince – that was actually a very good purr…

"Um, n-no thanks." Waluigi laughed nervously, "I think your brother is looking for you –"

"Who cares?" Luigi began dragging him to the bathroom, "C'mon, I'm sure a steamy shower and another steamy encounter will get rid of that headache really quickly~!"

"U-uh- okay?" Waluigi stumbled along, inwardly excited for the events that were about to happen.

****Eheheh. Bluebruise gave me this idea. I would've continued with that _special_ scene, but... I didn't feel like it. Maybe later. ****


	33. Poofy Pants

****Poofy. I don't care if it's a real word or not. I like it. ****

"Grouchy?"

"What makes you think so?"

"You look like it."

Waluigi didn't even look away from the TV, "I'm fine, okay?"

I crossed my arms, "You're watching a murder fest."

He shrugged, "Nothing else is on."

I smirked at him before I wandered into the kitchen, fishing through the refrigerator for leftover pasta salad and wine. I set everything on the counter as I glanced into the trash can, a ripped up letter was sitting atop of the rest of the garbage.

So, that's what was wrong. I could make out that it was a very formal letter from his previous place of employment basically telling him to go screw himself all because of something that was blamed on him. _I told him not to get that dang job in the first place._

"Hey," I returned, balancing two glasses and the bowl of pasta salad on a tray, "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." He growled.

I sighed as I grabbed the remote, powering off the TV. Waluigi whined as I sat down next to him, placing the tray on the coffee table in front of us, "Then let's just not talk about anything."

He sighed, "I wanna watch TV."

"I wanna I wanna I wanna." I mocked, holding a glass of wine out to him.

He snarled at me before he snatched it, "Eyeballs."

I smiled at him before I let my eyes wander down the rest of his body. Oh, deary, deary me.

He was wearing his poofy pants this afternoon.

I reached over, resting a hand on his thigh and rubbing circles into his skimpy muscle. "That bad of day..."

"Neh." Waluigi took a sip of his wine, bringing his other leg up to wrap his arm around it.

I chuckled and leaned over to kiss his cheek, "It's cute when you wear this."

"I'm not cute, damn it."

"Sure you're not." I rolled my eyes, "Just like you're not when you wear your thigh socks."

Waluigi narrowed his eyes, "Quit poking fun at me for my house wear."

"Oh, Wally, it's all adorable how you can go from black and moody tight fitting overalls to poofy lavender pajama bottoms and fuzzy socks."

"Hn." He sipped his wine.

I knew he wouldn't admit that his choice of clothing was uncomfortable, I'm amazed his overalls haven't suffocated him with how tightly they fit on his slim torso and how he can still feel his legs with how tight they are in the thigh area (need we mention what it does to his poor bum?). Be it a bad day, a long day, or whenever he just feels moody the first thing he does is throw those overalls into the hamper and puts this specific pair of pajama bottoms on. It makes him look disproportionate, as the shirts he chooses still hug his body like his normal attire does, so he looks like someone took his legs and bloated them up.

But if it's something he's comfortable in, I won't tell him what I think about it.

I rubbed his stomach, "Got a tummy ache from tight clothes again?"

"No," he slapped my hand away, "I'd like for you to not do that either."

"Hnm," I picked up the bowl of pasta salad, setting my glass of wine on the table, "But I like rubbing your tummy."

"Makes me feel fat." he snapped.

"Don't even start." I glared at him as I shoved a fork into the pasta, pulling it back out and holding it towards him, "You're about to lose all muscle. Say ahh."

Waluigi shook his head, "Don't wanna."

"Ahh." I repeated.

He glared, "No."

I smirked, "Pretend it's my pe-"

"Oh don't even." Waluigi snapped, that adorable blush of his burning his cheeks.

I waggled my eyebrows, "C'mon~!"

He huffed, "Fine." he opened his mouth slightly, wide enough for me to stick the fork in.

"Don't let it sit in your mouth," I growled as I pulled the fork from his mouth, "Chew and swallow."

He rolled his eyes as he quickly did so, leaning back in surprise whenever I held another forkful out to him.

"Just a little, I'm not gonna kill you." I rubbed his arm, "C'mon."

He hesitantly let me feed him, slowly and calmly until he completely reused to eat anymore. I brushed some hair from his face as I complemented him, "You ate more than half, you're getting better."

"I guess I am." Waluigi downed the rest of his wine, "That'd keep me full for a week."

I snorted, "If you're starving yourself to stay skinny again..."

"I'm not. My stomach is just...small."

I laughed as I pulled him into a hug, "Understandable, love," I kissed his neck, "Now, why don't we go resume winding down?"

He leaned back to look at me, "Shoulder massage?"

"I had something else in mind, but if that's what you want, mi amore." I stood up, "You go wait for me, I'll put this up."

Waluigi kissed me after he stood up, I watched him walk up the stairs with a smile.

Some days, I think he's too sweet for his own good.


	34. Riding Shire Horses

****Hey, guess what? More WalGi goodness. And what do we have this time? Why, look at the title and think for yourself~! (That means there's some Yaoi goodyness goin' on here, don't like don't read).**

**A request for someone on DeviantArt. **  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"You missed some."<p>

"Huh?" Luigi focused on the man standing before him, hand limply hanging onto his ice cream cone, "What do you mean?"

"You got ice cream all over you face," Waluigi reached out, pressing his slender fingers to Luigi's face and brushed harshly against the skin, "You are such a messy eater."

"I - I'm not messy!" Luigi defended, slapping Waluigi's hand away with a harsh smack.

The elder man chuckled, "Don't say it isn't true." He glanced out at the wilderness before him, the tall trees that surrounded Luigi's house proudly standing guard. "What made you decide to eat ice cream anyway?"

"I was craving some," Luigi dragged his tongue up the side of the side cream, putting emphasis on finishing the lick before pulling his tongue back into his mouth, "Besides, it's delicious. Who doesn't want ice cream?"

"I don't." Waluigi rested his head on his hand, propping his arm up against his bony knee, "Its food. I don't like food."

"Of course you don't." Luigi rolled his eyes before sticking his tongue out again, dragging it up the side of the ice cream slower than he did before.

Waluigi sucked in his breath, crossing his legs and leaning back, "I say, it's a little warm out today."

Luigi retracted his tongue to swallow the ice cream, "Well, if you don't like it go inside." He paused as he went to lick the ice cream another time, "Why are you here, anyway?"

"I've nothing else to do, and I felt like bugging you today."

"As always. I've also noticed that you're not always locked up in your house like you normally are, nowadays."

"Well, I made a new resolution this year to get out more, though sometimes I regret it."

"Hmm," Luigi held the ice cream against his lips, "I guess that more or rather less meant to come to my house more often?" Once again he licked the ice cream, batting his eyes that were almost dripping with innocence.

"Not exactly, but...you know..." Waluigi swallowed, taking in the sight before him and letting his brain send saucy ideas to his crotch, "...stuff."

"Stuff, huh?" Luigi smirked, "What kind of stuff?"

"Um...just...ice cream." Waluigi inwardly slapped himself, wincing as soon as the words came from his mouth.

"Oh? You want some?" Luigi shook the cone at the taller, "There's a carton in the freezer if you wanna help yourself."

"I think I'll just go get a drink instead." Waluigi bounced out of his chair, tripping over his feet as he went into the house.

In the kitchen, Waluigi opened the freezer door and shoved his face inside; the cold air nipping at his face was a welcomed relief.

_Either he's doing it to get the best of me, or he doesn't know he's doing it._ Waluigi grit his teeth as he thought, reaching down and cupping his crotch with his shaking hand, _Dammit, he's done it again. Been too cute for his own good! One of these days I'll end up raping him!_

"My ice cream fell."

Waluigi jerked away from the freezer, hiding his hands behind his back, "U-uh, sorry?"

"Nya, just made a mess, is all." Luigi, with ice cream splattered on his face, smiled as he sauntered to the paper towel dispenser, giving Waluigi a teasing glance out of the corner of his eye before ripping a towel and wiping his face clean, _Damn it, why does it have to be vanilla?!_

Luigi tossed the towel in the trash, "So, are you okay? You had your head in the fridge and you were groping yourself-"

"All is fine!" Waluigi snapped, "Just a little woozy is all."

"With the urge to use the bathroom?" Luigi seemed to giggle, earning a disgusted glare from the other, "Oh, I'm just teasing, Wally." He waggled his eyebrows, "In more than one way."

Waluigi groaned, "Either you're serious or you're taking lessons from Daisy."

"Well, she did tell me that horseback riding's fun." Luigi picked a cucumber from a basket if vegetables he had on the counter, softly nibbling on the end of it while approaching Waluigi.

"S-so what're you saying?" Waluigi snapped, backing away quickly.

"She said that mustangs are quite fun to ride," Luigi continued following him, "I think I wanna ride a Shire horse, though."

"L-L-L-Luigi, this is a very scary side if you!" Waluigi tripped over the edge of the living room rug, falling onto the couch safely with arms flailing in surprise.

The smaller Italian chuckled, quickly straddling Waluigi's hips and just barely sitting on the noticeable bulge in between his legs, "I don't like them when they're tamed, though. I like trying to be the one who tames them." Every word that came out of his mouth was laced with lust, the flirtatious giggle that followed sending a chill down Waluigi's bony spine. "Question is, are you gonna be easy?"

"Ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhhahahahhaugh, L-Luigi, you're such-such a-a-" Waluigi began, feeling all of his skin raise and crawl around.

"A bad boy? I bet I am." Luigi plopped down on the taller's erection, earning a sharp gasp and pleasure drunken groan in response, "If anything, I think that the horse just might throw me off and trample my ass." He tentatively licked the side of the cucumber, "But then again that might make me angry, and then I'll try to ride him again," Luigi pressed down, rolling his hips back and forth so that his crotch was pushing against Waluigi's in a slow, torturous manner, "I won't stop until I've tamed him, either. Then he'll melt _every_ time I mount him."

Waluigi fisted the couch cushions, weakly bucking his hips up in a weak attempt to get more friction, "D-damn it, damn it Luigi!"

Luigi throatily chuckled, turning his head to the side as he took the end of the cucumber into his mouth, humming as he slightly sped up the pace of his hip rolls and sucking on the cucumber.

"S-st-stop, Luigi-Luigi-Lu-Luigi, sto-stooooooop!" Waluigi whined.

"Ah, sounds like I'm taming a horsey now~!" Luigi momentarily took the cucumber out to comment, now quickening his pace.

Waluigi panted, now bucking and clawing desperately with the corners of his eyes stinging, bottom lip starting to swell from his constant biting on it. That sight, that feeling, Luigi inappropriately half-eating a cucumber and pretending to ride him, not to mention that this man was the definition of adorable, all of it was blending rapidly in Waluigi's head so much that he didn't have any more control of his body. He wanted to throw that man on the floor, place that cucumber somewhere else, show him what riding a Shire horse was like, oh, how badly he wanted it!

Then, all of those thoughts powered his climax, he hissed like a snake as he arched his back and squeezed the life out of the couch cushions. He faintly heard Luigi's own mewl of satisfaction, said man's vocals highly pitched and shaky. Waluigi's brain took forever to wind back down, relaxing all of his tense muscles and focusing his attention back on Luigi.

"Ah, he might be tamed now~," Luigi giggled, nibbling on the end of the cucumber again, "I wonder how well he is tamed, though?"

Waluigi narrowed his eyes and growled.

"Ooh, angry horsey!" Luigi winked.

"Oh, I'm angry alright." Waluigi sat up, grabbing Luigi by the shoulders and shoving him into the floor, immediately straddling the shorter man and pinning his arms to the carpet, "So angry I could trample you."

"Oh! Oh dear!" Luigi cried in mock fright.

"Yeah, that's right, cry in fear, 'cause when this horse tramples, he doesn't show any mercy." Waluigi worked Luigi's hands so he could have them both pinned with one hand, using the other to slide down Luigi's shoulder to the overall strap. He carelessly worked it free, quickly doing the same to the other, "This scrawny little ass just might be too bruised to ride again, when I'm done with it."

"Aah! I actually like the sound of that~!" Luigi purred airily.

"I bet you do, you no good excuse for a horse tamer!" Waluigi worked Luigi's overalls down with sharp jerks, "I'll show you why you should be careful around a mad Shire horse!"

* * *

><p>"Ah!"<p>

"Yeah?! Yeah?! You like that!?"

"A-aaah!"

"You like riding Shire horses now, Luigi?!"

"S-si! Si! Si! Cazzo! More! More! There!"

"Così?!"

"C-Così! Si!"

"You went a little far this time." Rosalina muttered, backing away from the door with a heavy blush on her face.

"At least he took my advice," Daisy's smile grew wider, listening to the screaming coming from inside, "I should've given Luigi a riding crop, though. That would've been awesome."

"I think they would have killed each other with it." Rosalina deadpanned, wincing at Waluigi's scream about his "horsepower."

"You gotta admit though," Daisy snickered, "this is hilarious as well as nose-bleed inducing." Said princess held a tissue to her nose, giggling as the white cloth slowly turned red. "Hee hee!"


	35. Breaking In

"Ugh, disgusting."

Waluigi merely glanced over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at the man tied up behind him, "What is?"

"This whole situation," the man struggled against the ropes that kept him from using his arms, "I think we can come to an agreement, no?"

"You were the one stupid enough to come all the way out here, sir." Waluigi flicked at the side of his cup, thinking about many routes he could take from here.

The man scoffed, his mask shrinking around his eyes as he squinted, "I wasn't stupid for coming out here; I was stupid for getting caught."

"So you claim." Waluigi calmly approached the man, fingers drumming against his cup as he smiled, "Who are you, anyway? Some idiot trying to be a ninja?"

"Still your tongue, imbecile! I'm Mr. L! Remember that!" The man snapped, furiously struggling against his restraints, "You were just lucky to have captured me, is all!"

"Hmm, Mr. L? What, did you not like your old name?" Waluigi hovered over the shorter character, "I'm sure 'Mr. L' is a name hard to come by in a preschool."

"I can call myself whatever the hell I please." Mr. L snarled, "Quit that."

"Quit what?"

"Your picking!"

"Oh, so bad boy Mr. L's feelings are getting hurt because I'm poking fun at his name?"

Mr. L groaned, his head lolled down and his shoulders slumped, "Why, just why?" he hissed.

Waluigi held the cup out over the man, "So, Mr. L, what exactly made you want to break into my house this time of night?"

"I aimed to get your head," Mr. L began, "I didn't know you were an insom-what the hell are you doing?" His eyes widened as he looked up, "Pouring a drink on me? How mature."

"Not just any drink," Waluigi grinned, "an icy cold cup of water."

Mr. L giggled, "Like that's gonna do anything."

Waluigi frowned, sharply rotating his wrist so that the top of the cup faced downwards. The contents inside came down in a large mass of cold displeasure, water and ice smashing against Mr. L's head and back in the blink of an eye. Said man's mouth gaped in shock, his shoulders arched in surprise and his spine shook from the sudden cold, "_H-haugh!_"

"Ah ha, not so badass now, are we Mr. L?" The trademark simper of deviousness came across Waluigi's face, basking in the sight of the other hunched forward, mouth open and frowning in discomfort, and eyebrows furrowed in disgust.

"Y-you bastard! T-that's cold!" Mr. L snapped, closing his eyes and quietly whimpering.

"Of course it is. I just said it was iced water." Waluigi knelt down, "You said a second ago it'd do nothing."

"I-I wasn't ready for it! Quit your laughing!"

"But this is hilarious," Waluigi set the now empty cup on the table; "I bet you're very humiliated now, aren't you?"

"Humiliation? Ha! Humiliation is not in my dictionary!" Mr. L shivered, "You just can't-g-get your hands off of me!"

"Technically, my hands are not on you," Waluigi's fingers slid under the black overall straps, lifting them away from Mr. L's shoulders, "They are on your clothes."

"Which are on me, therefore you _are_ touching me. Do I need to get any more technical with you?"

"Not really, but it's cute that you feel like you should. Aren't you cold?"

"Of course not, I'm as warm as can be." Mr. L leaned back, wincing as his shirt stuck to his back, making the cold feeling worse.

"Ah, you should be the next Pinocchio with how much you lie! You're shivering like crazy!" Waluigi snorted, hands flat against the curve of Mr. L's shoulders, "Didn't your parents ever teach you better?"

"Didn't your parents ever tell you to keep your hands off of people you don't know?" Mr. L shrugged gently, "Why are you looking at me like that? You're scaring me!"

Waluigi raised his eyebrows, "You remind me… of someone just as whiny as you are. Except he whines like a small child, you whine like a spoiled teenager."

Mr. L straightened his back, "I'm sure it's just coincidence, you frog."

"Hmm, maybe, maybe not." Waluigi leaned in, "Something tells me you'd kiss like him as well."

"Oh, _now _you _kiss_ strangers? You, good sir, are terribly desperate!" Mr. L tried to lean away, the back of the chair preventing him from going any farther than he already was, "Stop! Stop!"

"Wah ha ha, ahh, no." Waluigi sneered, "I'm sure I know you."

"You don't know me!"

"Oui, I do~!"

"You fu-"

Waluigi harshly pressed his lips against Mr. L's, sliding a hand to the back of his head to keep him still. The shorter grunted, opening his mouth in an attempt to try to bite the taller's lip, only to feel an unwelcomed tongue hurriedly snake in and tauntingly slide against the roof of his mouth.

Mr. L's eyes screwed shut, prepared to smash his teeth around the muscle whenever his own started fighting back, twisting around and pushing, the taste of the other almost inducing harsh gags.

He finally decided to twist his head to the left, rewarding him with a small lick of saliva on his cheek, "You… you _disgust me!_" Mr. L kicked a leg, "Nasty, I can't stand you any longer! Untie me!"

"You really think I'm gonna do that?" Waluigi deadpanned, pressing his mouth to the skin of Mr. L's neck, "Especially when you're about to melt right here?"

"What do-_aiuhhh…_" With a slight nip at his skin, warm breath running against his jugular, the black-clad male instantly surrendered by relaxing and sighing in enjoyment.

The elder male chuckled, "Nice try, _Mr. L,_ but next time you should try a little harder."

"Don't mock!" Mr. L jerked his entire body, scaring Waluigi into backing away, "Don't laugh! Don't do anything! You will not best me tonight, no sir!"

"Oh, alright, I guess I'll get you go," Waluigi slinked around behind the chair, calmly undoing the ropes that held the man in place and carelessly letting them fall onto the floor, "I'd like to say just one thing before you go."

"Ugh, what, you bastard?" Mr. L grunted, standing up and shaking at the new sudden rush of wind that hit the back of his still wet shirt, "I don't like being in these damp clothes!"

"Ah, nothing much, but…" Waluigi leaned over, whispering into his ear, "…_je suis grand~…_"

Mr. L whipped around, stumbling against the chair and tackling Waluigi to the floor.

* * *

><p>Waluigi frowned at the sun, stinging at his eyes through the kitchen window. He raised his hand, letting the shadow cover his eyes and readjusted his nightshirt.<p>

He was slightly disappointed, when he woke up this morning, finding the bed space next to him was empty. Then again, he was giddy, for when did he ever have intercourse with a man who tried to break into his house to supposedly kill him?

Or so, that was what the man said. Waluigi knew that character wasn't Mr. L, but it was fun to somewhat play along. It was more than likely one of the better nights of his life, he decided.

"Breaking and entering!" The front door slammed open, Waluigi jumped, hissing through his teeth, "Good morning, Wally~!"

"Muh." Waluigi replied, glaring at the gleeful Italian that skipped into the kitchen, "You look like you got some good sleep."

"I did~!" Luigi giggled, "I had a very good night's sleep!"

Waluigi smirked, "Before or after you broke into my house?"

Luigi's smile slowly faded away as he frowned, "Huh?"

"Last night, you wore some black ensemble and broke into my house…" Waluigi cocked his head in confusion, "…you don't remember that?"

Luigi shook his head, "No…I'm pretty sure I'd remember that."

"B-but you did it! You seriously did it!" Waluigi held his arms out at the chair, "You don't remember breaking in, getting caught, and being wrangled in here so I could tie you up to this chair? You don't remember you were pretending to be some Mr. L guy?"

"N-no, Wally, I don't…" Luigi's eyes widened, "…are you sure you didn't have a dream or something?"

"It wasn't a dream, it was real!" Waluigi snapped, "I know it because this morning this chair was still knocked over!"

"Waluigi, I don't remember anything like that happening at all." Luigi blinked, "Was that all that happened? He broke in and you tied him up?"

"W-well, I, er, thought that it was you and…coaxed him into…um…" Waluigi bit his lip.

"Go on." Luigi growled, "What did you do?"

"Had him…stay the night." Waluigi nodded, "Yes, he stayed the night, but this morning he was gone."

"When you say, 'stayed the night,' did that mean that he had tea with you?" Luigi narrowed his eyes.

Waluigi swallowed, "W-well, since I thought he was you I kinda… made him…ah, 'get nasty' with me."

"You had s-!"

"I thought he was you, I thought he was you, I thought he was you!" Waluigi held his hands up in defense, "He _looked_ like you, he _sounded_ like you, he _acted_ like you do when you're mad!"

Luigi scoffed. "Lovely, Waluigi, lovely."

Waluigi sighed, "Luigi, I swear that I'd never-"

"I'd say with how you're starting to sleep more, you're getting some pretty _crazy_ dreams, Wally." Luigi shrugged, "But if you think that it actually happened, I'll let you think that. I personally think that the chances of a man very similar to me breaking into your house and sleeping with you are very, very slim. Oh, and talk to your doctor about having 'very realistic dreams,' sometime soon."

Waluigi's eyes widened, "B-but, this chair-"

"You probably sleep walked or something," Luigi calmly slid past the other, "I don't know how else to explain this, but I seriously think you had a dream."

"B-but…" Waluigi's shoulders slumped, "…I swore it was…"

"Using your bathroom!" Luigi called, shutting the door behind him before he turned to grin at his reflection, chuckling at himself.

"You're so devious, Luigi." He whispered to himself.

* * *

><p><strong>**Oh, I'm so mean.<strong>

**I've had a lot of Mr.L/Waluigi things in my mind for a long while now, and I just wrote this to help me get over my current "phase" of derpy fangirlyness. ****


	36. Muffin'

****Warning: I fail at writing drunk people. ****

* * *

><p>"Yu-yuuu-you're a-a-shcw-schweet man, taking time out uf shour night ta wa-walk me hame."<p>

"Shut up Waluigi, you're too drunk to be talking."

"Druh-druhnk? Whazzat?"

"Be quiet, seriously, it's bad enough you were about to be found by a cop."

"You shaying you a caaaaaap, Luigeeeeee?"

"Damn it, Waluigi, just shut up!"

The intoxicated man laughed, stumbling for the millionth time and forcing Luigi to half carry and half drag him down the street, "Ohh, wait, you're Luu-Luah-Luigi." Waluigi laughed, "You've a fuuuunny name."

"Compared to yours mine is normal as ever," Luigi grunted, eyeing Waluigi's secluded house at the end of the street, "I want you to start carrying your own weight for a few more steps, okay?"

"Hmmeugh," Waluigi tried to stand up and walk on his own, only to fall down a few steps later. It was as if he was a child learning how to walk again, except more clumsy and annoying. "I hate joo, shidewahlk!"

Luigi sighed in frustration, calmly kneeling down and helping Waluigi stand again, "Please, Waluigi, learn to walk again, quickly."

"B-buh…" Waluigi leaned against the shorter, "…waiiit. Whai are you helpin' meh?"

"Because I'm a good person," Luigi snapped, "and because you were sitting in an alleyway crying and drinking like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow."

Waluigi became silent, occasionally grunting and huffing as he and Luigi made their way to his front door, scuffing shoes and fringing pant legs all the way. The elder man fell to his knees at the steps to his house, crawling up the steps towards the door and clawing at it with his fingers.

"You're pitiful," Luigi shook his head, "just plain pitiful."

"Oppehn aup, yoo stoopeeed durr!" Waluigi yelled, punching the wood weakly, "I wanna get outta dis outdoorshynessh."

Luigi stepped over the other, twisting the knob and finding that the door was securely locked up. Grunting, he knelt down and began digging through Waluigi's pockets for a house key, blushing as the taller started making comments.

"Ahh, wanna fffeel meh up, eh Ayebahls? Ya wanna get tah know meh better, ash in bodywaishe?"

"Shut up, you pervert, I'm just looking for your house key."

"Move your hand to da left some~!"

"Not that."

"Weheheheh~!"

"Be quiet."

"Ah, c'mon, Ayebullz, ya know yoo wanna summa dis."

"No, actually, I don't."

"I bet yoo've gotta prehtey body."

"Quit being so perverted."

"Nice ass."

"Wow, you become so nice when you're drunk."

"Shank yoo."

Luigi triumphantly pulled a key from Waluigi's pocket, patting the other's back before he stood up to unlock the door, "You better thank me now that you're home."

"Ah, home?" Waluigi watched as Luigi pushed the door open, "Ohhhh, hooooome. A place where you cry about life 'n shtuff."

The shorter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "What?"

"Muffin'." Waluigi began crawling inside his house, "Jus' muffins."

"Oh, I bet it's muffins." Luigi snorted, following him inside and closing the door behind him, "Here, let me help you to the couch."

Waluigi rolled onto his back, "Wai dun't yoo go home?"

"Because I'm being nice and helping you," Luigi growled, grabbing Waluigi by his ankles and dragging him to the living room, "I'm not just gonna leave you in the floor."

"Oh, whaa da yoo care?" Waluigi threw a hand at him, "Yoo're a'ways off enjoying yoo're harpy go rucky life of adventure and caring family and bla."

"Oh, so you think." Luigi muttered, wrapping his arms around Waluigi's torso before lifting him up and dropping him onto his couch, moving his legs up afterwards.

Waluigi's eyes widened, "Whoaaa, you actually picked me up!"

"Uh huh." Luigi deadpanned, "Listen, don't be drinking in alleyways again. People thought that your crying was a cat getting mauled."

"I-I wa-was crying? Ooh yaaah, I 'member wai I wasssa drinkin's…" Waluigi frowned, "…buh I dun wanna 'member."

Luigi cocked his head, "There are healthier ways of feeling better, y'know."

"Ah, what's it ta you?" Waluigi snapped, "Git yur perty face outta mah house." He flopped over onto his side, facing the back of the couch and crossing his arms in anger.

"Oh, c'mon now, Wally," Luigi gently placed a hand on the drunken character's shoulder, "I don't like it when you're sad. What's wrong with you?"

"Muffin! Gooo awaaiiiii." Waluigi shrugged Luigi's hand away, obviously annoyed by the attention.

Luigi rolled his eyes, "Fine, whatever, good-bye." he snapped, storming towards the door as loud as he could. Once at the entrance, he yanked the door open and slammed it closed to make it sound like he left before quietly slinking back into Waluigi's living room to keep an eye on him.

When he returned, he heard Waluigi quietly sniffling, "Damn it, damn it damn it damn it…" he hiccupped, "…why, why is this happening to me?"

Luigi's eyebrows curved in worry, he silently sat on a chair and leaned forward, intently listening to Waluigi as he continued to cry.

"I have nuthin'. No friends, no family, no happiness, nuthin', just muffin!"

Luigi tried not to laugh at Waluigi's mix up of words.

"I dun't even have da guts to say what I fuuh-feel anymore. Newp, just drinking and smokin' like I used to 'cause I thought it'd-a make meh cool, now I do it jus' 'cause I got no way of tellin' Ayebuals what I wanna tell 'im."

The sober Italian straightened his spine.

"I tink I wash hittin' on 'im earlier. Nononononono, I'm shtoopid! Das no way of sayin' wha I wanna say…"

Luigi leaned forward expectantly.

"Pleash, jus' pleash, someday, I wanna look at 'im 'n go, 'Ay, Luigi, I love ya!' completely shober and serious like." Waluigi waved his arm around, "Buh no, ai gotta be a pansy, I gotta bully 'im, I gotta prove I'm-a bedder dan 'im, 'cuz I'm-a shtoopid moron."

Luigi's eyes widened in surprise.

"Ohh, Luigi, dere's nobody else like ya. Blue eyes, perfect shkin, ador-ador-adoraaaahh-c-cute laugh, ngh, gah, dere's no one elshe like yoo. I've looked. Muffin."

He leaned back in thought, blushing at Waluigi's drunken comments.

"Buh I know you'll nevah love meh back, 'cuz I'm-a jerk face." Waluigi sighed, "I jus' wanna make ya happy, be wit ya, 'n maybe fight over shtoopid stuff with ya. Buh I can't."

Luigi nervously tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair.

"'Cuz frankly, you look happier without me."

* * *

><p>"Waluigi?"<p>

"Weh."

"Waluigi, c'mon, open your eyes,"

"I-I can't.."

"C'mon, Wally, you can do it."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, fine. Just open your eyes."

Waluigi only managed to squint his eyes, hissing at the sunlight that came through the windows and hit his face. He covered his eyes with his arm, kicking in pain and cursing the sun.

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry," The room suddenly became darker, Waluigi moved his arm and tried to focus, "I forgot how light can be with a hangover sometimes."

Waluigi winced, "Don't talk so loud," he whispered, "That hurts my head."

"Sorry! Um, there's some water and stuff on the table…"

Waluigi groaned, flipping onto his stomach to reach the glass of water and tablets beside it, he carelessly tossed the tablets into the water, waiting a few seconds for the water to stop fizzling before proceeding to take a large gulp. He coughed, too much water in his throat at once!

"Be careful, please!"

"Shut up." Waluigi slammed the cup back onto the table, burying his face in the pillow, "Go 'way."

"Waluigi, you do realize who you're talking to, right?"

The purple clad male lifted his head slightly to look at the other, "Oh, Eyeballs. What're you doing here?"

Luigi folded his hands together nervously, "I helped you get home last night, as well as helped you onto the couch and-"

"Jus' say you helped me," Waluigi snapped, "I thought you left, anyway?"

"Well, I was concerned so I just, um, stayed." Luigi blushed, chuckling sheepishly, "I knew you were gonna be a mess this morning and all, so I spent the night here."

Waluigi's eyes widened, "Seriously?" He winced, grabbing his head as a sharp needle of pain pieced it.

"Um, yes, I did." Luigi continued, "I think you should stop getting drunk in public, mainly in alleyways."

"As you've said before."

"You were sobbing next to a dumpster with who knows how many empty bottles of alcohol next to you, Waluigi. If a policeman found you, you'd be in jail right now."

"For public intoxication? What would I have done?"

"Oh, I dunno, graffiti?"

"True, true."

"But then again, you were crying and upset…"

Waluigi shrugged, "Sometimes, you gotta drink to help deal with something."

Luigi rolled his eyes, "No you don't."

"So you say," Waluigi snorted, "You've got, what? At least four people to vent to? I have no one."

Luigi snorted, "You have, 'muffin,' rather."

Waluigi looked up, "Muffin?"

"Last night every time you tried to say 'nothing,' you'd say 'muffin.'"

"Oh, damn it," Waluigi rolled onto his back, "Okay, so I'm an idiot when I'm drunk, so what?"

"It was kind of cute." Luigi giggled, smile turning into a frown as he caught Waluigi's face turning red, "I-I'm sorry…"

"Whatever, you've done enough damage today, go home." Waluigi snapped, waving Luigi away, "Shoo shoo."

Luigi stomped his foot, "Oh, c'mon now, I'm helping you!"

"You're being too loud." Waluigi hissed, clawing at his head again, "Aiiiiiugh!"

"Then how's about this?" Luigi pushed Waluigi up by his shoulders, sitting down on the couch where the taller's head would lay before letting said man's head fall into his lap. Strands of mud colored hair were gingerly brushed from his eyes, gentle fingers tracing Waluigi's facial features.

With wide eyes, Waluigi stared back up at the green clad man in confusion, "W-what's this?"

"This is me being nice," Luigi whispered, slowly combing his fingers through Waluigi's hair, "I want you to quit being angry and relax."

Waluigi shook his head, "N-no, you should go-"

"I'm not happy when you're frustrated like this, Waluigi." Luigi snapped, "And I'm not gonna leave here until you are feeling better-mentally and physically."

Empty eyes squinted as tears stung at their corners, "You're actually…being…nice…because you're not happy?"

"Si," Luigi gave a sad smile, "But enough about that. Does your head still hurt?"

"It's killing me."

"Okay, okay, shh…" Luigi coaxed, gently placing a finger over Waluigi's lips, "…just sleep it off."

Waluigi shook his head slightly before finally giving up. He appeared to be soothed by the calm atmosphere of the dimmed room, head comfortably resting on Luigi's thighs. After a few minutes, the Italian dared to try to hum a gentle lullaby to try to coax the other into sleeping, low notes and very soft sounds coming from his vocal cords. Waluigi twitched his head slightly in response-as if he were annoyed with the humming. But his eyes slowly started to close and his body began to slack, slowly slipping away into a peaceful repose.

Luigi sighed with relief when he found Waluigi was peacefully snoozing, quickly falling into slumber himself after letting his head roll onto the back couch cushion.

* * *

><p><strong>**I wrote this last Monday before I had to leave for my college class. Didn't get around to finishing it until today, right before I have to go to the same class. **<strong>


	37. Good Bye

Good bye, sapphire dyed eyes.

Farewell, smooth, tanned skin.

Never to meet again, silky, rose lips.

Buona notte, forever, to the sweet vanity that brought him joy every single day.

A tear rolls down his face as he stares into the fire, watching the rose that was meant for his sweetheart of choice blacken and crumple in the arms of the flame. He leans back in his chair and he contemplates what he next move should be in this situation.

Keep trying?

No.

It would have been no use.

Move on?

Never.

There was no one else like him.

Admit he lost his love to a foreign prince?

Impossible.

He could never do that.

So long, that adorable laughter, full of bubbles and sugar.

Au revoir, that rich Italian accent, slick with rolled r's and emphasized t's.

Best wishes to that soft, soothing mumble that eased his worries.

He slowly stands from the chair, feet scuffling along the floor as he makes his way to his messy, barely used kitchen. A drawer groans as his long, bony fingers pull it open slowly. Inside, what little silverware he owns glimmers tauntingly in the moonlight coming through the window, the blade of the sharp knife the brightest.

Best wishes, to a man who became a field of flowers when he was happy.

Happy thoughts to a man whose tantrum was the equivalent of that to a tsunami.

Joyful songs to a man who brings the rain when he cries.

A cheerful life to a man who could brighten up his world any day.

He plays with the knife as he recalls the number of times he could have spoken up. The thought of stabbing himself out of agony is revolting to him, so he drops the knife onto the counter and makes his way to his fridge, where a collection of alcohol would make a drunkard dance with joy.

He spends the next few hours drinking his pain away, consuming drink after drink, until his stomach is on fire and he can barely see straight anymore.

So long, blue eyed, gorgeous man.

Farewell, music box of glee.

Good bye, the man that he loved, the one he abused, the one who he was not worthy for.

He closed his eyes, feeling the fingers of either exhaustion or death wrap around him. The bottle he held fell onto the floor beside him as his head flopped back onto the arm of the couch.

He hoped this was it.

Good bye, Luigi, he thought.

Good bye.

****Late night role playing equals this. Sad little drabble. ****


	38. Garden of Piranha

A wondrous garden takes wondrous effort. Just throwing plants in the ground and sitting inside waiting for them to grow was not going to give anyone a jaw dropping yard, just a few plants struggling to survive against weeds and grass trying to grow in whatever dirt was there.

Waluigi knew this very well, even though it meant he had to do the one thing he hated doing—putting in effort. However, he had come to enjoy working hard in his plot, it was quiet and cool and he could work on it at his own pace.

For the majority of his adult life, Waluigi always had a thriving garden that would be pleasing to anyone's eye.

If those people liked rows of piranha plants.

Of course, it was not the only thing he planted—rose bushes lined the patch, growing against the outside of the fence, and in the middle there was a circular plot dedicated to only eggplants (it was hard to find fresh ones in the market, let alone ones that were a decent size).

The rest of the rows were for piranha plants only. Rows as long as twenty feet were needed to support the plants and their long, twisty roots and hyper attitudes. They needed space to move and bite at stuff freely without trying to kill each other.

The rows also had to be placed in strategic areas around the plot—normal piranha plants would take up a couple of rows wherever Waluigi felt like putting them, putrid piranhas would take up the back rows so that they wouldn't stink up the rest of the garden, inky piranhas would fill up the rows closer to the road (which barely had anyone on it, but it was still a security system that worked well), prickly piranhas were always on the far left, and the row on the far right was reserved so that his new breed of bone piranhas could grow in the shade of the large trees surrounding the house, right next to the pale piranhas that he had acquired last year.

It sounded hideous, yes, but whenever the plants were fully grown and waving their heads around it was one of the more beautiful sights Waluigi could stand to look at. The colors mixing around, their cheerful chirping sounds as they realized the day had come resonating through the air, relishing the warm sunshine that the frost piranhas in the freezer would hiss at.

Since today was the first warm day of the year (which meant that many more muggy days were to come), Waluigi decided it was time to break out the shovels and tilling machine to start on his little patch of paradise.

It was eight in the morning, the earliest the man was willing to get up for his garden. He set his shovel against the fence before pulling the gate back, a small smile coming across his face upon hearing the familiar squeaking cry. He took a glance at the grass-spotted dirt inside, smile quickly fading as he snarled at the amount of extra, unwanted vegetation within the fenced area.

Waluigi left the gate open as he slowly sauntered into the backyard, eyeing the run-down shed that housed his tilling machine and a few other, miscellaneous gardening supplies. He had to yank the wooden door back, causing some dirt to fly into the air and around his face, which he merely ignored as he reached in for the dust covered machine.

It was hard trying to get it back to the garden, for it was heavy and bulky (he wondered why he still had the stupid thing, then he recalled his lack of spare cash to buy a new one). As he dragged, he left wide and flat trail marks in the grass, occasionally getting caught on a small branch here and there.

When he finally managed to get the tiller to the garden, Waluigi huffed and leaned against the wooden planks, taking the opportunity to catch his breath. The thought of clapping his hands together and calling it a day was tempting, but he knew it was either now or never to get these piranha plants in soil. With a sigh, he then worked the machine through the gate, noting how getting it inside was the easiest task he had with it so far.

Now, to start it up.

Waluigi knelt down and looked at the small gas indicator, shoulders slumping when it read as almost empty. Another sigh, he stood up and went back to the shed for the gas can, which he knew very well was filled to the brim with the foul smelling liquid.

The trip was quick, yet whenever he returned there was somebody standing next to the fence, peeking inside and seemingly eyeing the old machine that sat inside.

Waluigi dropped his gas can in surprise, "Y-you! Get out of there! Don't you know you're trespassing, you-you-!"

Said person turned around, yelping in shock and clasping his white gloved hands together, holding them to his chest as he registered the loud yelling that had scared him. He then fiddled nervously, reaching up to his green cap and slightly adjusting it, kicking his toe into the dirt sheepishly.

The other man narrowed his eyes, adjusting his shirt and slightly blushing, "Luigi? What are you doing here?"

Luigi lifted his eyes from the grass, "I just thought I'd stop by and see you, since I was in the area…"

Waluigi scoffed, "Yeah, hello to you as well. Now, are you gonna till my garden or are you gonna leave?"

"Oh, how polite of you to tell me my options," Luigi reached back, grabbing the handle on the tilling machine, "I didn't know you kept a garden…"

"I didn't know you'd care." Waluigi picked up the gas can, "Move."

Luigi quietly stepped away, watching as the elder man lugged the can to the machine. He watched as Waluigi first struggled getting the cap off of both the tiller and the can, then heaved the can up so that the gas would flow through the yellowed tube and into the gas tank. He opened his mouth to speak whenever he noticed that the man's arms were shaking, but closed it to avoid another snarky comment.

Waluigi quickly grew nervous by the Italian's presence, taking his eyes off of what he was doing to eyeball him, "So I presume you're going to till?"

Luigi shook his head, "This thing looks like you couldn't even push it…"

Waluigi slammed the gas can down, tightly closing up the can and tank, "It's because you're a wimp."

"A-am not…" Luigi argued lamely, stepping back as Waluigi moved the gas can to the outside of the fence. Said taller male quickly gave him a snarl before turning back to the tilling machine, saying nothing else to him as he yanked the power cords as hard as his skinny arm could.

The machine sputtered for a few moments, and then finally roared loudly as it came to life. Luigi stumbled away from the large cloud of dark grey smoke that slithered from the engine, escaping to the side of Waluigi's house, where he stood and quietly watched the other push the clumsy machine around the garden.

The dirt turned a darker brown as it was churned about, the grass and weeds that had grown there now being killed under the tiller's blades. It was almost artwork, be it slightly dirty (and sad, for any soul that actually cared about something as meager as grass).

Waluigi almost forgot about his guest as he worked, occasionally seeing green and blue out of the corner of his eye and frowning in distaste at the ground. He tried to appear strong by pushing faster, when really the attention he was getting made his knees shake.

When the entire garden had been thoroughly tilled, Waluigi cut the machine off with a harsh kick at the side, standing back as the engine's cry slowly died down and a numbing silence filled the air. He rubbed the sweat from his forehead, glancing over at the gate where Luigi still stood.

"What do you want, Eyeballs?" Waluigi snarled, grabbing the handle and working the tiller back to the fence gate.

Luigi backed away quietly, fidgeting with his hands behind his back, "You, um, look a little hot…"

"That's because I've been doing this _amazing_ thing, it's called _working!"_ Waluigi snapped, "Meanwhile you've been standing over there all pretty-boy-don't-wanna-mess-up-my-hair-gel!"

"H-have not!"

"Have to!"

"Have not!"

"Then what _have_ you been doing, hm?"

Luigi's eyebrows furrowed in anger, "I-I-I—" he then huffed loudly.

"Exactly." Waluigi finished, pulling the tiller out of the garden and leaving it beside the gate, "You're just here wasting my space. Either help or leave."

"Waluigi—"

"I'm not gonna repeat myself."

Luigi curled up his lip and crossed his arms, "Fine, what do you want me to do?"

Waluigi paused in his walk back to the house, his eyebrows curved in worry and his eyes widened in surprise, "Uh…." He began, leaving his mouth open as his pupils darted around the area, "…you mean you're actually _going_ to help?"

"Yeah, never had anyone help you with your garden before?" Luigi asked, passing the other as he made his way to the house, "It's obvious that I'm not gonna go away."

The taller straightened his spine and growled through his teeth. This was _his_ little paradise that he was making, therefore _he_ had to work on it by himself! He wanted to be alone, just like any other time he did anything around his house—alone, damn it, alone!

…maybe.

He balled up his fists, throwing them at the ground before storming after the shorter Italian, "You're not very good with piranha plants, are you?" he asked, hoping that would veer him away from working.

Luigi turned around with a smirk, "I do consider myself excellent when it comes to handling them."

Waluigi grinned, "Good, then you'll have a _blast!"_ he sang before he slammed the back door open, revealing shelves of tiny piranha plants, squirming and biting at the air, some chirping in surprise, others cocking their bud-heads at the two men in confusion.

Obviously taken aback, Luigi's confident simper quickly fell from his face as his eyes darted all over the room. Waluigi pushed past him to get inside, rubbing his fingertip on the top of a plant's head, "Look at these beauties, all eager to get outside and get growing in nature. They've been sitting in this room for the past month!"

"U-uh-I figured you had something else in mind when you said you had a garden." Luigi swallowed nervously.

"As do most everyone else." Waluigi turned to face the other, "If this makes you squeamish, you can just plant some rose bushes."

Luigi's shoulders relaxed, "That sounds more like my thing…"

"Good!" Waluigi motioned to the bare root roses he had in a corner, "There you are. Get started."

oOo

"I'm done!"

Waluigi flinched at the sound of Luigi's cheery voice, curling his lip up and staring at the fence as he flushed slightly. He would have tightened his fingers around what he was holding, had it not been a small and innocent spiked piranha gleefully admiring the sky. "Did you use all of them?" He asked, using his free hand to trace circles in the small hole he had dug for said plant.

"Si! Used them all, six inches apart, all around the outside of the fence!" Luigi beamed, resting his dirt stained gloves on his hips.

Waluigi gently set the plant down, using his hands to push dirt into the space around it, "Well, you can get started on my eggplants then."

He could hear Luigi sighing, trudging back to the house as his feet scuffled against the grass.

Waluigi inwardly gloated about more alone time before he remembered the little spot in the middle of the garden reserved for the vegetable. His spine curled as he slumped down, the little piranha plant before him cocking its head in confusion.

"I see you're almost done with those spiky piranhas." Luigi skipped back in, holding the seedlings in a messy heap with his arms, "Have you been pricked by them yet?"

Waluigi shook his head, "No, no, never have…"

"That's good! I hate getting pricked by plants, it hurts so much…" Luigi then went on about a time when he hurt himself on some plant, but Waluigi didn't bother listening. Instead, he quietly resumed putting the piranha plants into the ground, ignoring Luigi's rattling.

Or, tried to, rather.

There was something about that adorable voice that just made him listen.

oOo

"Look, we're almost done!"

"We're?"

Luigi's grin didn't falter, "Yeah, we worked on this together, did we not?"

Waluigi patted the dirt around a normal piranha plant, wanting to smile at its reaction of squirming wildly as it tickled him, but instead bit his lip and narrowed his eyes at Luigi's comment, "I guess we did."

"And look, if I hadn't been here you'd have to be out here for much longer! The sun's about to go down!"

"Eh."

"You don't sound too happy about that."

Waluigi reached behind him, snagging another plant waiting to get settled into its new home, "So that means you're done here, yes?"

Luigi laughed, "Nope! You've still got these guys left to plant!"

"Don't touch them."

Waluigi's spine froze as he heard a piranha plant hiss. He quickly looked over his shoulder to see Luigi holding one in both of his hands, arms stretched out as to keep it away from his face as he bit and snarled at him. He grit his teeth in nervousness, eyebrows curved in worry and eyes widening in horror. "W-Waluigi, why doesn't it like me?" He asked, like an innocent child.

"Because it doesn't _know_ you," Waluigi rolled his eyes, "They're like a chain chomp, it barks at strangers."

Luigi slowly lowered himself down to his knees, still holding the plant away from him and looking down at the hole that was already dug for it, "Ehhh…"

Waluigi snorted, "It's not gonna poison you, it's just a regular piranha plant!"

"Y-yeah, but its got sharp teeth!" Luigi's body jerked back as the plant started to stretch its stem to get closer to Luigi's face, the man's eye twitching before he slammed the plant down into the hole and quickly scooped dirt around it.

The taller covered his face as he quietly laughed, shoulders heaving with every inhale and exhale, and his eyes squinching closed. The nearby piranhas saw and mimicked him, making their own giggling sounds and using their leaves as arms to cover their mouths.

The green clad male glared at them, "Hey, it's not that funny! I'm just being safe!"

"Oh, Luigi," Waluigi finished, still chuckling, "It was your face! 'Oh no, it's gonna kill me! Augh!'" He then bust out into laughter again, supporting himself with one arm as he reached and picked up another plant.

"I said I was being safe!" Luigi growled, crossing his arms and huffing, "I'm used to killing them, not planting them!"

All of the plants in the garden made sounds similar to that of a horrified gasp. Waluigi's smile faded as he mindlessly pulled dirt around the current plant, "Don't say that," He muttered, "You've scared them."

Luigi nervously glanced around at the small plants, shuffling closer to Waluigi as they all appeared to be staring him down.

"You fail to make good first impressions, even with plants." Waluigi plucked the final piranha from behind him, scratching its chin before gently setting it into the hole, "You may as well go ahead and get out of here so none of them start to bite at you."

"Ah-ah, o-okay!" Luigi quickly scrambled out of the garden, peeking back in from the fence gate to watch Waluigi.

Said other finished settling the plant in and stood up, looking around at his garden while sticking his chest out proudly, "Hmm. Wonderful."

"Um, so, you're done, right?"

"Yes, Luigi, I'm done."

Waluigi stepped over some plants and made his way out, shutting the gate behind him and leaning against it as he clapped his hands together, dirt falling onto the grass. "So, you've done enough work today. And you're done bugging me today. Go on home and clean up."

Luigi looked down at his dirt stained overalls and gloves, "Um…okay…" he then looked back up, "B-but Waluigi, I…"

Waluigi rolled his head back, "What, what do you want?!" he snapped, looking back at Luigi and leaning forward, his way of trying to intimidate the shorter character.

"W-well, I…" Luigi brought his hands to his face, nervously pinching at his bottom lip before closing his eyes and sighing, "…never mind. I'll…see you later…"

Waluigi just watched as the other male walked away, his head hung low and his steps slow.

He heard some of the piranha plants inside making sad "aww"ing sounds for him.

oOo

It had been almost a month since the small piranha plants were put into the ground.

Now they were almost adult sized, all of them excitedly squirming around and biting at each other, flapping their leaves, chirping and singing loudly, exhilarated as Waluigi opened the fence gate and made his way inside with the watering hose.

One of the plants leaned over, rubbing its head against his shoulder, to which the man chuckled and patted its head, "What's up with you guys today?"

"H-hey Waluigi!"

From behind a row of putrid piranhas, Luigi approached the taller man with a smile on his face. Dirt covered his gloves, overalls, his face, and his hair was dishelved.

Waluigi stumbled back in surprise, he felt his heart skip a few beats as well, "W-what're you doing here again!? Trespassing! Trespassing trespassing trespassing!"

"I was doing a little weeding for your garden!" Luigi sang, motioning to the bucket of weeds that the owner of the garden failed to notice, "I didn't think you were going to take care of it soon, so I—"

"Thanks, thanks, now explain why you're _really_ here." Waluigi crossed his arms, fingers tapping impatiently on the sprayer in his hands.

"Oh, well, I…" Luigi kicked at the dirt, fiddling with his hands and he looked to the side, "…I wanted to tell you, something…"

Waluigi hummed.

"…but you know what, it can wait." Luigi finished, nodding his head in satisfaction, "Yeah, I'll wait."

Waluigi blinked at him in confusion, but quickly shrugged it off, "Whatever. Thanks for weeding."

"B-but, Waluigi?"

"What?"

Luigi reached up and scratched a piranha plant's chin, said plant cooing and flapping its leaves with pleasure. The man took his hand back, and the plant immediately leaned over and wrapped its vine around him, resting its head atop his and purring happily.

"This was the one that kept biting at me a while back," Luigi wriggled in the plant's grasp, "I've been coming back here for the past few weeks and tending to it."

Waluigi just watched with widened eyes. Not even he got that kind of attention from the plants! He closed his eyes and his chest heaved as he took a deep breath, "So you've been trespassing for a while now, and this one likes you for it?"

"Um, yeah, he does." Luigi laughed nervously, "And the rest of them are used to me now…"

"So, what're you saying?"

A sudden blush came over Luigi's face, "W-would you mind helping me to start my own garden, sometime?"

oOo

"No, no, Luigi, don't do that."

"Why?"

"Piranha plants like to have space!"

"O-oh…"

"Here, do it like this."

Waluigi didn't realize what he had done until he had already reached around Luigi, grabbing his hand and helping him dig a hole for the small piranha plant he had acquired for the shorter. He swallowed nervously, yet focused on teaching Luigi how to dig _perfectly_.

"Like that. See? Plenty of space for the roots." He quickly let go, backing away to look at the small piranha plant as it purred and twirled around on the table.

"That makes sense now," Luigi set his spade on the ground, "So, with this it won't mind if it's being held in a garden box?"

"Unless it gets really big, in which case it might dig itself out and wriggle away." Waluigi ticked the plant on its stem, "But these guys don't get really big unless you add special kinds of fertilizer."

"I suppose you use such things?" The shorter man reached under Waluigi's arm, gently grabbing the plant by the small patch of dirt it sat on so he could carry it to its new home, "Because yours are really big."

"Yep!" Waluigi jumped, "L-Luigi, be careful, don't hold it like that! Fingers _around_ the dirt, not _on_ the ends of the roots!"

"Relax, Wally, I got it." Luigi rolled his eyes, shuffling over to the garden box and leaving Waluigi to stand there dumbfounded.

He called him Wally.

_He called him Wally._

The taller shook his head and tried to keep a blush from forming on his face, following Luigi over and watching closely as he lowered the plant into the hole.

Luigi chuckled, pushing dirt in to fill the empty space, "You gotta scrutinize every step, don't you Waluigi?"

"Well, it'd be kinda sad if my experience with growing these guys didn't help yours out."

He patted the dirt around the plant, which wriggled and chortled happily before looking around and admiring the view it had of Luigi's front yard.

"Thank you, Waluigi," Luigi stepped back, admiring the tiny piranha plant proudly, "for helping me. And giving me a couple of plants to start with."

"You're welcome." Waluigi turned around, "Here comes the feisty one."

Sure enough, the piranha plant that had taken a shine to Luigi came clopping through the back door towards the men, the plant using all of its energy to hop over, the pot used to hold it occasionally threatening to break apart with the sounds it made.

Luigi cocked his head, "Is it always going to hop around so much?"

"It should calm down around night time." Waluigi replied, "He's just getting used to your house."

The plant paused before the two men, shaking its leaves and head as it decided it needed to rest. It admired the sky, the pine trees that surrounded the house, and soon started to dance a tiny jig in satisfaction.

"It's kinda cute." Luigi squeaked, giggling.

"If you say it is," Waluigi sat down, propping himself up on the table top, "Anything else you need?"

"No, I think I'm all good, thanks…" Luigi seated himself in the chair next to the other, admiring the cheerful plants one more time, "…Waluigi?"

"Hmm?"

"I really, should, um, thank you…"

Waluigi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "You just did."

"N-no, I mean… uh…" Luigi's face turned dark red, he rubbed his nose and looked at the ground, obviously hesitant with something he wanted to do.

"C'mon, Eyeballs, out with it." Waluigi deadpanned, tapping his fingers on the table impatiently.

Blue eyes darted around for a moment before, finally, the Italian leaned over slowly. He paused a moment, balled his fist up, and then quickly leaned forward more and pressed his lips against Waluigi's cheek for a moment before returning to his sitting position immediately after pulling back.

Waluigi sat up and glared at Luigi in shock.

Luigi just kissed him.

_Luigi. Just. Kissed him._

"…a-ah, t-that was stupid of me I'm so sorry I didn't—" Luigi cut himself off, grabbing at his own hands and squirming in discomfort.

Waluigi continued to stare, slowly lifting a hand up and rubbing it where Luigi had pecked him.

"I-I understand if you-if you're…disgusted…i-it's just that I've liked you for a while now and I didn't really know what else to do, a-and the day you were starting on your garden I was gonna tell you and then I got the idea of helping you and seeing if I liked it so that way we could have something in common but—"

"Luigi."

"What?!"

"Calm down, you're talking really fast."

"S-sorry…"

The piranha plants purred and cocked their heads towards the characters, the one in the pot still slightly dancing from where it was happy about a new home.

"But…my point is that I like you…" Luigi continued to fidget with his hands, "…and…all…"

Waluigi rolled his eyes, "You've got a very funny way of admitting you've had a crush on someone."

"B-be quiet. T-that aside…" Luigi finally looked back at him, "…can we go out sometime?"

Waluigi leaned back smugly, "You're asking me out on a date."

Luigi's blush darkened.

"That's adorable."

"I'll take that as a 'no I hate you?'"

Waluigi merely leaned over, grabbing Luigi's chin and forcing him to look up. He leaned forward, and replied with a gentle kiss on the smaller man's lips.

The piranha plants then cooed in adoration.

* * *

><p><strong>**I wrote this as a story request for someone on DeviantArt.<br>**

**And then I uploaded it here. **

**Good day. ****


	39. All Will Be Fine

"I'm sick and done with this."

"It can't be that bad-"

"Oh, what do you know?"

Luigi slightly felt offended at that last remark, but opted to keep his mouth shut rather than press on. Giving Waluigi another look over, he noted the man's slouching position as he gripped a pillow to his chest for comfort, burying his face into the side. His entire body slightly quivered in anger, his grip on the pillow tightened more and more.

"I don't think its fair, firing a man because of his sexual preference. It's not like I'm gonna have sex with all the other men and give them diseases and shit!" Waluigi shouted into the pillow, curling his spine even more as he started to growl and hiss.

Luigi tapped the toes of his shoes together, squeezing the cushion he sat on as he tried to think of something helpful to say. "W-well you can always get a better…job, right?"

Waluigi lifted his head, flushed from where he had it in the pillow, "Why even bother? Everyone in this damn kingdom is a bloody homophobe."

The shorter make sighed in defeat, still watching Waluigi as his arm dropped onto the couch. His long, slender fingers pulled at the seam of the couch cushion, twitching every now and then from his overflow of frustration.

A few moments of silence gave Luigi the idea. He reached over, gently resting his smaller hand atop the other's-his fingers giving a comforting squeeze.

Waluigi's eyes widened, shooting a glare at his hand as he realized what was happening.

"I could help you, you know," Luigi began, "I know of some friends who really need to hire someone."

For a moment, Waluigi appeared as if he were about to cry, sitting up straight with his bottom lip trembling. Luigi noticed his facial expression and dared to try working his fingers in between Waluigi's.

Suddenly, the taller growled and turned away, digging his chin into the pillow, "Like they'll hire me."

"Uh…" Luigi bit his lip, sighing in anger before devising his next move.

He removed his hand, reaching closer to Waluigi, prepared to put up with a small struggle.

"H-hey, what're you doing?!"

"Relax."

"Heck no, I'm not relaxing!"

"Waluigi."

"Stop!"

"No."

"Ugh."

"See, this isn't so bad, is it?"

"…actually it is, kinda."

"Be quiet."

Luigi tightened his arm around Waluigi's shoulders, forcing him to keep his head against his own shoulder. The taller lamely tried twice to get away, but soon merely sat there and allowed Luigi to hold him.

"I'll help you." Luigi whispered, kissing the top of his head and stroking his arm.

Waluigi merely grunted, allowing himself to freely blush since there was no one else that could have seen it.

* * *

><p><strong>** Based on this little manga here: :  / www . pixiv member _ illust .php?mode=manga &illust_id= 32676126 (Remove spaces, the manga is in Japanese).  
><strong>

**I saw said manga and got inspired to write this little drabble.**

**So I did.**

**May not be the exact thing that was going on in the manga, but I just went by what I figured would make sense.**

**Good day. **

**(PS if you look at the manga, DON'T LOOK AT THE LAST PAGE. *nosebleed*****


	40. Satyriasis

****I was gonna write an indulging smutty fic, but then I was like...nope, too lazy. So I wrote a drabble instead. A not-so-happy drabble.********

* * *

><p>I tried my hardest to keep myself away.<p>

I did everything I could to save myself.

Yet, nothing worked.

I was addicted to Waluigi, as disgusting as that sounds. I couldn't go a day without wishing he was in my house, slamming my doors open, and throwing me about the bed.

I was too ashamed to go into counseling, the thought of having to speak of my problem made me want to vomit. I also had a problem with telling him to back away, just saying the word "no" was too hard for me.

What was I becoming? A man who was too weak to help himself or a slut that enjoyed the feeling of being used over and over again?

It was a hard question to answer. Every time I tried to sit down and think it out my blood would race south—making the addiction worse and worse.

I've tried to find someone else, someone other than Waluigi. Yet, with any other being I feel… unsatisfied.

But Waluigi makes me feel like I over indulged.

Such is the life of a man who dreams of being pounded into a squirming, screaming, and sticky mess. One who drools at the sight of hotdogs in the grocery store. One who can't stand being at the beach because of all the skin.

I enjoy the thrill too much to stop.

And Waluigi doesn't make it any better.

The way his eye squints as he sends me a devious smirk makes my skin feel cold. How he manages to make his French sound husky and dark makes my spine shiver. When he lays his hands on me, I can feel the sexual desire through his gloves; it makes me tense and excited.

He can work my clothes off with words. He can heat up the room with a growl. He doesn't even have to stand on my porch for five seconds before I'm on my knees and begging he penetrate me soon.

Waluigi takes the sick pleasure in that. I know that he enjoys having a bitch like me ready to bend over at any second.

Have I tried to stop it? Yes. It has never worked.

I'm just waiting for the day when my body decides it can only become aroused and not release anymore. Such a nightmare as it is, it could possibly be the only way to get Waluigi away—physically and mentally.

Until something changes, I'll just remain a man who flushes as he begs for a fuck. I'm probably the only one who is willing to put my lips around his addicting mass, and swallow the sugar that spews from it. There will be no other who would allow him to abuse their hide as much as I let him.

My body is his play toy.

And I shouldn't be happy about that.

* * *

><p><strong>**PS: satyriasis- excessive or abnormal sexual craving in the male (Merriam-Webster definition)**<strong>


	41. Worth the Scars

****Hooray for random drabbles that includes some derpy smut! Whoo! ****

* * *

><p>Handcuffs kept his hands restrained. He pulled against them, twisting and yanking as hard as he could. But to no avail.<p>

The thrusts that rocked the bed made him feel almost sick. His muscles tightened around the man invading him in hopes to ease the movement. However, he was rewarded with fingers digging into his hips harder, and a much harsher and shakier trust.

He relaxed, whining through the gag in his mouth in defeat. He clawed at the backs of his hands, kicking at the air with every well aimed strike to a damned bundle of nerves.

Suddenly, it all stopped. The rocking ceased, and the hardness slowly eased out of him. Was the other man done?

_No. _

Hands grabbed at his sides, easing him onto his stomach. With a pinch to his hip, he raised his buttocks to the air for the other man to reenter.

The full feeling came back, the rocking slowly resumed. He reached out in front of him, grabbing at the mattress and squeezing hard. A high pitched and shaky whine escaped him; there was the spot, being struck again.

The fingers that hand pinched him now grabbed his stiffened member. With skill, they stroked him in rhythm with the bed movement.

Things went crazy. His head flew back, crying around the gag, hands grabbing at the bed, muscles tightening. The euphoric sting of release radiated from his member, white spewing from the tip messily.

A groan answered him as the bed stopped moving again. The penetrating length was pressed as far in as it could go, held against the spot as it spat its own gift for him.

_"Mon Dieu..."_

He felt the other pull out, allowing his hips to fall onto the bed and into the sticky mess that collected in the sheets. One push of the muscles and he felt the other's sugar start to slide in between his thighs.

Sticky, front and back.

The other's chest pressed to his back as his hands were freed, the gag slowly pulled from his mouth right after. He smacked, thankful he could close his mouth and help his jaw pain.

"Such a beautiful sight. My love, blushing red and tired, letting our love stick to his skin..." Whispered words danced against his ear, followed by a kiss on his cheek, "...Luigi, you're a beautiful man."

Luigi hummed and squirmed, grimacing at the liquid against his skin, "A-ah..."

Even though the words flattered him, he felt a dire need to be cleaned.

* * *

><p>The steaming shower relieved him.<p>

Luigi stood in the water stream, mindlessly scrubbing around his inner and upper thighs and his crotch. He blushed as he recalled his climax, deviously smiling.

The curtain drew back as the other man stepped in with him. Luigi glanced at his bare chest before turning away, even more red-faced than he had been previously.

"Could I have some soap, Luigi?"

Luigi grabbed the body wash from the shelf and held it over his shoulder. The other man took it, muttering a "thank you" before the two silently focused on cleaning themselves.

Luigi sheepishly fiddled around with the body care items on the shelves, thinking about how the evening had progressed to this. Two men, showering, as if it were casual for them to bathe together.

He dared to look at the other man, taking note of his back—scarred from battles and abuse, his spine sticking out perfectly. Luigi quietly sighed before scooting closer, gently tracing one of the scars.

"That was from the Strikers match we had," The taller casually replied, "You were violent. Very violent."

"You remember that, Waluigi?" Blue eyes batted in surprise.

"Of course I do. I have to remember lots of major injuries. Helps me to stay away from similar mistakes." Waluigi replied, stretching his arms out to support himself against the wall.

Luigi nervously ran his hand up Waluigi's back to a painfully obvious scar on his shoulder blade.

"Merry Go Chomp." Waluigi growled.

Fingers shook as the other hand ran across scars that came before the slimmer's ass. Luigi cringed at these scars, as they appeared they were almost as deep as the one on his shoulder blade had been.

Waluigi shook his head and looked at the floor, "A friendship turned into an abusive rape."

Luigi gasped, stepping away and covering his mouth.

"It's fine, Luigi." Waluigi replied, "It's just why I was hesitant to fulfill your requests of a gag and handcuffs."

"W-Waluigi..."

"Don't pity me," he snapped, "I don't want your pity. You don't need to do that."

Luigi bit his lip, eyeing the other marks on the elder's back, hesitant to ask about them.

"Those party games, those sports, those fights, that cruel friendship...seems my back records it all." Waluigi chuckled, "Makes it ugly."

"No, it doesn't..." Luigi meekly spoke, "...it shows how strong you are."

Waluigi finally turned around and faced the other, shoulders slumping as he sighed, "If I'm considered strong, then Peach is Super Woman."

"Not physically, figuratively." Luigi slowly stepped towards him, gently wrapping his arms around him, "It shows that you've been through a lot, and you haven't given up..."

"Mm, moving speech here, Eyeballs." Waluigi snorted, returning the hug, "But...it's hideous. Disgusting. Revolting."

"It's beautiful, I think," Luigi whispered, "Proof that you're tougher than everyone thinks you are."

Waluigi snorted again, "You're the only one."

"I'm the only one that has seen your back, right?" Luigi smirked as the subject suddenly changed, "And naked. You look nice naked."

"Because I'm sexy." Waluigi boasted.

* * *

><p>Moonlight poured in from the window, illuminating the bed and the man curled up on it. Exhausted, he didn't even bother to dress, instead, he fell asleep in his bathrobe.<p>

Waluigi cut off the bathroom light and stared at him; his breath quickened, his heart raced, and he immediately felt his head spin.

Brunette locks were shaggy and damp, most of the front dipping into Luigi's eyes. Underneath his full mustache, his smoothed, rosy lips were curled into a small smile.

His robe was opened, revealing his still nude body to the dim light. Slowly, his chest rose and lowered as he breathed, his stomach copying slightly. There and around his thighs collected much of his fat, which gave the shorter a very slightly feminine body shape. Said legs appeared shiny; Waluigi chuckled and shook his head at the previous morning's scene of the Italian waxing his legs and fussing about how nasty he felt being hairy. The elder man's eyes also kept drifting to the younger's manhood—almost laughable, in his mind, but too cute to make fun of, be it whether he was frisky or not.

It was like falling in love again. Almost. Waluigi knew a body wasn't the only thing he could adore. As he approached the bed, still admiring Luigi's body, he thought about all the other reasons he fell for him.

A kind man. A sweet man. A man that could be stupid and smart at the same time. Considerate. Open minded. Understanding.

What was it exactly?

Waluigi didn't know.

All he knew was that Luigi was beautiful—and everything he wanted.

Someone worth all the scars on his back.


	42. French Perfume

"You seem upset with yourself."

"I'm not upset. I-I'm tired."

A smile formed around the cigar held in his teeth, long and slender fingers tracing around the bumps of a bare spine, "Well, you're welcome to sleep in my bed, sweetheart. After all, you're in it so much every week."

"I try not to do it so much..."

"It's fine," the cigar was balanced between two fingers, smoke flowing from behind chapped lips as they moved, "I quite enjoy your company."

"No you don't." A fist formed against the bare chest it rested on.

"Luigi, Luigi, when it comes to this kind of thing, I would never lie." The cigar was tapped against the side of an ash tray, "Should I say why?"

"No, no, you've told me time and time again," Luigi's voice quieted at the end of his sentence, blue irises darting around at the purple decor.

"Then stop thinking that I'm lying."

Luigi sighed, slowly sitting up and turning away. He crossed his arms over his own bare chest, shivering at the cold air that struck his skin. "I think I'll go home, Waluigi."

Waluigi laughed, "But your house is such a far drive! Stay a while, save yourself some energy."

"No," the brunette spat, "I-I really should get home. I'm not even supposed to be here."

"Yet here you are, nude in my bed." Waluigi rested his cigar in the ash tray, "Tell me, baby, if you despise me so much, why do you keep on wandering this way?"

"B-because..." Luigi's shoulders slumped, "...because..."

The taller rolled his eyes, "Just say it. You're anything but pleased when it comes to your brother."

"No, that's not it..."

"Of course it is," Waluigi sat up straight, reaching for Luigi's shoulder, "I know you're estranged with him. An incestuous relationship can only do so much for you."

His hand was slapped away by the shorter, "Be quiet."

Waluigi shook his hand, snarling at the pain, "Baby, darling, admit it. You don't like your brother anymore and you want something new."

"I still love my brother. I swear I do!"

"If you still love him, then why did I just please you not five minutes ago?"

Luigi covered his hands with his face, "I-I..."

The other crawled closer, snaking his arms around Luigi's torso, "I'd be a much better man, sweetie. I have more money, you seem to like the sex, and I can tell you right now we'd spend much more time together than you and your brother do. Plus," Waluigi brought his lips closer to his neck, "I want you to be happy, with me."

Luigi shuddered as a chill shot down his spine, "H-how can you guarantee that?"

"I was in your place, once," Waluigi began, "I chased the tailcoats of a man just because I was not happy with my own. Granted, they both found out of one another and got into a squabble that resulted in both being sent to prison for violence and...other things we shall not state. But, I learned from my little play dates and I'm willing to apply those lessons to make our relationship better."

Luigi rolled his eyes, "At least your story was condensed this time."

"Yes, yes, but Luigi, humor me," Waluigi began pulling the other back into the bed, "I say break up with your current man and stay with me. You'll have everything you want, as long as the only name you moan is mine."

The Italian allowed himself to be dragged back into the center of the bed, the silk sheet wrapped around his leg only made the feeling of imprisonment stronger. Goosebumps rose on his skin as Waluigi's arm continued to wrap around him tighter and tighter, the only way he expressed his fear was through a soft whimper.

"Besides," Waluigi's other hand traced his cheek, "I have this sense of emotional attachment to you. I need you here, Luigi."

"W-Waluigi..."

"Shhh." The elder pressed a finger against his lips, kissing his temple before both relaxed against the pillows below them.

Luigi once against rested his head on Waluigi's chest, heart beating fast out of excitement and fright.

He would have argued back, saying he was better off just leaving and going back to Mario, but what would that have done except send them in another circle? Besides, it was clear he was not happy with the man.

Also, the other man he just wanted to have some fun with had now fallen in love with him (either that, or it was lust being confused for love).

Maybe it was best to do as Waluigi said.

That was the only thing he could do-agree to the idea.

The thought of actually being courted by Waluigi, however, was still unappealing to him.

_'Whatever. It's too late now. I'm too far gone.'_

"I'll...I'll end my relationship with him tomorrow..." Luigi whispered, glancing up to watch his partner enjoy another puff of his cigar.

Waluigi's smug grin came across his face, "Wonderful, sweetie. I'm glad I could talk you into this," he lowered his cigar to allow his head to roll upwards to the ceiling, "I promise, you won't regret it."

The Italian still doubted his decision as his nose curled from the smoke, said scent overpowering the aroma of that arousing French perfume.


	43. Antics

****I have a challenge fic I should have written instead of this. Inspired by a little derp I had from a chat with bluebruise. Includes bunch of fail innuendo. ****

* * *

><p>Breaking the peaceful silence of the bedroom, a green-cased cellphone buzzed loudly against the dark brown wood of a night stand. The screen's light chased away the quaint darkness that helped bring slumber to the Italian snuggled in emerald bed sheets, effectively bringing said man from his dream world. He kept his eyes closed, hoping that the light would shut off and let the darkness cover his face again.<p>

Sure enough, it did. A notification for a text message, that was all. The man figured it was his brother, sending him a late night reminder about who-knows-what. Nothing important.

A moment later, the buzzing returned and the phone once again lit the room, effectively bringing the man into light drowsiness. He again opted to let the screen shut off, though he was slightly curious as to what the messages were.

Silence, blissful darkness, the man was almost asleep again, close to returning to the ship of dreams.

**_-VRRT! VRRT!-_**

The ship had sailed away. The man sat up and snatched his phone, flipping on the screen to look at the notifications.

Three messages from a number he'd normally be happy to hear from.

With a huff, he unlocked the phone and scrolled through to the messages tab. His eyes narrowed as he read the first of the three messages sent to him.

_"Hey, Luigi."_

His fingers shook as he scrolled through the last two

_"Luigi! Wake up!"_

_"Luuuiiiiiiigiiiiiiii."_

Curling his lip, Luigi irritably tapped at the screen: _"Buzz off, I'm trying to sleep."_

He locked the phone, flopping over on his side and letting the phone drop onto the mattress beside him.

**_-Vmm Vmm!-_**

Instinct made him pick up and look at the response.

_"Nooo c'mon who needs sleep?"_

To which Luigi responded, _"I do. Quit texting me."_

The phone was locked and dropped again. Luigi readjusted his pillow before sliding his hand underneath it, closing his eyes yet again.

It was a while before the vibrations of another message woke him once more.

_"Call me."_

Sighing, Luigi decided the best thing to do was to call and scold the other person before shutting down the phone. He tapped the screen, sending out the connection for said phone call.

He listened to the droning sounds. _-Brrrrrnn. Brrrrrrrn. Brrrrrrn.-_

Then, the sound of cocky chuckling came through, _"I knew you couldn't resist, Eyeballs."_

"I'm calling to tell you something. It's half past midnight. Why the fuck are you bugging me, Waluigi?"

The other responded with a sigh, _"Oh, you know, it's late and I'm not tired..."_

"Well I am." Luigi snapped.

_"...okay."_ Waluigi could be heard moving, _"And I'm hard as a thwomp."_

The green-clad's eyes widened as his face turned red, "Waluigi! The nerve!"

More cocky laughter, _"Uh huh. I know."_

"That's not something you call someone about!"

_"Pssh. I do what I want. You included."_

"No." Luigi grabbed his face, "You're shameless..."

_"C'mon!"_ Waluigi responded, _"I just wanna one-up you."_

"You're one-upping nobody."

_"You don't want to see power stars?"_

"I want to see sleepy sheep."

_"Plumber doesn't need his pipes fixed?"_

"I can fix my own, thanks." Luigi instantly wished to kick himself as soon as he finished speaking.

_"Oh ho ho, putting Waluigi second to a molded-"_

"No I'm not!" The Italian screeched, "_Cazzo_, you're a headache."

_"I can be a pleasant pain in the ass too, y'know." _The taller could be heard snickering.

Luigi balled up a fist, "Stop it."

_"You don't wanna experience my ultra shroom?"_

"No."

_"It'd be invigorating for your warp pipe."_

"I said no."

_"You'll be flailing like a piranha plant."_

"Waluigi."

_"Purring like a cat, and howling like a chain chomp."_

"I'll be snoring like I'm asleep."

_"After I rock you like an earthquake."_

Luigi quietly rolled onto his back, "Waluigi, seriously, I'm gonna hang up..."

_"Uh huh, and I'm gonna be on my way to give you some fire flower."_

The Italian ended the call in the middle of Waluigi's laughter, groaning angrily. "That's the _third time_ this month." He muttered, rolling over to face the wall.

His blush was still on his face, recalling the conversation he had with the other male sent small tingles down his spine.

That cocky voice, the image of that confident simper, that overall aura he sent through the speaker...

**_Ooh, damn it, why was he able to flip the switch with an annoying attitude and cheesy one liners? _**

Hesitantly, Luigi grabbed his phone and turned it on once more. He tapped through the menus, finger hovering over one last button before he forced himself to press it.

**_-Brrrrrnn. Brrrrrrrn. Brrrrrrn.-_**

A moment of silence before the nasally voice answered, _"Yes~?"_

Luigi fidgeted with his pillowcase as he mumbled, "Are you here yet?"

_"Hmmm...I won't say,"_ Waluigi's grin could be heard through the phone, _"unless you tell me something."_

"Ugh. What?"

_"You wanna be one-upped?"_

The brunet remained silent.

_"Huh? Do you?"_

He took a deep breath, speaking through his teeth, "I want a one-up."

_"From who~?"_

"You."

_"Say it again, Luigi."_

"...I want a one-up."

_"Again."_

"Waluigi, one-up me."

_"Hmmm, one more time."_

Luigi took a deep breath, speaking again with an airy voice, "Hng, Wally, **_one-up me_**..."

_"Ooooh hoo hoo," Waluigi chuckled again, "I like how that sounded. I'm on your porch, Eyeballs. Where's the_ _key?"_

"Under the flower pot..." Luigi's hands shook, "...h-hurry..."

The phone beeped as Waluigi ended the call, leaving the shorter to set the device on his nightstand.

Silence. _Just like the silence that he preferred for sleeping_.

Yet, it was interrupted as the lanky character opened the door and strutted inside, grinning as he did, "So. Ready to get bashed like a coin block?"

Luigi sat up, shaking his head at the other with a small smile, "Only because your antics are unique, Wally."

"Yeah," the elder replied as he crawled on top of the younger, "I'd say they are."


	44. A Drabble With No Title

****I've had this drabble done since forever and I just now remembered to upload it and I feel bad for not uploading things as often as I want to and it makes me sad. ****

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><p>His head rested comfortably in his boyfriend's lap, his long legs stretched across the warm grass, relaxing in a makeshift bed of intimacy.<p>

He dared to roll his head over, just to press his cheekbone into the tightened muscle of the other's thigh, receiving barely a jump in response. A smile crossed his face as a gloved had delicately stroked muddy strands from his face.

The feeling of joy made him feel lightheaded. He wanted to float away, almost, with how his chest went fuzzy and his head felt weightless.

"Waluigi? Can we eat out tonight? I don't feel like cooking."

"Whatever you desire, Luigi."

Having heard his own name made his ears burn. Luigi spoke with such a sweet tone, almost enough to give him a sugar rush. He'd always treasured it, really, but he never got to enjoy it like he did at the moment.

Then again, saying Luigi's name was an event in itself. Sure, it was just three syllables, but they were three syllables that made his tongue tingle. It was a nasty taste whenever he used to spit his name in disgust, but it came to be a much better flavor once he began merely saying it.

"What's that grin for? Are you planning something?"

The playful question made Waluigi chuckle as he sat up, "No, not planning anything at all."

"Yes you are."

"Nuh uh."

The lanky male turned himself around, crawling closer to the shorter with a smirk.

"Are too, you have that face."

"Of course I have that face. I kinda need one to be a human."

Luigi scoffed, "You know what I meant."

"Yes, I did." Waluigi pulled him closer, long fingers gently wrapping around the delicate fat on Luigi's upper arms.

Blue irises looked downward, light olive cheeks gained a dusting of rose. A normal reaction of Luigi's whenever he was brought close. It made Waluigi's arms almost numb.

Hence why, when Luigi was as close as could be, he pushed his head up with his finger, getting antsy as he saw the sunlight hit his face, highlighting his attractive features.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Waluigi leaned forward, for a kiss that would never fully express how much he loved the Italian that sat with him.


	45. I Was A Good Boy Today

****Hello yes I am alive.**** Have a thing that was half-assedly written at 11:40 at night. ****

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><p>"I was a good boy today."<p>

"Like a lick of difference that'd make."

"It'll be a lick of difference from your mouth."

"I'd bite instead."

"Mm, a biter. I'm always willing to try new things."

"Like leaving?"

A flower pot was elbowed out of the way, rocking back and forth as it threatened to fall over the edge. In its place, Waluigi's elbows landed. He rested his chin in his hands, pursing his lips as he stared at the man before him.

"What's the matter, baby? Someone piss in your cereal? Mm, poor Weegee." He tilted his head to the side, batting his eyes as he did.

"Don't call me that." Luigi held up a spade, pointing it at the other.

He merely smirked, "Don't call you baby, or Weegee?"

"Either," the spade hit the table beside Waluigi's jointly elbow, "I also want you to leave."

"But I don't want to leave. I wanna enjoy some time with you," the lanky man dared to reach a hand towards Luigi's face, fingertips grazing the olive-tone cheek before said man flinched away, "I have nowhere else to go. I have nothing else to do."

The spade was whacked against Waluigi's hand, metal ringing from the impact of thin glove, skin, and bone. Tired eyes narrowed in response, lip curling at the pain.

"I do not appreciate these unwanted advances," Luigi tightened his grip on the spade handle, "I want you to back off."

Waluigi's frown turned into a devilish smile, the slight shrugging of his shoulders accompanied by a throaty chuckle, "I don't back off easily, baby."

"I said to _stop calling me that_." Luigi growled through his teeth, his body starting to jitter.

The elder scoffed, "Is it really that upsetting to have this much attention?"

"Upsetting? _Upsetting?!_ Waluigi, all of this is unwanted, _inappropriate!"_ The Italian stabbed his spade into the wooden planks of the table, pointing a finger at the man on the other side, "I do not approve of your brash comments, your sickening one-liners, your stupid innuendoes, I could care less about how well you can take something innocent and make it juvenile! And I _loathe_ how you think I'll merely sleep with you! You think sending me pictures of yourself exposed will make me want you?! No!"

"You don't like how big I am?"

"I could care less about how 'big' you are, you miniature horse! I don't drool at the sight of an exposed member, unlike what your adult websites lead you to believe!"

Waluigi rolled his eyes, "Sure you don't."

"There you go, trying to convince yourself you're so good that practically _anything_ you do will land you a one night stand! Go ahead! Keep saying that!"

The other male stood tall, looking down on his prey with the glare of an eagle.

"These past months have been _hell!_ I have enough dealing with social pressures from my brother and my friends; I don't need anything else from you! Keep your erections and dirty thoughts to yourself. Keep your hands off me. Stay off my property. Don't. Do. This. _Anymore_." Luigi's torso rattled with rage, he inwardly kicked himself as the rest of his well thought and intelligent speech blew away in the storm inside his head.

Waluigi crossed his arms, tapping his fingers as he continued to glare, "And if I _don't_ stop?"

The younger could feel the sting of rage bubbling through his chest, "My speech was _nothing_ to you."

"No, it wasn't," Waluigi spat, "because words do absolutely _nothing_."

A slow, long inhale of oxygen was enough to help ease the red clouding Luigi's vision, stepping away as he exhaled just as slowly. He slowly turned and began walking away, "I'm not going to stoop as low as to physically hit you."

"Ah, you already did, with this spade." Waluigi reminded, pulling said object from the table and holding it up.

Luigi merely resumed his stroll to the door, "Well, then," he said as he turned the handle, "you can take that spade," he turned around as he backed into his house, "and shove it up your bony ass." He slammed the door with as much force as possible, making sure to set all the locks on the door before storming away into his living room.


	46. Envelop

****Pukes drabble****

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><p>Wiping tears from reddened cheeks, fingers shaking from a recent burst of excitement, whispers of comfort – a scene that would fit well in a dramatic painting.<p>

Covering bare skin with a light blanket, a belt tossed aside, the scent of guilt almost overpowers the sweat.

The look on his face tells all - he needs to recover. Bounce back from what happened.

Waluigi wasn't always the best at helping people bounce back, but he swore he'd kick himself if he didn't try this time.

"Shh, shhh, mon cher, shh..."

_"I went too far. Blame me. Blame me."_

"Shh, calm down, I'm here..."

_"I got carried away. I'm sorry."_

He flinches from Waluigi's touch, still rubbing at the markings on his wrists. Though it hurt him just as much to see him in pain, he kept on trying to envelop him in a hug.

"Luigi, Luigi, it's over, relax."

_"We should never do this again."_

"Baby, stop shaking, please, I love you. I'm here. Shhh."

_"I regret this."_

Luigi's whimpers became quieter. His body relaxed as he got used to Waluigi's hold, closing his eyes - trusting him while he drifted to sleep.

"We won't do it again, Luigi." Waluigi muttered, even though, deep down, he desired it again.

_The helplessness. The squirming. The dirty talking, venomous pet names. Keeping his arms bound above his head while he teased at his member. Hearing his shouts as the bed almost sounded like it would fall apart any moment. Letting him get close, then stopping and laughing at his needy and pitiful whine..."_

No.

No more of that.

At least not with him enveloped in his arms, sleeping peacefully.

Calmly.

Happily.


	47. Untitled 2

"Hat."

"No."

"Hat."

"Non."

"Waluigi."

"Nuh uh."

"Give."

"No."

Luigi grabbed at his precious accessory being held captive in the purple-clad's hands, whining when no progress to getting it back was made.

"Please, Wally?"

Waluigi smirked, slowly extending his legs, "Mm, no."

The brunet winced as Waluigi's heels pressed into his chest, pushing him farther away from his trademark hat. He grabbed his thin ankle in an attempt to push his foot down, growling when the other merely pushed against him.

"Stop."

"No."

"Waluigi."

The lanky male's pointy mustache waved as he chuckled, "If you really want your hat back you need to come get it."

"I would if you'd get your feet off my chest."

"Maybe. But it's a nice workout, pushing you back."

Luigi rolled his eyes as his hand started sliding up Waluigi's leg, "You don't need to work your legs."

The response was a shudder, legs letting off slightly, "Why? I need to keep them strong somehow."

"Tennis isn't enough?"

"Tennis gives me charley horses."

Luigi pursed his lips, "Poor baby, getting leg cramps."

"It's not my fault I'm mostly leg."

Luigi leaned back, allowing Waluigi's feet to slide down his torso onto the couch, "You get it from your mother," he mocked, starting to climb over his legs.

"I do," Waluigi muttered, "I have the same limbs as my mother."

"Genetics, a lovely excuse. But," Luigi hovered above the taller, pausing to snatch his hat and place it on his head, "I think your legs make you beautiful in your own way."

"That was mine." Waluigi lamely reached up to take the hat again, snorting when his arm was slapped away.

"I'm trying to complement you." The Italian huffed, nearing his face to rub his nose with Waluigi's.

"Mm, thanks," Waluigi raised a leg and bumped the side of Luigi's buttock with his knee, "I feel much better knowing someone appreciates these wonderful legs."

Luigi raised his eyebrows as his hand slowly slid down the other's chest, "Maybe you'll feel even better when I show more appreciation..."

"Ooh," Waluigi purred, "I like the way you think, Eyeballs."

"Good." The green-glad then dropped his head to Waluigi's chest, wrapping his arms around his torso while snuggling into the purple cotton of his shirt, "I always like it when my bed is happy for me."

Jointly hand swatted the green hat aside so long fingers could run through a mess of chocolate strands.

"You're welcome." Waluigi snarled.


	48. Security Blanket

He caught a glimpse of light when he opened his eyes, jumping only a second later when a loud sound rumbled the entire house.

Raindrops splattered against the ground, sometimes hitting the window next to the bed. Though it was open, the gap was just small enough to keep water from entering the room.

A tired glance at the clock informed him that it was now turning four in the morning. Grumbling, he rolled onto his side to go back to sleep.

Yet the storm flashed its light and cracked its whip loud. He jerked from grogginess to fright, shaking from the fear he suddenly felt.

A softer light, followed a few seconds later by a softer grumble, made him wince and cover his face. The house shook once again, momentarily scaring him into thinking it was going to collapse. That was it, he needed his security blanket.

He rose from his bed and scampered into the next bedroom, peeping inside to see if the other was there.

He wasn't.

With a frown, he scurried down the stairs, jumping and yelping when the thunder announced its return loudly and clearly. Surely, he must've been heard...he waited at the bottom of the steps for a response.

Nothing.

He grabbed at his own hands, knees knocking as he immediately felt alone. He wanted to fall to the floor, curl around himself, cry...

But something was off in the room. It seemed brighter than it should have been for this early in the morning. Through his racing fear and violent shaking, he hadn't noticed the front door was wide open. Funny, he though, he could've sworn it was locked.

He dared to shuffle closer and peek outside, preparing to close the door when he noticed an ever familiar figure standing off to the side of the porch. Oh, star haven, he felt safe again!

The return of the bright flash and loud crack caused him to jerk and run outside, slamming the screen door into the wall on his way. His arms wrapped around that figure, clinging to him for dear life.

The other character jumped, but otherwise didn't budge a bit. His jointly hand lifted to rest on the other's, not the best thing to do, but better than pretending he didn't acknowledge his company.

"Luigi, babe," words broke the sound of raindrops, "You'll be fine."

Luigi shook his head, jerking when light flashed again. This time the rumble was soft, far away.

His partner wriggled so that he could turn around and face him, running his fingers through his mussed hair; "Come on."

Releasing the other, Luigi opted to hug himself as he was guided back into the house. The front door was closed and locked; the two slowly worked their way up the steps, quietly stumbling into his bedroom where they both stretched onto the bed.

Once settled, Luigi clung to his bedmate as thunder cracked again. Face in his chest, he bit his lip as he tried to remain calm, especially now that he had his security blanket.

Bony arms returned his embrace, a loving kiss to the top of his head, long leg wrapping around his shorter one...

Luigi opened his mouth, speaking in a barely audible whisper, "Waluigi...thank you..."

"Welcome. Sleep, Eyeballs."

Though the response was gruff, Luigi smiled and closed his eyes. As he slowly drifted back to sleep, he was occasionally stirred by the flashes and the rumbles from outside. Each time, Waluigi would pat his back, whisper something, anything to acknowledge his fear and let him know he was safe.

If that wasn't the purpose of a security blanket, then Luigi needed to find a new term for his.


	49. My Pretty, My Beautiful

****You wanted fluff? To bad, psycho Waluigi time.****

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><p>"<em>My pretty, my beautiful..."<em>

His voice echoed off of the walls, the effect making the room feel colder than it actually was. Dirty gloved fingers shook as they hovered over a smoothed picture, hitting against the surface before sliding down to the bottom. The action repeated, again, again, again.

"_Why, why won't you love me back?"_

The smiling man in the picture gave no answer. Nor did the same man in the pictures around him.

The one petting said photo did not allow their smile to falter; it only grew with the return of silence. Hungry eyes darted around to the various angles of the one he admired, taking in every curve of his body, every seam of his clothes, every strand of his mustache, every _little_ bit of him.

"_I've been to hell and back for you. Love me. Love me back..."_

He stretched out his leg, kicking an empty bottle into the floor. Clanging against the wood, it slowly rolled over to join the small pile of similar bottles at the end of the bed, hitting against another one with a small clink.

The man pulled his hand from the picture he had been petting, using it to prop up his head. He batted his eyes, giggling while he squirmed, "I can't wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is a very, very special day for us."

He rolled onto his back, the volume of his titters increasing, "You're gonna love me. Whether you want to or not."

oOo

_This chair is uncomfortable..._

He pulled against the ropes that securely held him to said piece of wooden furniture. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes, daring to pull with all his might in hopes of snapping his binding in half.

The result was more pain and possibly new bruises on his arms. He let out an exasperated sigh, pressing his feet together as he whined.

_I want to go home!_

The moment the first sob escaped him, he quickly became a bawling mess. Tears blurred the walls he had been gawking at for the past star-haven-knows-how-many hours, carrying all the exhaustion and frustration he felt down his cheeks. Home, home, he wanted to be _home!_

His gasps, sobs, sniffles, and moans echoed around the dank room. The only light provided came by the rays of the morning sun peeking in from the window, illuminating the peeling lavender wallpaper and the stained plum carpet.

As he took note of these colors, the man's crying stopped as his mind began to race.

_T-the colors...i-if I'm still in the Mushroom Kingdom, then they should help me figure out where I am!_ He bit his lip, squinching his eyes at the feeling of tears drying on his cheeks. _I-I wouldn't dare to think this is Waluigi's house...but there's no one else who likes...gaudy purple décor. _

A shiver ran down his spine, _if this is Waluigi's house, then...what am I doing here?_

The door to his left slowly opened with an ominous creak, an ever familiar tattered glove clutching to the door handle. The hinges squeaked as the newcomer resumed to push the door back, slowly revealing his wide eyes and his terrifyingly large smile from the doorframe.

The man's heart stopped. "W-Waluigi...?"

The taller stepped in, cocking his head and bringing his hands together at his chest, "My pretty, my beautiful..." he whispered.

"E-excuse me?" He began to push himself backwards with his feet, "W-Waluigi, what are you-?"

Waluigi took a sudden, large step forward, "Why, _why won't you love me?"_

"I-I-I-"

"I've been through hell and _back for you_."

"W-Waluigi! What's wrong with-!"

Waluigi grabbed him by the shoulders, nearing his face and growling through his teeth, "Love me back, Luigi."

Luigi's jaw shook as he tried to piece his next words together. His stutter alone was almost enough to make him faint from the fear he was currently experiencing.

"W-W-W-W-W-Wal-W-W-W-Walu-Walu-Wal-Walu-!"

Slender fingers tightened their grip on his shoulders, Waluigi's breathing became heavier as he got even closer to Luigi's face.

He hoarsely whispered, "You're gonna love me. _Whether you want to or not."_

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><p><strong>**That was actually very short I'm sorry I've lost my muse lately.**<strong>


	50. Drabble 50

****If anyone wants to correct the Italian featured in this drabble, please do. Anyway. This was written with half of my mind operating because I've recently gotten into Hardenshipping and I really want to write for that. Doesn't mean I'm abandoning my OTP permanently. I'll come back to it soon. **

**To make up for this shitty chapter, Collection will get a fifty-first chapter, and that will be the last one. 'Til then. ****

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><p>Coming home to a quiet house was a terribly awkward way to end such a crazy day.<p>

As he pushed the front door closed behind him, Waluigi leaned back against the chipping, purple wood and took in the tranquil atmosphere of the dark home. A small ring sounded in his ears, a chill ran down his spine, and he found it hard to take step forward less he disturb the shadows crawling around. He still felt the need to dart his eyes left and right, his fingers flexing as he wished he had an item to hold onto.

He also felt like he _had_ to be moving. Flying down a road, with the wind blowing against his face and the taste of victory on his tongue. His lips twitched in a desire to snarl, his breathing becoming erratic from excitement.

Damn, if race day didn't ruin his senses.

Waluigi closed his eyes and slouched his shoulders, muttering the truth to himself; race day is over, it's time to relax. He was finally able to push himself away from the door, dirtied shoes shuffling along the floor past a small table with brochures and small papers littered with information about the same subject: _race day_.

Glancing at such things sent Waluigi's mind through a small flashback.

"_Two racers per car? That won't work at all!"_

"_Because the cars need to be built to hold two people. The challenge this year is to develop teamwork so you can win."_

Teamwork. The word made Waluigi want to gag.

Nonetheless, he had developed his own two-person car (which, he lovingly dubbed the _Waluigi Racer_), and opted into the race just for the sake of victory. He didn't care _who_ he had to work with, he just wanted to hold a golden trophy (that wasn't from a tennis match, at least).

The past few weeks, he had been racing with Wario. The lanky male figured working with someone he knew would benefit him in the long run.

Wrong. So, so wrong.

The two, sadly, were not able to cooperate very well, the highest they had placed together was sixth (and that was only through some cunning on Waluigi's part and sheer dumb luck). He was sick of it; the bulky car that had _pitiful_ acceleration and handling, a partner bossy, idiotic, and whiny, not to mention the feeling of _losing_.

The previous days, he had come home slamming objects and cursing his luck under his breath, flopping onto the couch and screaming into the cushions. Today would have been another one of those days, most likely. Alas, he didn't feel like he had the energy to even mumble to himself. Settling onto his couch, Waluigi let his head loll back so he could look at the ceiling.

Next week. Next week he could try again. Next week, he would _win_.

oOo

"We've switched up the teams for this week's race!" A toad announced to the group before him as he motioned to a bulletin board beside him, "Please come read the team roster! You have an hour to become buddies and discuss your racing strategies!"

Waluigi was the only one who didn't rise from his seat, instead slouching down and glaring at the others as they shuffled over to see who they would be racing with. He figured that if he was going to be assigned a partner, then that individual would have to approach him themselves.

The mumble of the racers was interrupted by an ear-piercing squeal, the hands of Princess Daisy rising to the air above the heads of the others.

The purple clad male paled, _Please don't let it be me. The last thing I need is to be racing with her. _

The yellow-gowned princess pushed her way through the small crowd, her arm behind her as she dragged her new teammate along. "C'mon, Birdo! We'll make the greatest team!" Daisy loudly announced, said dinosaur stumbling along behind her with mix of confusion and worry on her face.

All was quieter after that, as the rest of the group read the roster and then split up into their assigned pairs; some almost as excited as Daisy, some glaring at each other before sulking away, some merely shrugging their shoulders and holding their hands out to their new partner.

As the crowd cleared, one person remained at the board. His hands fidgeting against his chest, the toe of his shoe being dug into the ground as a nervous tick, blue irises darting over the names in worry before he slowly turned around and glanced in the direction of the lone male still sitting on a table.

Waluigi cocked his head in question, his eyes widening as he quickly realized what that nervous glance meant. _Oh no. Oh, star haven, no no no...I changed my mind, I-I'd rather have Daisy..._

Quietly, his green clad rival approached like he would a vicious piranha plant. The brunet pulled against the collar of his shirt, putting a (what Waluigi assumed to be) fake smile on his face when he was close enough to speak quietly.

"I-I guess we're racing together..." his meek voice sounded, followed by a nervous laugh.

Something began to pull in Waluigi's chest, and the taller found himself mentally swimming through a pool of emotions and thoughts. _I don't want to race with you. Star haven you're kinda cute. No, go away, I hate you. I admire your racing skill, maybe we can win together. No, I don't need your help! You're hideous! Nerd! Can I at least hold your hand sometime!?_

It all built up to the doppelganger coughing before spitting his reply, "You better not be the reason I lose this round of races, Luigi."

The Italian shrunk back, "I-I'll try not to, Waluigi. I think we could win, actually, if we just...get along."

He threw up his hand, "Oh, we'll get along, alright. But consider this the _only_ time I'm not roughing you up, Eyeballs." He crossed his arms and looked away as he added under his breath, "I just wanna win for once, fair and square. It feels a hell of a lot more rewarding..."

Luigi nervously chuckled, "We can win, I know we can! Wh-which car are we using? Mine's – "

"We are using mine!" Waluigi snapped, leaping from his seat and rushing outside where his kart had been parked for the past month, "It's got better acceleration than your ugly green thing!"

oOo

In the end, Waluigi found himself wishing he could hunt down the person who decided to switch up the teams.

To thank them.

To thank them for the opportunity to win _first place_, to hold a well earned trophy above his head in front of everyone else, and to witness a side of Luigi he would have never thought existed.

He could still remember the surprise he felt when he first heard Luigi utter a profanity under his breath, pressing his brown shoe as hard as he could against the purple gas pedal to catch up to the team that passed them. His veins burned once again with the familiar terror he felt the first time the two spun out, Luigi shrieking and cursing the one responsible. His spine quivered the same way it did when Luigi scolded him for hitting an item instead of an item box.

All the words he said today...

"_You fucking bastard! Get your ass back here!"_

"_Waluigi, you airhead! You're supposed to go around that!"_

"_Cazzo! Che puttana!"_

"_Damn it, Yoshi! Scopa tua mamma!"_

"_Let me drive, che cazzo!"_

"_Cazzo vai via strongzo!" _

Ooh, the memory of the profanities sent his heart to drumming. Lost in his recollections of the day, the tall man didn't even notice he was still standing on his front porch until he heard a bird squawking nearby. He flinched at the disruption, glaring in the direction of the sound before balancing his long-desired trophy under his arm. Pulling his keys out of his pocket, he carefully fiddled with the small collection before he found the right one.

Inside, there was no hesitation at the door like there had been the previous few nights. Waluigi marched straight to his living room, slamming the trophy in an empty spot on his décor-shelf before stepping back. His chest stuck out proudly, his smile almost blinding.

Finally, he had his trophy. There it was, and there it would stay.

The satisfaction of winning, however, soon died away. Waluigi had turned and settled himself onto his couch, slouching as he began to stare at the room before him.

He won.

Why wasn't he feeling better than how he felt last week?

Desperate to feel the bubbles of joy, Waluigi closed his eyes and replayed the events of the award ceremony in his head.

_Spectators clapping and whistling, Princess Daisy riding on the back of the second place kart, passing by that fat pig in the audience, looking to his left and catching Luigi grinning back at him..._

Ah.

That smile.

Waluigi's eyes flew open as he grabbed at the couch cushions.

There was that feeling of joy, amongst memories of Luigi's happy face and laughter.

"_We did it, Wally! I told you we'd win!"_

That sweet voice, which had been spitting the foulest of words just a few hours before, was back to normal. A strangely welcomed change.

And there were the bubbles of joy.


End file.
